Dumbass Awards

What we don’t get when we hear these kinds of stories, is why the parents thought that nobody would notice a small child alone in a car while you shop at the mall. And on top of it, these knuckleheads didn’t even bother to lock the doors!

Authorities say the boy’s mother, 20-year-old Mauriel Mercado, and her boyfriend, 22-year-old Derek Garcia, left the toddler Friday evening outside the Arden Fair Mall.

Mall security officials say the toddler was spotted by passers-by after he set off the car alarm. One mall customer retrieved the toddler from the unlocked car.

Steve Reed, head of security at the mall, says the car’s windows were up and the child was sweating and looked frightened.

Maybe these 2 need some sweaty, frightening solitary confinement so they’ll know how the kid felt.

OK, we realize there were perhaps extenuating circumstances, but here’s our parenting tip of the day: it’s usually not a good idea to leave your children alone in a car by the side of the road.

An infant and a 1-year-old were left alone in a car Wednesday morning when their mother went to get gas, Fort Worth police said.

Latesha Cummings, 20, of Fort Worth, left her children in the car around 8 a.m. when she ran out of gas in the 1400 block of Bridgewood Drive, police said.

Witnesses called police who arrived to find the 1-month old strapped in a car seat and the toddler standing on the front seat playing with the steering wheel, Fort Worth police Lt. Paul Henderson said.

What a bunch of hose-heads….

COMMERCE CITY, Colo. — A couple fighting about which gang their 4-year-old toddler should join caused a public disturbance that resulted in the father’s arrest, Commerce City police said Thursday.

On Saturday, Joseph Manzanares stormed into the Hollywood Video store where his girlfriend worked, threatened to kill her and knocked over several video displays and even a computer, Commerce City police Sgt. Joe Sandoval said.

After he ran out of the store, police were called and the 19-year-old was arrested at his home.

His girlfriend told police that they had been arguing about the upbringing of their son and which gang he should belong to.

I would hesitate to suggest that Granny was actually babysitting or watching the tots as one of them (or several of them), ages 1 - 4, were allowed enough unsupervised time to stick aerosol cans in an oven which exploded.

Where was Granny???

Unfortunatley, Granny did get hurt during the explosion.

Pompano Beach - A 54-year-old grandmother was hospitalized after the children she was babysitting put aerosol spray cans into an oven, causing the appliance to explode and burn her, authorities said Monday.

The explosion happened Saturday in an apartment in the 100 block of Southwest 8th Street about 7:25 p.m., Pompano Beach city spokeswoman Sandra King said. The woman was babysitting five children, ages 1 to 4. Three of them were her grandchildren. One of the children put two aerosol spray cans into the oven, King said..

You know, when we were 14 we took our dad’s car out for a little joy ride while he and our mom were working late hours. Little did we know that the gas gauge was broken, and we ran out of gas on the side of the highway. Boy, was *that* ever an awkward phone call. Moral of the story, kids, nothing good comes from messing around with a car before you get your license.

An 11-year-old girl is in some hot water [Ed. note: was the pool heated?] after she sent her grandmother’s car plunging into a swimming pool at Kingston Village apartments in southwest Shreveport.

Margaret Gober said she was in her apartment when she heard a commotion outside. Her grandson screamed, Gober went to the door and saw her car in the pool, with her granddaughter Dineshia inside.

The girl can’t swim so her grandmother and an apartment complex employee helped her to safety. No injuries were reported.

A birthday party turned into a “birthday melee” (sweet) when a mom decided to put the beat down on another mom whose kid wouldn’t share a video game. Hilarity ensued.

A child’s birthday party at a Chuck E. Cheese restaurant in Massachusetts was cut short when a fight broke out between two mothers.

The mother of the 9-year-old birthday boy apparently became enraged because the other woman’s son was “hogging” an arcade game, Natick, Mass., police said.

Catherine Aliaga, 38, and Tarsha Williams, 33, both of Boston, will be summoned into court to answer charges of simple assault and battery stemming from the scuffle, Sgt. Paul Thompson said.

Thompson told the MetroWest Daily News that police received a number of 911 calls about the fight Saturday night.

Congratulations, Lisa Schuchard, of Omaha, Nebraska, you’re our Douche of the Day™! Not only do you seem to wake and bake on a regular basis while taking care of your kid, but you also taught your daughter how to smoke pot. The little detail that clinched your award? Your child is only 4 years old!

Police say a 4-year-old girl demonstrated to them how to smoke marijuana from a joint, a pipe and a bong — and learned the techniques from her mother.

The mother, 25-year-old Lisa Schuchard, is charged with child abuse and could lose her daughter after being accused of teaching and encouraging the girl to smoke.

Her attorney, Douglas County Assistant Public Defender Doug Johnson, said he would not comment because he hadn’t talked to Schuchard in depth.

Authorities say Child Protective Services received a complaint that the 4-year-old and a 2-year-old son of Schuchard were dirty and living in a filthy home that had drug paraphernalia around.

Once again, give a big round of applause to Lisa Schuchard, Minor Topics’ Douche of the Day™!

This is why drugs, alcohol and hillbillies don’t mix…

CAMPBELLSBURG, Ky. — A man who police said passed out intoxicated on top of his grandson has been charged with reckless homicide in the boy’s death.

Donna Marie Cull, the child’s grandmother, said when 2-month-old Xavian Cull was born, he spent 11 days in the NICU with a heart valve defect. He had two blood transfusions and survived.

Cull and her husband, David Cull, had custody of Xavian and his 5-year-old half-sister.

