The ChildFREE (Hate) Movement: Childless By Choice

Known as the CFers, this group acts more like a hate group

iStock/Photo by: Maitrize

iStock/Photo by: Maitrize

Childfree. A clever appellation for a group of people who are “childless by choice”, the term conjures up happy associations with words like “carefree” or “worry free”. On the surface (that is, in the carefully chosen words on the front pages of their websites), this childfree movement appears calm and rational, even reticent, in the face of the great discrimination they claim to face.

On sites such as, you’ll find descriptions like: “We are a group of adults who all share at least one common desire: we do not wish to have children of our own…We consider ourselves childFREE — free of the loss of personal freedom, money, time and energy that having children requires… Most of us are almost afraid [of] the disapproving stares and cries of, ‘How can you not want children?!’…We feel like freaks.”

Well, if they feel like freaks, maybe it’s because they are freaks. Dig under the surface, flip over a log or two, and you’ll find a much darker picture. The following comments were taken from several ChildFREE sites around the web recently, discussing noisy kids in restaurants:

“Unfortunately this is AZ where breeders [parents] rule and moos [mothers] get laws passed so they can whip out their tits in public.”


“You breed ’em, you control ’em… Someone had better keep the damned monsters quiet.”

“If breeders and their vermin were confronted more often for such shit, it might go a long way to stop it. But nobody wants to step up. …”

Lovely. Really sounds like a hate group, doesn’t it? (If you don’t see it, just substitute racial epithets for “moos”, “vermin”, etc.) And this just scratches the surface: when I made a foray into this forum to stick up for parents (essentially, to point out that not all of us should be tarred with the same brush), my young children were insulted in brutal and even sexual terms, and thinly disguised threats were made against their lives (to the point that I reported it to the FBI). To be fair, there are other posters on this forum who use a more moderate tone — but since they don’t confront the hatemongers, and continue to converse with them, they are culpable as well for implicitly supporting this toxic stew of hatred.

Moving past the unhinged child haters, even the more moderate “Cfers” (ChildFREEers) suffer from a serious logic deficit. If their basic proposition were that there are many mediocre to bad parents whose kids, as a fairly direct result, are no picnic either — then yes, I’d have to agree with that. But that’s an argument for better parenting, not for the elimination of children from the planet, for god’s sake! The answer to bad parenting is to set an example with good parenting, not to carp from the sidelines.

Even more frustrating, this is largely a secular and liberal bunch (like yours truly). Yet they don’t seem very savvy as to how evolution works. They are filtering their DNA right out of the gene pool — and if, as we secular liberals tend to believe, there is no supernatural afterlife, the gene pool is all we’ve got. Since by definition all people have to start out as children, to dislike children and oppose “breeding” is essentially to oppose the continuation of the human race. Yet a lot of these folks seem to like other adults, as long as said adults are also childfree. Do they really not want another generation of adults to come into existence? Would they actually like to stop the entire human race from procreating, if that were possible? I’m just not sure they’ve thought this whole thing through properly.

One issue that childfree advocates have seized upon is that of the inequities of the tax system. There’s no question that parents pay less in taxes than non-parents, due to the federal per-child tax credit. This does essentially mean that childless workers subsidize the taxes of their “breeding” coworkers, because to eliminate the child tax credit in a revenue-neutral way would require lowering taxes for workers who don’t have kids. But this ignores the fact that someone is going to have to take care of these ChildFREE advocates when they are old and/or disabled. And since it obviously won’t be their kids, it’s going to have to be other people’s kids. So a little advance payment to help raise the generation that’s going to be changing their adult diapers someday doesn’t strike me as out of order!

I want to be clear: I’m not saying people shouldn’t have the choice to not procreate, or that making that choice means someone has less worth as a human being. But the people who join this “childfree” bandwagon are insufferable whiners at best. At worst… well, they represent something much more malign, as we may well see in the comments if any CFers catch wind of this column…

Share with your friends

  • Hilary Cat

    Butthurt alert!! Butthurt alert!!!! Someone was an asshole to me online so I reported them to the FBI!!!!!! I argue with people on forums that don’t agree with me because I have nothing better to do with my life!!!!!

    • Lol

      And what do you think you were doing in that comment? lol, your hypocrisy and stupidity is amusing.

      • AJ


  • ryan

    Newsflash: That hate you’re seeing? That’s because people are sick of dealing with screaming children brought into the world by parents who either aren’t equipped or just can’t be bothered to actually parent. The vast majority of people who are childfree just want to live their lives without being told to go forth and multiply every other day. It’s articles like this, full of seething vitriol and wildly inaccurate bullshit (which, by the way, fuels the hate-fires of the few childfree people who genuinely can’t stand kids/parents) that get us up in arms.

    • SpeakTruthShameDevil

      Seething hatred and wildly inaccurate bullshit, do you say? Project much?

  • katphoti

    I’m amazed that you didn’t touch on the fact that parents can be just as mean and spiteful as the CF can be, as you are being in your own opinion piece. I have been called horrible names and treated like crap by my own family simply because I don’t have kids. So most of us are pretty damn tired of being treated as less than humans for not having kids. And I noticed this little nasty quip” “ChildFREE advocates when they are old and/or disabled. And since it obviously won’t be their kids, it’s going to have to be other people’s kids.” So wait a minute…are you saying everyone should have kids so they will take care of them when they get older? REALITY CHECK: most kids don’t want to change their parents’ diapers when they get incontinent. In fact, if I did have kids, I wouldn’t want them to be trying to take care of me unless they were doctors or nurses. What a selfish person you are. I could’ve sworn people have kids to better the world around them…guess not! And since the CF don’t have to pay for their kids, they can save that money to pay for a gorgeous nursing home with hot babes (male and female) tending to their every needs, including refilling their margaritas and rubbing their feet. You’ll just be stuck in a single room nursing home where you kids don’t visit you but once a month. Have fun with that!

  • StaceyC

    You Sir, are a bigot. Replace the word “childfree” with the word “gay”, “transgender”, “black”, “disabled” or any group and re-read your article with that word- especially the parts about being “freaks” and “illogical.” Commenting on another group doesn’t make you less of a bigot. It just makes you a bigot with a big mouth.

