FILED IN: Parenting

I’m Just Blogging My Summers Away

Where has the summer gone?

Well, I’ll tell you. Besides the fact that I’ve been busy traveling and desperately seeking some sort of part-time work that allows me to keep my stay-at-home status (if I do, you WILL be the first to know) I can’t seem to get you (yes, YOU!) out of my head.

Everywhere I go. Every time my kids do something funny and each pretty new flower, or heirloom tomato I see, or haven’t manage to kill… yet… I want to blog about it!

Still.

If only I spent half-as-much time on remaining as low-tech, as possible… well, you know… then, perhaps we (meaning, the kids and I) would NOT take these last days of summer, or my badly neglected toe nails in desperate need of polishing, for granted.

“I just got a text-message from So-and-So…FROM CANADA!”

Okay, I did say, “as low-tech, as possible,” didn’t I?

“Last year, they spent the end of summer…IN HAWAII!”

Ugh. My poor kids. Here we go with the “we never do anything,” and “when ARE we going to Disney, anyway?

 “Yeah, but we went to…um…”

Nope, that was ONLY me.

 “…and how about…uh…”

Nuh-uh, that trip was just me and my husband, Garth (not his real name) too.

“So, we have…A POOL!”

Granted, it is an above ground – unlike, the coolness that is my 12-year-old’s best friend’s in ground… that I had to literally drag my kids away from… kicking AND screaming… did I mention… it’s HEATED – but, still.

 “Look, go ahead and call What’s-her-Face and see if she can sleepover.”

Clearly, I’m a mother who can’t afford to spend anymore time on guilt and what’s one more, anyway?

“I’ve been meaning to have her parents over for dinner, anyway.”

Besides, it was supposed to be a gorgeous weekend and we haven’t had any adult contact (outside of immediate family) in… um… what month is it, again?

“So, what have you guys been up to this summer!”

Thing Two and What’s-her-Face met in kindergarten, her mother became their girl scout leader, the dad was their soccer coach and – after a few mommy play dates, together – it was only a matter of time, before both our families started seeing even more of each other, socially, and swapping stories of, you know, dork-like proportions!

“Well, I was threatened at knife-point, thought that someone had shot our cat and nearly electrocuted myself, again!”

Okay, they WERE mostly about me and – even though, school was starting soon – everyone thought that it was perhaps… for the best.

“Is Thing Two playing soccer, this year?”

I felt my eyes go wide and must have looked sort of, confused.

“Ummm… I’m not sure.”

Along with the half-a-dozen other clubs she’s thinking about joining, oh and there’s field hockey, choir and the school play!

“But, I figure our weekends will be busy enough with taking Mini-me and The Boy to their games!”

Thank goodness my oldest girl (she’s 14) does NOT do sports and is pretty good about helping man…I mean, mom…the soccer fields.

“In fact, The Boy had his first soccer practice on Friday and he was a bit disappointed to learn that he does NOT know one player on his team!”

Except for one other kid, his entire team was a grade behind and looked so much, I don’t know, smaller!

“On the one hand, he was much quicker…seemed a lot less clumsy with the ball…challenged the defense, this time and actually managed to get a few…GOALS!”

On the other hand.

“C’mon…what are you waiting for…take the ball away from him, already!?!?”

I stopped picking at my toe nails long enough to look up and see this kid’s mom nearly lose a boob over my son’s new found soccer skillz…really…she was jumping up and down THAT much!

“It’s all about you, bay-bee!”

Seeing as the coach told him to, you know, PASS it to my son and soccer is a team sport and everything.

“It’s all yours now…SHOOT IT!”

The kid does, gets the goal and my son is NOT pleased.

“So, then what did you do?”

My friend already knows, as most of you will soon learn, that I don’t take too kindly to parents who insist on getting involved in their kid’s business, especially along the side lines.

“I simply got up, wiped the grass from off of my butt and walked away.”

Silence.

“I mean, it was only practice!”

Nothing, but the sound of crickets chirping.

“Okay…so, maybe I said that people like her, give soccer moms like us, a bad name…out loud…and I may have mentioned it to The Boy, so what?”

Besides, my kids put up with a lot of crap – having to live with me and all – and it’s not like I’m trying to raise a bunch of jerks, or anything. Truth be told, I’m really getting tired of feeling clumsy AND stupid – especially, around other parents.

“But, I’m just not going to enable bad mommy behavior…anymore!”

As an exclamation point, I gave my friend a quick nod, got up to turn the meat on the grill, tripped over one of the chairs – you know, the one I did NOT see behind me – and promptly… fell… flat… on… my… face.

“That’s enough wine…FOR LIZ!”

Thanks – you see, I do NOT like to take things for granted – like, rubbing my knee and watching it bruise, as we speak, but glad that I chose to wear a LONG skirt.

“Good luck with that!”

I’ve decided to make a concerted effort to make sure that my kids and I enjoy spending the last days of our summer vacation visiting with friends and family.

“Yeah, you’re right, I’ll get you a refill.”

You see, they have learned to accept me for all of my clumsiness.

“In fact, I’d better pour myself another glass…just in case!”

And have grown accustomed to my dork-like behavior.

“Here’s to us and to a happy end of summer vacation!”

With 4 kids, attending 4 different schools – yes, in the same town where we live – this IS the year that just may very well kill me.

“So…um…which school newsletter are you in charge of, again?”

[blank stare]

If, I don’t die of embarrassment first… of course.

“I’m sure someone will figure it out… when I don’t show up…  and then let me know, soon!”

Makes for good blog fodder, though!