FILED IN: Child Abuse

The Judas Kiss

How many parents, mothers in particular, would knowingly put their children in harms way and confine their children to an environment absent of any boundaries, safety and protection? How many women are tormentors by proxy, consenting accessories to crimes against children, standing along side their lovers as they hurt their own children? How many women would sacrifice their own children in order to fill a void and nurture their own needs in order to preserve a relationship that is deadly and violent against their own children?

Thankfully, not many.

However, existing amongst us are women who would allow men to rape, torture and torment their own flesh and blood in order to keep their boyfriends or husbands interest. With news of cover-ups and accomplices in crimes against their offspring, what do these women lack that turns them from victim to perpetrator?

Presumably, it’s fairly easy to set apart the criminal sadist from the victims, but when a child’s rapist and abuser has an alliance with the childrens’ mother, the psyche of these women may prove to be more chilling and puzzling than the actual abuser themselves. Let me explain…

The child abuser actually feels empowered and purposeful in the pain they inflict upon children; something in their defective, psychopathic brain that, even when the suffering is realized, leaves them incapable of caring enough to consider helping themselves in order to diminish the suffering of an innocent child. They see absolutely nothing wrong with hurting children, in fact, they live for it often seeing themselves as the victim and blame helpless and defenseless children for provoking their anger and impulses. To them, the abuser and their accomplice, the mother, feel children are nothing more than an object, a nuisance and hindrance to their own selfish needs.

Many examples are found within the news headlines of recent years. Just recently, a “mother”, Neida Baez, stood by while her boyfriend repeatedly beat her baby with a video game chord. Apparently the mother had witnessed this type of torture on a fairly consistent basis and told the police that before the beating, she heard the baby crying and after the brutal beating, she finally heard the baby stop crying. The silence was the hollow absence of life, the baby couldn’t defend herself. The mother made no effort to stop it. Can you imagine how hard and for how long you would have to beat a small child with a chord before her little body just gave up?

Another example is Kathryn Jimenez, who denied her 6-year-old’s father visitation rights, and apparently thought it fitting to stand by and not interfere or obstruct her boyfriend’s disciplinary action which was heinous and abusive and made clear to the mother – he was going to beat the child to death and asked the mother to say good-bye before he carried out his brand of torture and murder under the guise of teaching the little boy a lesson. So what makes her any less culpable than the man who delivered the fatal blows to this innocent child?

In the past few years, public suspicions surround mothers like Melinda Duckett, who was a prime suspect in the disappearance of the toddler in Florida several years ago, and recently, Casey Anthony, mother of missing toddler Caylee Anthony who finds herself under a cloud of suspicion and a “person of interest” as police investigate her daughter’s disappearance while the suspicious mother remains nonchalant, dismissive and bothered by the fact that her baby’s disappearance is keeping her from a random guys bed. What mother would wait a full month before even alerting the authorities and only after the Grandmother decided to call police? Perhaps a mother who already knows the child will never be found alive.

Another act of unthinkable apathy is the case of Elizabeth Frizl who was held captive in an underground bunker, void of any natural light or fresh air. There, the daughter who was raped by her father since she was 11 years old bore 7 children and was captive as a sex slave for 24 years. Her mother, under the excuse of emotional abuse, failed to protect her daughter or ask questions that could have lead to her early release of torment. Her mother was likely interested in keeping the status quo and would rather go on with her own life than face a courageous journey of investigation into her daughter’s disappearance. Recent reports allege that Elizabeth is now estranged from her mother Rosemary for failing to be a protector and allowing Elizabeth’s children to call their grandmother, “Mom”, playing into the fantasies of the abuser and discounting her proper role as a mother and grandmother. Perhaps she was feeding the psychosis of the rapist. Perhaps she wanted to be a mother all over again and enjoyed her role as the mediator or facilitator of the abuse? Most probable however, was her desire to continue along with her vacations and dinner dates with friends, setting aside the suffering of her own children for the reward of continuing her own happiness.

Could it be that all of these mothers ended their children’s lives for a man or the lure of a life they considered would be much richer without the responsibilities of motherhood or did they resent their children for disrupting their lives and needing more than they were willing to give?

While the public automatically assumes that the mothers of child abuse victims are victims themselves, the sad truth is, some of these mothers choose to remain silent to protect their own self interest. It is not always fear that drives their lack of connection and bonding with their child, but an entitlement effect that causes resentment towards their children. If only these children weren’t born, their lovers or boyfriends or husbands wouldn’t be so upset or annoyed, and they wouldn’t have to sacrifice their lives when they deserve so much more. What makes these accomplices ever more dangerous is their willingness to cover up the crimes of their children’s abusers. The fact that they use trickery and deceit to conjure up sympathy for the repulsive behavior of their pathological counterparts, it really shouldn’t come as any surprise, as child abusers are masters of manipulation. The problem lies in the fact that when no protector exists, the child becomes vulnerable prey and the mothers who are supposed to be the barrier between safety and evil see a great divide between the rights of children and the rights of adults. While many female supporters of male abusers claim to have been raped as children themselves they often use that same power of their own abusers to yield power and resentment of their own children in order to feel vindicated.

According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, child neglect and physical abuse were committed by females 62% of the time while sexual abuse are predominantly male at an estimated 75% of the time. 75% of all child abuse is committed by a child’s parent while 10% by a relative and the remaining, an unrelated caretaker. Of course, the female perpetrator could be largely influenced by the fact that mothers are more much more likely to be the sole caregivers.

So far, statistics are not available as to how many mothers act as accomplices to crimes, violence and murder of their own children. I believe this is an area of research that needs to be explored as more and more mothers are left with blood on their hands. The child abuse rate continues to rise in this country and some alarming statistics that include 4 child deaths/murders at the hands of abuse, every single day.

And where are all the caring mothers in these cases? Well, they just might be completely aware and agreeable to the abuse or they just might be the perpetrator themselves. Under the rule of law, they must be held just as accountable as male perpetrators and society must keep a watchful eye out for the most innocent of all people – children.