  • TooWeirdToLiveTooRareToDie

    This has to be one of the stupidest articles I’ve ever read. Some people don’t want kids. They don’t have to justify their reasoning to you. They don’t have to like children and they don’t have to pander to you. I have 2 boys, I love my boys. I have plenty of friends who don’t wish to have children and you know what? I’ve seen them get some of rudest responses in the world about it. I’ve seen co-workers tear them down. But you know what? Good on them for knowing themselves well enough to not have children. Good on the movement for making sure people like you Mr. Thomas don’t treat them horribly. If you don’t like what the childfree people say, then don’t read it.

    • Bless your heart!

    • SpeakTruthShameDevil

      What if we find their venting to be particularly odious and damaging? Then objecting seems quite rational.

      • The Mushroom Princess

        Then suck it up and ignore it.

      • Maligned millennial

        CF mostly keep to their private groups and chats to vent – it’s very rare to see vitriol spilled outwardly (specifically at childburdened people) so no – it’s not odious or damaging. if you find it distasteful,no one is forcing you to go there and read it. I think you have a hard time with feeling your own choices are invalidated just because someone holds an opposing viewpoint. you need to grow a pair and own your shit

  • Rippy

    Please don’t attend a convention, I”m tired of parents getting on me for being Childless and showing up. Most times I go to conventions where no one cares, but even that’s becoming kind of impossible. Then again, we have these Parents groups whinning about rules and policies that publicly attack or shame the childless crowds as vandals or thieves or worse…yeah, nothing like going to a convention and suddenly being asked some some well meaning parent, “Where are your kids?” and suddenly get a glare of a century for saying, “Not a parent, but a super aunt.” Like oh my gods, I must have broke a law somewhere to state that.

  • What

    Ummmm. The author called the FBI because they threatened his children. Childfree do whine far too much. Discrimination my ass. I can’t stand white people. They have been rude, racist asshole so it’s no wonder I hate them right back. @ The mushroom princess, where did he ask for justification of not having children? Childfree don’t have to pander to parents, but guess what, parents don’t have to pander to the childfree either. I wish we could split the United States, or even the world in half and have childfree live on one side and parents and kids live on the other side. That way everyone wins. As a POC I wish all I had to complain and moan about were the horrors of being childfree. I also don’t appreciate white assholes trying to use being childfree as some type of social injustice. Really? Seriously? Smack in the face for people who truly fight discrimination and oppression on a daily basis.

    • daneetalorettajackson

      This is more about gender than race. Women have been held down for thousands of years because we have no control over our own reproductive processes. We still have no control legally, and our rights are fast being eroded. White women have more control because of white privilege, I will give you that, but women are still second class citizens treated like objects by the white male patriarchy. This is about gender.

    • pitcherday

      Relative privation. Because racism exists (and it DOES), doesn’t mean all other forms of discrimination are not also bad. Transphobia, Islamophobia, what have you… it’s not a contest to see which form of discrimination is the worst, it’s recognizing that there IS discrimination of the CF (and there IS), and it needs to stop. Just like all the other stereotyping and discrimination. Pretending it doesn’t exist and denying people their own experiences helps nobody.

    • The Mushroom Princess

      Oh shut it. What does race have to do with it? I’m Afro-Latina and I think you’re being melodramatic and angry for no reason. Parents need to vent and the same goes to the childfree. This guy decided to be a whiny child and report someone to the FBI because he wanted to play the victim when HE was the one who interfered and interrupted a discussion amongst childfree individuals. Given the already angry and condescending rhetoric from this article, this idiot should have known what to expect.

      The childfree have a right to post and speak whatever they want. As parents, it IS our responsibility to know what type of situations our kids can and cannot handle. With my oldest son, I could take him to a restaurant when he was 6 months old. With my youngest, we couldn’t go until he was 7 and understood what an inside voice was. Kids are kids, it is our responsibility as parents to show courtesy and know what public situations work best for our kids. If you choose to have kids, then you need to be an example and show them how to be courteous when in public spaces. It doesn’t mean, bad things won’t happen, just that you are aware of your surroundings. Your entire argument is ridiculous and makes no sense. Discrimination comes in all shapes and sizes and you seem far more angry, bitter and offended than most of the childfree who have posted. Like I said, if you don’t like what the childfree have go say then be an adult about it and ignore it.

    • SpeakTruthShameDevil

      Bigoted against children and white people. With an attitude like that, you’re sure to stay childfree whether you like it or not…

  • wolfie

    You put on the blindfold, lit the cigarette, and walked onto the firing line of a group that leans to venting to others in similar situations to plead the case of “We’re not all like that?”. Then you’re aghast when people who are already seething with irritation and anger turn their venom and claws on you, are you daft man? You just walked in and made yourself a target, Then run off and make yourself a hypocrite with writing this tripe. As for the whole who’ll take care of you when you’re old/disabled bit, it will be the person whom we pay; as some of us don’t believe in children being born, just to be “morally” enslaved to their parents wants and needs. If that is the reason for you having them, then you are one selfish jerk who doesn’t see them for what they are. Individuals who have their own lives. Who may one day find their choices at odds with societies “ideals”. Who will then find themselves deprived of their venting place , because of that “we’re not all like that” asshole.

  • P Anise Daniels

    I just can’t afford kids. I don’t hate other people who can.

  • daneetalorettajackson

    Your entire understanding of the childfree movement is based on some websites you visited where you tried to defend your rights as a parent and were viciously attacked. I’m sorry you had that experience. I would like you to step into my shoes as a childfree by choice woman of 51. I was an early articulator, which means that when you were telling your friends how many kids you wanted, I was telling them that I wanted none. I was six. Imagine how many times I was told I’d change my mind, etc. How would you feel being told that what you know to be true to your core is just a phase. It’s just a phase that you want children. I have very good reasons why I don’t have children, but they are none of your business just like your reason for breeding is none of mine. I would argue, however, that I have thought more deeply about my choice than you have.