Congratulations, Larry Patterson of Orlando, Florida, you’re our Douche of the Day™! You would not be douche award worthy if you were only driving around with your kid in a stolen vehicle. No, you excelled by then getting into a high speed chase with police, crashing the car, then running off leaving your baby in the backseat! And then, to make you the clear cut winner, the infant wasn’t even strapped in properly!

Orlando Police attempted to pull over Larry Patterson in downtown Orlando Wednesday night. But as they did so, Patterson sped away, running a red light and crashing into another car.

After the accident, Patterson left his car and ran away on foot. Police discovered Patterson’s infant daughter near the car’s back windshield, where she had landed after the accident propelled her out of her car seat.

The baby’s injuries are not life-threatening. Police report her mother came to the scene shortly afterward to be with her child.

Larry Patterson, ladies and gentlemen, Minor Topics’ Douche of the Day™!

Note to self: Do not hire Joshua White to babysit.

DECATUR, Ga. — Police have arrested a man after the boy he was watching apparently shot himself by accident.

Joshua White was baby-sitting his girlfriend’s 3-year-old son Monday and called 911 after the boy was wounded, DeKalb County police spokesman J.T. Ware said.

The boy was shot above the eye but is expected to survive, Ware said. Police believe the boy shot himself using White’s gun, Ware said.

Police believe a mother was too ashamed to own up to mistake but given that she already had warrants for her arrest, Minor Topics isn’t so quick to buy it.

ST. LOUIS — Police still want to know why a 3-year-old boy was left alone at a suburban St. Louis shopping mall over the weekend. But by Monday, the child’s mother was still refusing to show up and talk with officers.

The boy was discovered by employees around 8:30 p.m. Saturday at NASCAR SpeedPark in the St. Louis Mills mall in Hazelwood, not long before the mall was to close. Mall security searched the area, seeking a parent or guardian but couldn’t locate one. They notified Hazelwood police around 9:15 p.m.

Wait, is this 2008 or 1958? A manager at an Abercrombie & Fitch store in Virginia Beach, Virginia has been issued an obscenity citation for poisoning the minds of poor, innocent Virginia teenagers. The cops sprung into action when they received complaints about two large ads in the store — one that showed about an inch of ass crack peeking out from the top of a man’s jeans, and another that featured a woman displaying a bit of side boob. Shocking! And probably showing less than you would see down at the city’s namesake ocean front.

City code makes it a crime to display “obscene materials in a business that is open to juveniles,” Bernstein said.

Bernstein said police charged the manager because there is no legal way to issue a summons to a corporate entity in such circumstances. If convicted, the manager faces a fine of up to $2,000 and as much as a year in jail.

The manager declined to comment, saying that he was waiting for guidance from corporate officials at the New Albany, Ohio-based retailer. A telephone message left for an Abercrombie spokeswoman Sunday night was not immediately returned.

We’ve all periodically read stories about a mom leaving her kids home alone while she goes off for the weekend with her boyfriend or whatever, but this must set some sort of record. A Houston mom apparently decided that her 16-year-old was old enough to babysit her other five children, ranging in age from 1 to 15, so she left on a little jaunt — FOR A MONTH TO NIGERIA. What, was she following up on one of those lottery winning emails?

When she left for Nigeria on Dec. 31, [Shanell Monique] Mosley told her 15-year-old daughter she would return in a month, child welfare officials said.

Prosecutor John Jordan said Mosley’s six children, now in foster homes, were starving and her older children couldn’t recall their own birth dates.

Mosley’s children are ages 1, 7, 8, 9, 15 and 16, Jordan said. The other two children found in the home were 3- and 4-year-olds the family cared for on behalf of a single father who worked, Jordan said.

The 9-year-old son told authorities he and the baby ate a still-frozen pizza for breakfast the morning they were discovered home alone. There were no diapers, baby food or formula for the infant, no sheets on beds and fruit was rotting in a basket, Jordan said.

And who was this dad that dropped his kids off at this daycare from hell? He didn’t notice something was a bit off? “Oh, well, got to go to work!”

Mosley was arrested when she returned this past Monday and charged with child endangerment and child abandonment.

Wow, this guy must have one giant set of balls. Tomas Delgado, a businessman in Spain, was doing nearly 100 m.p.h. in a 55 m.p.h. zone when he struck and killed Enaitz Iriondo, 17, who cycled in front of Delgado’s path. It was after dark, and since Iriondo wasn’t wearing reflective clothing or a helmet, Delgado escaped any sort of jail time when the judge ruled both parties at fault. But while most would count their blessings and try to move on with their life, this douche decides to sue the dead boy’s parents for the damage to his car:

Delgado, whose insurance company paid Iriondo’s parents $48,500 in compensation for their son’s life, filed a suit in late 2006 to recover $29,400 in damages to his car and car rental costs, the ministry traffic report said.

“It’s the only way I have to claim my money back,” Delgado was quoted as saying by the newspaper El Pais, which first reported the story on Friday. El Pais said a ruling was expected next week.

Iriondo’s parents were shocked.

“It’s the final straw, a stab in the back,” Iriondo’s mother, Rosa Trinidad said, according to El Pais. “Before the lawsuit we thought the poor guy would find it hard to live the rest of his life with the thought of having caused our son’s death.

A behavior teacher perpetuating the stereo-type that those who can’t — teach, was wrestling with a middle school student and proceeded to break the student’s finger as the teacher called for submission. The principal is citing horse play while the parents are implying a lawsuit.

CLOVERDALE, Ind. — A Cloverdale Middle School anger-management teacher resigned after he broke a student’s finger during what began as horseplay, school officials said.

Scott Porter recently broke an index finger of Jordan Mundy (pictured) as they were wrestling each other during an anger-management class, Jordan and the school’s principal said.