Articles labeled: douche of the day

Congratulations, Lisa Schuchard, of Omaha, Nebraska, you’re our Douche of the Day™! Not only do you seem to wake and bake on a regular basis while taking care of your kid, but you also taught your daughter how to smoke pot. The little detail that clinched your award? Your child is only 4 years old!

Police say a 4-year-old girl demonstrated to them how to smoke marijuana from a joint, a pipe and a bong — and learned the techniques from her mother.

The mother, 25-year-old Lisa Schuchard, is charged with child abuse and could lose her daughter after being accused of teaching and encouraging the girl to smoke.

Her attorney, Douglas County Assistant Public Defender Doug Johnson, said he would not comment because he hadn’t talked to Schuchard in depth.

Authorities say Child Protective Services received a complaint that the 4-year-old and a 2-year-old son of Schuchard were dirty and living in a filthy home that had drug paraphernalia around.

Once again, give a big round of applause to Lisa Schuchard, Minor Topics’ Douche of the Day™!

Congratulations, Larry Patterson of Orlando, Florida, you’re our Douche of the Day™! You would not be douche award worthy if you were only driving around with your kid in a stolen vehicle. No, you excelled by then getting into a high speed chase with police, crashing the car, then running off leaving your baby in the backseat! And then, to make you the clear cut winner, the infant wasn’t even strapped in properly!

Orlando Police attempted to pull over Larry Patterson in downtown Orlando Wednesday night. But as they did so, Patterson sped away, running a red light and crashing into another car.

After the accident, Patterson left his car and ran away on foot. Police discovered Patterson’s infant daughter near the car’s back windshield, where she had landed after the accident propelled her out of her car seat.

The baby’s injuries are not life-threatening. Police report her mother came to the scene shortly afterward to be with her child.

Larry Patterson, ladies and gentlemen, Minor Topics’ Douche of the Day™!

Congratulations Jeremy Smith, of Somerset, Pennsylvania, you’re our “Douche of the Day”!

Smith, 31, has probably been a douche his entire adult life, but there’s one recent act that compelled us to bestow him with this coveted title — he beat up an 11-year-old baby! During an altercation with the child’s grandmother, Smith managed to fracture the baby’s arm, leg, skull and nose. He’s been sitting in jail since New Year’s Day for the assault on the woman, but the child’s injuries were just discovered when the infant was brought to the hospital for a different medical issue.

So, for beating up babies and grandmothers, give a hand to Jeremy Smith — Minor Topic’s “Douche of the Day”!

Wow, this guy must have one giant set of balls. Tomas Delgado, a businessman in Spain, was doing nearly 100 m.p.h. in a 55 m.p.h. zone when he struck and killed Enaitz Iriondo, 17, who cycled in front of Delgado’s path. It was after dark, and since Iriondo wasn’t wearing reflective clothing or a helmet, Delgado escaped any sort of jail time when the judge ruled both parties at fault. But while most would count their blessings and try to move on with their life, this douche decides to sue the dead boy’s parents for the damage to his car:

Delgado, whose insurance company paid Iriondo’s parents $48,500 in compensation for their son’s life, filed a suit in late 2006 to recover $29,400 in damages to his car and car rental costs, the ministry traffic report said.

“It’s the only way I have to claim my money back,” Delgado was quoted as saying by the newspaper El Pais, which first reported the story on Friday. El Pais said a ruling was expected next week.

Iriondo’s parents were shocked.

“It’s the final straw, a stab in the back,” Iriondo’s mother, Rosa Trinidad said, according to El Pais. “Before the lawsuit we thought the poor guy would find it hard to live the rest of his life with the thought of having caused our son’s death.