    Here’s what strangers have called me to my face when they know I am childfree: slut, cunt, selfish, lesbian (I’m not, by the way, and it’s not really an insult, but stupid people think it is.), anti-Christian, fucking Muslim (really confused about that one), dyke, child hater, baby killer (???), unnatural, not a real woman. Oh, gosh, there are so many others. I’ve also received death threats and been told that someone should come to my house and “put a fucking baby in my belly.” Wow. So, sorry that you had to deal with those insults and threats. But you went looking for that. I gues I went looking, too, when I refused to breed. I’m not a baby machine. I cannot be responsible for keeping the human race alive. There are too many other women who WANT to do that. Do you have any childfree friends? If not, then you really don’t know my life. You just know a bunch of anonymous cyber bullies on a website.

    • Elaine Walkden

      Apparently I’m desiccated, must look like a man, smell like cat piss and am vapid. I “run around trying to pick up men” and am “sadly trying to look like I’m age 24 forever and sadly failing”. I’m mentally ill, too. People should be afraid to leave a child in my care (though that’s fine by me) because since I don’t want children, I must hate them and want to cause them harm.

      I could make a BINGO card and fill it with all the chestnuts and tripe people have put out since even I’ve been too young to reproduce.

      Childfree groups came about because of all the nastiness and judgment CF were receiving from current and future parents, and from sexist men.

      Something tells me this author went and started an argument in the CF group where the alleged threat happened. It doesn’t justify threats of harm, but threats of harm don’t come out of the clear blue sky unless the one giving the threat is bat shit crazy.

      • Grey Keetan

        When I read the article, I realized that he did what any good bigot does. He chose extremist comments and used them to attack a whole group of people. And you are right. Some people in that thread needed to vent.

    • Grey Keetan

      Best response! I lived through the same generational influences as you. I decided that if we are to really value children, then we should not have them if we do not want to engage in child-rearing. It is the adult thing to do . Children are too valuable. They should not be part of some cultural edict. I am happy that I have lived through the many social movements that questioned oppression and encouraged the ability to have choice. Also, I grew up in a neighborhood where no less than 5 women on my block were being bullied, assaulted, and even raped by husbands who violated their marriages. Why would any parent tell a girl that having children is her main reason for living or her duty?

  • JLeaLopez

    “But the people who join this “childfree” bandwagon are insufferable whiners at best. At worst… well, they represent something much more malign, as we may well see in the comments if any CFers catch wind of this column…” Translation: “I wrote this misinformed and purposely inflammatory article for the clicks. Instead of saying anything intelligent to foster discussions, I’ll say things likely to incite the vile response I want so I can point to it and say, ‘See, I told you!'” You really couldn’t be any more transparent.

    You make an assumption based on absolutely zero facts – that childfree people are advocating for all people to be CF and essentially let the human race die out – and then base the rest of your article on that. Which then makes your entire article baseless. There are a group of people who believe in letting the human race go extinct, and naturally there will be some overlap with people who don’t want kids for themselves, but it isn’t childfree people as a whole. Funny how you want to insist that not all parents “should be tarred with the same brush” but have no trouble doing the same to childfree folks based on your foray onto a few CF websites.

  • BBKlR

    This is the silliest article I’ve ever read and I feel as if I actually came out less smart after reading it. Nobody is saying for the whole world to stop breeding. Childfree is just that. You stumbled across child hate groups, not child free and there is a BIG difference. Many childfree by choice people do not hate kids and in fact love them, but do not want any of their own for whatever personal reason. I personally do not like children at all and choose to live a life where I never have to see any. I (like many other childfree) could not imagine harming a child or allowing harm to come to one. People do strange things and I don’t know why it’s anyone’s business what the next person does, but why would anyone want somebody that doesn’t care to have kids to be a parent?? That’s when weird and disgusting situations arise.. from people that shouldn’t have had any. FYI having children because you think they’ll take care of you is assanine. They won’t. Many elderly in nursing homes now have children.. and guess what? They don’t pay for it or even show up. I’ll be paying for all of that out of my own pocket. the childfree should get the tax break, not parents. I don’t want to pay for schooling or any other child related expense, but I do. Yet the parents get a tax break… for no reason at all. I pay more for YOUR kids and it’s wrong. I pay more throughout the year and get almost none of it back.. even though I will never use many of the resources that it pays for. Also many things cost more because I don’t get any type of programs or assistance of any sort.. because I don’t have children. Even housing is more expensive, even though my home will always be clean and tidy and I’ll be working all day every day and sleeping while I’m not, so to recap.. cleaner, working longer hours, having and saving more money and very quiet, but pay more money and passed over for housing options in lieu of a family with children. Makes sense. People really need to start respecting other people’s decision and realize that there is no one right way. I don’t like or want children, but I respect people that do and can be happy for them that they’re happy and got the outcome they desired. Nobody has the same set of ideals, morals or way of life or thinking and nobody is wrong for it.

    • Grey Keetan

      Ditto. I respect those who have children. I am a modern American woman. I view those women who have decided to have children as being no different but, unfortunately, some of them say ignorant things to me. Can’t have an honest conversation with some because they bias their responses based on “You wouldn’t know. You don’t have any responsibility”. And it is disheartening that I am viewed by some as thwarting my duty to make babies as if I am some kind of “breeder”. Children are way too valuable to be viewed as “duty”. Whose being selfish now, right?

  • Charlotte Aken

    And begin rant….OK when you don’t have kids and every aspect of culture and society bends to children and parents and you are told you are dumb for your decision, that you will regret it, that my life has no meaning because I did pop a chuckle of DNA out of me potentiality attaching my self to a human that I can’t stand for the rest of my life you get irritated. People are salty. when you go into the one place we have to vent yeah people didn’t like it. I noticed there were no screenshots of said attacks. Guess what I don’t like most kids and a bunch of overly pretentious parents are just as insufferable. I used to like kids then I worked retail. Do something about your child screaming it hurts my ears and I don’t want to deal with it, stop thinking the toy aisle is a babysitter it’s fucking not and when you leave your small child unattended I don’t want to spend my time watching it because you are an irresponsible parent. Stop thinking you and your child are special and the rules don’t apply to you are you human do you live here guess what honey just because you chose to procreate doesn’t mean the world bends to your needs. People with kids always get special treatment. And if you don’t have kids the world treats you like you don’t matter. Oh and guess what humans are bad for the environment. I fully aware I have a ton of people who are parents or are about to have a baby on my friends list and if you know me and care about me none of this is a surprise to you. But dear rest of the population, stop raising self entitled bratty little monsters and you all can stop acting like this as well. I’m talking to you clicky moms who think your precious little snowflake is the end all be all of the universe and other kids or people don’t matter. Guess what they do everyone matters and people do post on the rarity that a well behaved well mannered child is found. Oh and fucking stick to your God damn guns if you say you are going to punish your kid one warning and fucking do it because kids these days are smart and they know you will give in if you continue to give them chances. I’m not saying beat your kids. Dont fucking do that! but there are many effective way of punishment and oh yeah take your fucking face away from the God damn screen and pay attention to your fucking kids! you made them show some fucking interest…. Sorry but I feel better. Also if I had kids i could get Medical coverage and food stamps while waiting for SSI… no kids so sad please become homeless and die.

    • Sandra Fischer Baumann


  • Victoria Gaunt

    Tell that to all the whiny, entitled bitchy parents who think everyone should bow down to them just because they had a kid. I’m sick and tired of society bending over backwards to accomodate parents and their offspring. YOU chose to have a kid, I shouldn’t have to fucking rethink my life because of the CHOICE that you made.

  • Tiefer Alt

    Sorry, but I think you’re being far too sensitive. Reporting people to the FBI just for bullshitting and ranting is ridiculous and hysterical. Do you also report people to the FBI every time they say things like ‘If my kid doesn’t shut up I’ll strangle her’ or ‘Oh my god, if my husband leaves the toilet seat up one more time I’m gonna kill him’? Grow up.

    Yes, people talk shit on these sites, because it’s one of the few places they can vent without people taking offense and overreacting.

  • Gael O’Brien

    Notice how the writer doesn’t talk about how wonderful it is to have kids? The only positive I could find was the expectation of free elder care. I think someone just now realized they didn’t HAVE to have kids and is more than a little green eyed – and also a tad butthurt because someone called him out on his bullshit.

    • Chrissie McClusky

      Badly written and poorly researched article. Every forum has anti people on it. The writer of this blog is trying to persecute the child free by choice. No wonder CF members disrespect people like the writer by calling them ‘breeders’. They are indeed breeders, nothing offensive there…just fact. The person who wrote this blog has no idea how much damage they are doing to the planet. There are not enough jobs, houses, lack of food production to name a few issues. People who have kids should praise those who don’t so that their kids can get a school place or a help to buy new build. Live and let live or live and let die. This blog is a joke!

      • Grey Keetan

        I am willing to bet the “breeder” insult came about because the haters among those WITH children tend to impose their beliefs on CF-ers…….as if they want every female to be inseminated to fill some conventional cultural edict. Children are too precious for that.

  • EndoSurvivor

    Mommy blogger gets upset about supposed childfree hate groups.

    Writes a column about how much she hates childfree people.

    Once you started calling us freaks, I stopped right there. Sanctimonious bitches like you are what we really hate. You sit behind your computer and write garbage like this like you’re some kind of hero for birthing, and meanwhile your kid is off being an asshole somewhere because you’re too busy writing about how awful childfree people are.

    Seriously. Fuck you.

    • daneetalorettajackson

      Haha, I think it’s a dude who wrote this article. I respect dudes, but I get the feeling that he might have employed a bit of mansplaining on that CF forum. Now I don’t want to go on a gender tirade, but being mansplained about why I should breed gets my ire up more than anything. Are we talking about YOUR uterus? No. You don’t have a uterus, so shut the hell up about mine. One of my Christian friends on FB told me that it was God’s imperative that I breed. Not my God, and, oops, too late.

      • Grey Keetan

        “Man-splained”!! I love it. LOL! It was in one of those PBS British dramas (Pride and Predjudice?) that one woman says to another. “Dear, in matters of “love”, women are greatly put upon”. Every political debate is still about a woman’s role in procreation. We have the uterus and we get criticized. But notice that men… 2017….are still not criticized for not taking responsibility for their special role in procreation. (And I am not talking about “after the fact”). Women are not depositories for sperm. Modern, caring men get this.

    • Yassssss!

  • EndoSurvivor

    Just realized this was written by a guy. Wow dude. I thought sanctimommies were bad. Btw you write like a whiny woman

  • bonniefide

    What the heck did you think would happen by sneaking into CF groups? What do you think would happen if we randomly went into parenting groups and started harassing parents? I’m ashamed I even gave this article a click.

  • ?xoxobunny?

    Lmao I love that nobody agrees with this fucking retard.

  • Elaine Walkden

    There are hateful people in all online communities, but it doesn’t make them hate groups. How silly to say so.

  • Michelle Helen Donovan

    I’m sorry that other people’s choices to not have children seems to have such an effect on your life.

    I respect your choice to be a parent, even if you choose to disrespect mine.

  • Katt Petersen

    I’m a CFer, but I advocate for people to have the choice on whether they have kids or not. I advocate for the protection of children; no child should ever be threatened or mistreated and every single child should have the right to education.
    I’m sorry you experienced some worrying behaviour like that, but as you said not to tar all parents with the same brush, please don’t tar all CFers with the same brush.
    I agree with you that the comments made to you were unacceptable.
    However, what I disagree strongly with is your notion that childfree by choice people are counter-evolutionary freaks. There’s such a thing as ‘natural population control’; our adversity to reproducing means that those who do choose to reproduce will have more resources and space for their children. Some of us make the choice not to pass down our genes as we recognise our genes as defective (to use my personal example, mental illness and ‘ugly’ genetics run in my family). I don’t think there’s anything freakish about that, in fact it’s an unselfish conscious decision.

  • Outlaw

    We’re childFREE versus childLESS because we are free of something we don’t want, versus without something we want.

    I’ve known since I was 5 that I didn’t want children. When I turned 30 I made sure that it stayed that way.

    No point in whining about us, we are everywhere!

    • Grey Keetan

      Ditto! You are the second person in this thread that said they knew early on that they did not want to have kids. I also knew. And , yes, we are everywhere. And the really wonderful thing is, if we decide we want to help children, there are so many ways we can do so.

  • Sara

    What a selfish person! How can one be so arrogant to publish this and be serious? News flash: NOT EVERYONE WANTS KIDS. And those people, who have been targeted and treated like shit by society, are finally standing up to those that want to oppress them – People who can NOT comprehend a person that doesn’t think and feel the exact SAME as them about particular subjects. THIS is as much a “hate movement” as the woman’s suffrage movement was a hate movement!

  • pitcherday

    I can’t believe that having a child or children so you have at least one geriatric nurse seems okay. You REALLY want to give the burden of sponge bathing and emptying your catheter bag to your kids??? Why would you expect that of someone? To get rid of their job (or maybe take them away from caring for their own children, should they decide to have some), get rid of their lives and become in servitude to you in their mid-lives? You might want to invest in some long-term care insurance, that’s not a bet that always pays off.

  • Elina

    “Would they actually like to stop the entire human race from procreating, if that were possible?” Yes. Humans are worst thing ever happened to our planet and surely every other species would do much better if we didn’t exist.

  • CFandHappy

    Sooo, you infiltrated some childfree forums with your whinging and whining and then wondered why you were set upon and had some colourful language thrown your way!? If I as a Christian went onto an Atheist forum and droned on, I’d be treated the same way… that’s just an example, anyone crashing in on a forum and posting opposing opinions will end up being berated by the members there!! Don’t do it if you can’t handle it! Childfree forums are also places were the childfree can go and just vent, we tend to go a little crazy. The vast majority of us would never hurt or wish harm on a child, and if you delved a little deeper, you would see that we probably care more about kids than a lot of parents do, most of us hate shitty parents more than we dislike kids! And at least we’ve put thought into whether we want children or not, haven’t just pushed them out because our DNA MUST LIVE ON, and then been a neglectful or abusive parent full of resentment!

    Basically, you haven’t got even half the facts you need to post a column about the childfree. Do some more research and come back when you know what you’re talking about!!!

  • Maria Jose Lorente Berois

    Wow, a dude mansplaining everyone why they’re whiners
    if they don’t sprout. I’m sure this ass left the hard part of
    raising their children to his wife (like those cavemen al-
    ways do) And yyes, I paint them ALL WITH THE SAME
    BRUSH, because I’ve never seen these turds do fifty
    percent of the work involved in childcare.

    • daneetalorettajackson

      This is actually a good point. I have been mansplained about why I should have children by the husband while the wife is in the back cooking and cleaning and baby caring. FOR NO MONEY. It’s a scam! Young women, if you know you don’t want children, if you know to your core, please, please, please walk away from the man who tells you you have to breed to keep him. He doesn’t want you. He wants your ovaries and your free labor. Even if you earn your own living, you will still be responsible for the lion’s share of “women’s work.” Again unpaid. If you want to have babies, I support you, but work out the details with your dude before he puts a baby in your belly.

  • Sam

    “Would they actually like to stop the entire human race from procreating, if that were possible?” Just because some people chose not to breed does not mean the human race will die out. You can never stop all of the breeders…

    • Smith_90125

      It wouldn’t surprise if the “writer” had no problem with the scumbag dentist killing a lion. Lions absolutely ARE in danger of extinction due to a lack of a breeding pool – a problem caused by humans.

  • Leeba Weisberg

    That’s a whole lot of whining for someone complaining about CF whiners. Just saying.

  • Whiners? Sounds like you are whining right now. About something that literally has nothing to do with u and has zero impact on your life? Entitled much? As far as taxes go, yea we dont get back as much as the breeders, but we also don’t have to shell put over 200 grand for the cost of raising a child. Also, myself and other childfree humans, believe the world is overpoplulated, and contributing to that is just careless and selfish. Some of us even encourage the slow and steady extinction of the human race. If anyone wants kids, why aren’t they adopting the many children that are already here and need homes? Why bring more people into an overpopluated planet that doesn’t have the resources to sustain that increasing number of humans?

    • Shannon


      • CFandHappy

        “LOL” all you like. I totally agree with GuroKoneko!

  • Shannon

    I don’t understand why somebody happy with their choice to have kids would have to troll a group of childfree people. That sounds FBI creepy to me.

  • childfree

    Hey idiot, did you ever think that some of us are childfree because we have shitty genes? I have three types of cancer, heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, depression/bipolar and autoimmune diseases that runs in my family with most members dying before the average lifespan age. Really think I should be reproducing?

    And most childfree do NOT hate kids. I married a guy with several siblings and I am everyone’s favorite aunt. I love my herd of nieces and nephews and see all of them at least once a week.

  • amaryllis

    No one should have to put up with other people’s badly behaved children. And decent parenting is on the decline. Children run around and scream in restaurants, grocery stores, airplanes, movie theaters, and you wonder why some venues are just excluding children? My local Whole Foods cafe has recently put up a list of rules for behavior because it had become like Romper Room and the patrons who want to eat a sandwich and read were getting headaches from the children screaming and running around like it was a McDonald’s playground. This has helped, but has not eliminated the problem.

    Last week I was sitting at one of the tables, and some toddler was screaming at the next table and kicking the back of my banquet seating. I asked the mother to control her kid, and she replied, “He’s a toddler, you can’t control them”. I pointed to the list of rules at her table, and said, “You know, there’s no screaming and kicking exception for toddlers”. The majority of parents don’t even try, and that’s why you’re seeing the frustration.

    • CFandHappy

      YESSS, ALL OF THIS!!!!!

  • Rachel Morrison

    I don’t hate parents and I’m not a hateful person. But thanks for judging. Children are not something I need or want in my life. It’s as simple as that. However, I do get annoyed by clueless parents who think it’s OK to let their kids run screaming around restaurants while the rest of us try to enjoy our dinner in peace. And I also dislike when parents feel free to tell me why I should have kids of my own even when I tell them I’m not interested.

  • Nicholas McNamara

    i am childless by my choice as i did not want to pass some conditions that run in my family i believe we childless would like peace and quiet at a cafe while we enjoy some coffee and a newspaper, we want parents to use buses and trains instead of airlines lets face it i cant move out of earshot of a screaming kid on a plane but i can at least move carriages on a train

  • Shel

    Those calling themselves Child Free are a hate group. They hate parents and children. Just read the comments below. The joke is on them, however, since they don’t recognize they were once children and they have parents. When you fight biology, you get the twisted mental illness these people have. They live in a constant state of hatred of the children they once were and the emptiness of never having experienced what millions of years of evolution designed their bodies and brains to do. Most processes of the human body are dedicated to reproduction, including how our brain works, the female brain designed to care for babies and children. Their genes will be removed from the human gene pool, so it is just a temporary anomaly.

    • The Mushroom Princess

      Lol. You’re an idiot.

      • Missy

        Child Free = freak show

        • The Mushroom Princess

          Shut up. Judgmental busy body asshole = freak show.

          You’re probably just jealous. Not everyone wants kids, needs to have kids, or enjoys raising kids. No one should be forced to do anything they don’t want to do. I love my own kids but I totally get why it’s not for everyone.

          • Missy

            You make about as much sense as a rock.

            Oh and btw I’m glad these bitter angry evolutionary rejects are not breeding.

          • The Mushroom Princess

            Let that be a testament to how stupid you sound.

          • Missy

            Again, that makes no sense. Most Child Free online posters are hostile, angry, bitter, twisted, rude, nasty. Based on their online comments, they live in a constant bitter rage. The reason no one bothers with them as they rant about how much they hate families, children, and babies? They’ve decided they are glad these hostile ugly people aren’t breeding.

          • The Mushroom Princess

            And you can’t be a mature adult about it and ignore it? You’re just as bad.

          • Missy

            Actually I decided to ignore them after one round of talking to these horrible people. Why did I talk to them? To try and help them understand the “other side” (I have insight here because I was one of them for a long time). Like the author, it was met with an assault by the most nasty ugly people on Earth. After that, I realized it’s best to let them remain in darkness. You responded to a very old post.

          • The Mushroom Princess

            So now you’re the victim? Lol. Considering your rhetoric here, it’s no small wonder you were met with hostility. I actually like coming to these forums, it helps me figure out what I need to do better to help my children better interact with the public. The childfree are great for that.

          • Missy

            Victim, hell no. It’s war with these nasties. I want nothing to do with them and I’m glad they are not breeding. I don’t know why any one would need advice knowing how kids or adults should act in public, just be polite and do the best you can.

          • The Mushroom Princess

            So why are you wasting your time commenting here? It’s pretty clear you hate them because you are jealous of them, otherwise you wouldn’t be wasting the time to leave a comment and respond to mine. The author of this stupid and horribly written article wouldn’t have felt the need to write this if he wasn’t subconsciously jealous.

          • Missy

            Oh please. I’m done. My god jealous? I’d like to pity them but because they are so nasty, I can’t. Case is closed.

          • The Mushroom Princess

            So let them be nasty. Are you so narcissistic that you have to be seen as holier than thou? This is pathetic.

          • AJ

            Jealous. That’s what you are.

    • Amalia Koch

      i dont hate children. sometimes they have anoing parents. that let them scream kick and act like an a@#hole. and they dont care. or taking ababy to an adult movies

  • Di Another Day

    How ironic that you wrote all this accusing *other* people of being whiners.

  • Smith_90125

    Did anyone actually “threaten” him? Or is that just a desperate cry for attention and feigned victimhood? This article reeks of passive-aggressive blather, especially the false claim at the end of “not oppsing choice”, which he most absolutely does.

  • Smith_90125

    His whine comes from having the privilege of money that lets him desperately prove fertility and dominance, and the wilful ignorance of not even trying to find out what the childfree movement is about. He could met people and learnt valid reason for choosing not to gave any, but it was easier for him to repeat hateful fictions than make a real effort. As a school teacher, I genuinely fear for the kids he claims to have. I have people as controlling as he is be some of the worst physical abusers of children

  • ollygollymolly

    “Wahhhh all parents aren’t the same!” *writes post about how all CF people are, hateful (or at the very least super whiny) and paints us all with the same brush*

  • Lovely Anonymous

    “But this ignores the fact that someone is going to have to take care of these ChildFREE advocates when they are old and/or disabled.”

    Are you sure about this? Your government is working overtime to make sure NO ONE cares for the old, those with or without children. Look around you. The skilled nursing facilities are packed with people right now who have children. Those children are overworked (some underpaid) with their own families & cannot properly care for an aging adult. Medicare & Medicaid are footing the bills for that. For now. Until that gets axed.

    The sober reality is that if there any one to care for us when we’re old…it’s US!

  • Sandra Fischer Baumann

    Don’t join a childfree group if you have kids. Bottom line.

  • Victoria Gaunt

    NEWSFLASH: YOUR children are YOUR responsibility. Some child free people (Myself included) just don’t like children. It doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with us, we just don’t like kids. Plus, parents can be just as vindictive and spiteful, if not more so.

  • RabbitWarrior

    As a child I was intellectually gifted, and did not like other children…I clearly recall being at a party for toddlers ( I was a toddler) and watching how purely vile the children were to each other, and how quickly they put on a sweet innocent mask and acted babified and cutesy when an adult entered the room. I knew by the age of five that i would not be having children….
    As an adult, apart from some understanding of the human condition, i actually understand that i do not want to sentence another human being to a prison term on this planet where prostituting your life out for money (called employment) is seen as “normal”. I do not want to subject another human being to the horrors of growing up in captivity being brainwashed to be a good little cog in someone else’s machine, obedience trained, and subjected to the societal norms of complete morons.
    So if that sets you off- tough cheese.

  • RabbitWarrior

    I just wanted to point out one more thing.
    Back before the government started giving handouts and tax breaks for having children (because they need a steady stream of taxpayers) children were largely seen as not as valuable as adults.
    Society was for adults, children were seen and not heard.
    In fact societal morays were such that protection was sought for abused children under animal cruelty laws, because there were no laws protecting children, they were considered the parent’s responsibility-not everyone else’s/.
    Back in my great grandparent’s time, they did not have government agencies that were concerned with “child welfare”, if someone beat his wife and kids, the men of the community got together and gave him a damn good hiding.
    That said, the earth did not revolve around the children the way it does today.
    If a child was misbehaving in a public place, ADULTS, not children, had the priority, the child would be removed…adults were more valuable, having more skills and intellect.
    children were seen as uncivilized.
    Our current society (thanks to government and corporations which make money out of children) has turned that hierarchy on it’s head. Children are seen as the end all be all, the “noble savage” , the total innocent, everyone must curry their favor.
    As a result we have an infantilized society.
    It is readily apparent to anyone old enough to see it.

  • Melany Monroy

    Excelent!!!! … i really support your statements… it’s simple, if someone doesn’t want kids GREAT! … but if someone else in fact, does want kids, it should be respected too… i know some girl, childfree, who even said “you, fathers, your kids are ugglier than made up ones, do not feel happy for your bad decisions” … WTF!!! how could those words not be disrespectful and rude! … my sister is childfree and she doesn’t need to tell the world she’s better for that personal decision or even worse, to tell her friends that their kids are ugly or “expensive” or worthless… i really think, this childfree stuff is not a “personal decision” anymore.. is a hate culture… a really fucking hate and fanatism culture.

  • Nulligravida

    “So a little advance payment to help raise the generation that’s going to be changing their adult diapers someday doesn’t strike me as out of order!”

    If one argues that children are a public good then taxes collected by governments should be for social services that benefit children directly. Indeed, I have no qualms about my taxes being spent on children’s health and education as it is a bonafide public investment just like state-owned infrastructure and society benefits if the next generation are not semi-literate superstitious toothless peasants.

    However, parenthood itself is a private good. Only parents derive a benefit from baby’s first smile/steps or Junior’s first crayon drawing. That socio-psychological pleasure is that of the parents’ alone and that pleasure cannot be accessed by citizens like a public road. This parents’ so-called work cannot characterised as a civil contribution worthy of fiscal policy that favours the childed. Similarly that parents bear the opportunity cost is not an argument for a taxpayer funded subsidy. That a parent may begrudge being bereft of a a designer purse, recreational travel, salon hair/nails, a wine collection or “me-time” is of arguable social concern for parents but it is not a compelling reason to assert that parents are owed compensation from society for suffering some kind of financial social inequity or oppression.

    Oh and don’t get all offended by dehumanising terms like “social goods” and “private goods” mate. It is your “advance payment” demand that is monetising parenthood.

  • MT

    An old friend contacted me to make plans to have lunch. She just had a baby so of course I wanted to meet her son too, but then last minute she told me they were both too sick and didn’t tell me until I was about to leave. I wished her well and said hopefully we could make plans next weekend. I didn’t even get a reply. A few hours later she posted a picture of her baby with the caption “going for a nightly walk.” I was so angry! I wanted to comment, “wow you look pretty good for someone who’s so miserable from being sick,” but I didn’t because I know how that would make me look. The thing is, I think a lot of people say angry things online because they’ve been marginalized for so long and because they know they can’t say anything to their friends with kids. I’m going through a rough time. I just graduated school, I’m living at home, I have lupus, and just broke up with my fiance. I could have really used a friend. This is the kind of thing my friends with kids do all the time! It’s like once somebody has a kid they forget that other people are going through life struggles too. I ask them how they’re doing, are they getting enough sleep, and I cram their huge strollers into the back of my hatchback scratching the interior. And they act like I should only feel so happy to do them the courtesy. The forced oows and ahhing. Omg they’re so cute gets really old. How many parents love to be around other people’s kids? Well we don’t think your kids are that great but we’re trying to be considerate human beings and it would be nice if people with children could do the same for others without. Like maybe don’t say condescending things such as, I’m so glad I’m not in that stage of my life anymore when speaking to their single friends. Or maybe don’t talk about how childless people couldn’t possibly understand all the things that come with parenting. You’re right I don’t, but do I say things to you like you couldn’t possibly understand what it’s like to be completely alone and not have any help or support? I spend countless money and time for you and your choices with your children and all people want that don’t have kids is a little bit of the same recognition. Maybe congratulate your friend on something they’ve accomplished or ask them how they’re doing!? And I think what really annoys people without kids is the free pass that parents get, like oh I forgot to text you, but you didn’t forget to post the picture of you and your baby on Facebook though did you!? A lot of bad behaviors are written off just because you’re a parent and busy and single people don’t get that same “pass.” Being a parent is a hard job but you know what there are a lot of other hard jobs too and it’s the traditional family mentality that makes others feel so bad about themselves for not having or wanting that. Being unmarried or childless is still a huge stigma!

  • While there may be some extreme factions of the childfree movement, I say this is all just political correctness gone amuck. If you want kids, fine. Just don’t force me to have any.

  • Stefania Longo

    poor old envious momma of our fantastic lifestyle you are. you sound bitter and uneducated. no scientific contribution here but just mommy hate towards a growing movement. Parents are being taken over, i know it’s not easy for you. go back to college to refine your argument

  • CFentrepreneur

    The -free suffix is significant distinction because – as you understand – it denotes being unencumbered with all the duties and responsibilities of being a parent from the perspective of a cf person.

    Whereas childless suggests that something is lacking and you are, well, less for it which is absurd because your life’s work may add massive value to society even if you do not have children. What is far less valuable is to produce lots of children who merely consume resources and produce waste.

    Being childfree doesn’t mean I/we have no responsibilities either, so the term is a bit misleading in that regard and certainly a new addition to the lexicon.

    Having said all that, I too have noticed the hate and a division between more embittered and nasty sorts of people, and the more laid back members of the cf community, who are just not bothered by people as long as they can get on with their own life goals (I’m the latter and you are in fact a “DINK” (Double Income No Kids) if you have a cf partner, which I also have.)

    The reason I am not a fan of hate memes and bashing people for different choices is because, well, firstly it is hypocritical to do so when we expect respect and secondly entrepreneurs like me often have a default positive demeanor and stoic attitude towards life for obvious reasons, and thirdly I personally don’t feel persecuted and enjoy being an outlier.

    It is merely due to differences in my lifestyle and schedules that I find it easier to befriend adults – or DINKs – who are also childfree.

    What fuels this hate in the cf community is the sheer frustration they feel when they are ignorantly and repeatedly questioned about their reproductive plans – even when they have explicitly stated that they do not want children.

    It is utterly disrespectful to tell someone – particularly over the age of 18 – that they do not know there own mind.

    In my experience age has VERY little to do with maturity!

    The anger this trigger is the fault of those asking. What is missing is a mutual respect and the ability to override our instinctive tribal tendencies to only respect and like those who are like us.

    The sooner society accepts and respects that not everyone wants a lifestyle that revolve around children, the sooner the hatred will dissipate.

    I’m afraid I don’t track notifications for this app, only use it when I have to in order to comment on a given site, but I respect all comments in response and wish everyone a good weekend.


  • John Everyman

    I disagree with this article I hate children, But I am not a member of a hate group! I just want to be left alone, if you want to have kids fine just keep them quiet!

  • Amalia Koch

    i dont hate children. but sometimes their parents are deserve it.
    like….people who take their babies to an adult movie…..

  • Kurayami

    I can’t have kids. And even if I wanted to, I can’t adopt because of the discriminatory practices that are all too rampant in the US today. Putting that aside, even if it all worked out and I could have kids, I choose to be childfree. I don’t hate kids, I don’t hare parents. Do I choose to be around them? No, because I don’t have much in common and really don’t feel like it’s for me. My best friend has 4 girls. I love my niece and 2 nephews. They are the most beautiful little beings in the world. But, I have to bide my time and can o lay handle so much loudness and unharnessed energy. I wish I could bottle it and take it as a supplement though.
    I belong to a group called Respectfully Childfree. Any derogatory terms toward parents and kids aren’t allowed. I don’t want to be associated with people who are in the other groups and are so very hate filled and horrible. I left all those groups when I found out the truth about them. A lot of those groups are just full of horrible people. It’s a sad truth and that sucks. I’ve reported my fair share and that’s why many have gone private.

    I don’t see myself as an “insufferable whiner” as it was out, delving into name calling as well. I don’t whine about kids/parents, I choose not to have them in my life and when I do, I have to limit the amount of time, because I know my limits and what is right for me.
    I wish the hateful CF people would get help and not be so hateful, but that can only be changed by open dialogue and probably therapy, because honestly, you don’t have such vitriol against someone or something like that unless there is an underlying issue. (You can ask my therapist.)

  • Allarys

    Seems to me like someone is not doing well with the fact that some people disagree with their life view. Some of us don’t want to have kids, and at every corner are told we are wrong. We’re told that our decision isn’t right. We get called names, even those of use, like me, who don’t want to pass on certain illnesses that never go away and are very painful. We should each let the other side be, but then someone writes an article like this, and we feel attacked once more for a decision that doesn’t affect any of the strangers telling us that we are wrong and that something is wrong with us. How do you expect people to act when you call us freaks, tell us we’re wrong, and then expect what? Us to start crying and tell you how our lives are changed and we have had our eyes opened? You probably went in there angling for a fight, and then you cry boo when you get one.Talk about bad decisions.

  • Matt Cohrs

    Sounds like someone’s jealousy has gotten out of control here. Some of us don’t want to add to the worlds problems, how can 8 billion people living at once be a good thing?

  • Maligned millennial

    The only one perpetuating hate here is you – and against an already marginalized, oppressed group with this piece. CF are struggling to be taken seriously every day, losing out on opportunities, being ostracized from communities, friends and family, not receiving the same tax and financial benefits, being ridiculed and called horrible names every single day. Do you really want to be seen as contributing to that hate and nastiness? The majority of CF people are kind and have plenty of love in their hearts. It’s not up to you to decide where and how that love is manifest. Some people choose children, some prefer animals, or their professions or caring for others. Not wanting children does not make you evil or morally deficient in ANY way.

  • whatever

    He sounds like a real catch, lol- separated, 2 kids, his “career” is a substitute teacher (glorified babysitter), couldn’t stay in one place, probably lives with his professor parents – I’ve met losers like him, he’s just the type that hits on hot childfree women, and one probably rejected him, so he decided to unleash his bitterness in an “essay” for a “news” site- one that anybody with an internet connection can contribute to.

  • Rhonda

    Wow, that sounds like all of us who choose to live our lives without the burden of children are horrible people! I wonder if it ever occurred to those who do have children that we might just have good reasons for not having kids. For me and my husband, neither of us want kids, but it goes further than just that. We are both adoptees and have no idea what runs in our birth families. That just scratches the surface. To the woman who wrote this article, please take a step back and stop acting like childfree people are awful people. I have nephews and nieces that I love very much…I just don’t want kids of my own.

  • Emily Dotson

    So, how was the Wiggles reunion tour?

  • 1Wildflower

    The writer of this whatever-ya-wanna-call-it seriously needs to POOF-Be GONE! If you really understood CF groups, they are a place where CF-ers can go to VENT as well as share more “moderate” views about being Child free. And yes, personally, given how fucked-up this world is, I wouldn’t feel badly at all if some way, somehow people couldn’t breed anymore and this failed human-experiment would just peacefully fade away(Nature would absolutely CHEER!!):)

  • v

    Sorry to hear you had a bad experience. To use your own words, for both sides “not all of us should be tarred with the same brush.”

  • Jana Němečková

    Piece of s*it.
    You can quote me anytime you want.

  • Have you tried dying mad about it? Stupid breeder.