Oh, joy, the moment we’ve been waiting for is almost finally here. All right, so we weren’t waiting for it. Actually, we had even forgotten she was pregnant. Can she perhaps stop with the kids now? Poor Brad is getting gray hairs in his goatee, for chrissakes.

Brangelina’s twins aren’t here yet, but the big day is drawing closer. The seafront Lenval hospital in Nice in the south of France said Tuesday that Angelina Jolie had checked in at its Santa Maria maternity clinic to be kept under doctors’ surveillance and get some rest before she gives birth.

“There’s no urgency. It’s been planned for a long time,” said Nadine Bauer, a hospital spokeswoman. “She’s very well. Everything is fine.”

“She is not on the verge of giving birth, not at all,” she said. “It’s not for right away.”

The 33-year-old actress will almost certainly remain in the hospital until she gives birth, Bauer said. She said Jolie was admitted recently but would not say exactly when.

We’ve entered a downward spiral when a student can write a two word expletive on an exam, and get something other than a big fat zero.

A British high school student received credit for writing nothing but a two-word obscenity on an exam paper because the phrase expressed meaning and was spelled correctly.

The Times newspaper on Monday quoted examiner Peter Buckroyd as saying he gave the student — who wrote an expletive starting with f, followed by the word “off” — two points out of a possible 27 for the English paper.

“It would be wicked to give it zero because it does show some very basic skills we are looking for, like conveying some meaning and some spelling,” Buckroyd was quoted as saying.

“It’s better than someone that doesn’t write anything at all.”

Buckroyd said the student would have received a higher mark if the phrase had been punctuated.

You have got to be kidding.

A teenager who became stuck after “cave exploring” was finally rescued after 6 hours. Note to self: talk to the kids about avoiding things like “cave exploring”.

Police say the girl fell into a narrow area at about 7 p.m. Monday in what is known as the False Cliff Cave near the Dorset-Danby town line.

As part of the rescue effort, officials had to divert a stream flowing into the cave.

Police didn’t have the condition of the victim, but say she was stable and alert when brought out of the cave at about 1 a.m. Tuesday.

Police have turned their attention to the uncle of missing 12-year-old Brooke Bennett, a registered sex offender who is being charged with sexually assaulting another girl.

The alleged victim of the sex assaults, a relative of [Michael] Jacques, told police Jacques assaulted her during a five-year period, beginning when she was 9 years old and ending a few weeks ago, Orange County State’s Attorney Will Porter said.

Meanwhile, Jacques, pronounced “Jakes,” was being described as “a person of interest” in last Wednesday’s disappearance of Bennett. Col. James Baker, commander of the Vermont State Police, said investigators narrowed their probe and began focusing on Jacques based on information developed late Saturday and early Sunday through computer forensics.

A little sting from a bee would definitely been a better alternative than to what happened.

Madison County Sheriff David Woolfork said his department believes the death of 4-month-old Kaejae Mahlik Dashon Duckworth was accidental.

The boy’s father, Donovan Fields, told deputies he was trying to avoid a bee near his home in Beech Bluff on Saturday when the infant fell from his hands.

The baby lived with his mother in Jackson.

A sheriff’s deputy in Jackson County, Illinois is being applauded for rescuing an infant after the car the baby was in crashed into the Big Muddy River. And may we say, if you’re going to drive your car into a river, “big” and “muddy” aren’t exactly adjectives you want to hear.

Four women and an infant received minor injuries in that crash, but officials believe it could have been much worse if Deputy Brandon Craig hadn’t been there to help.

Craig was stationed in East Cape Girardeau Saturday night, observing drivers and making sure folks were obeying the speed limit.

Craig says he turned on his siren to stop a speeder that came in from Missouri, but the driver took off, taking Craig on a chase that would end in Jackson County at the Big Muddy.

A judge is cracking down on Washington’s Department of Social and Health Services, giving them one month to comply with a class action lawsuit settlement from 4 years ago.

Whatcom County Superior Court Judge Charles R. Snyder said the state has made plenty of promises to closely monitor the health and well-being of children in its care, but has failed to keep those promises.

“I’m not asking,” he said. “I’m ordering.”

The ruling, unexpected after Monday’s lengthy hearing, requires the state to find ways to make monthly visits to foster children, to get them prompt health screenings, to ensure that they see their siblings regularly and to keep caseloads at a level where this is possible.

OK, this is just some depraved shit. Police found a woman in Kennewick, Washington whose feet and hands had been bound with yarn, she was fatally stabbed multiple times in the chest, and her almost full-term baby was cut out of her.

A 23-year-old Kennewick woman, Phiengchai Sisouvanh Synhavong, has been arrested for investigation of first-degree murder and is accused of trying to pass the infant boy off as her own in calls made late Friday night to emergency dispatchers. She was being held without bail Monday, with another court appearance scheduled Wednesday.

Court documents say blue mechanic’s gloves soaked in blood, a box cutter, bloody paper towels, yarn, a mucus bulb, baby bottle and baby socks were among some of the items found in Sisouvanh Synhavong’s purse.

They didn’t say whether the boxcutter was used to cut or stab Gomez and police refused to discuss details Monday.

Two girls were riding an ATV when it plunged over a cliff. One girl died, and the other was seriously injured.

Two girls were on a four-wheeler when it fell off a 30-foot cliff into Pleasant Creek in Sanpete County Saturday. Both of the girls became trapped underneath the vehicle when it fell into the water. One of the girls was able to free herself, and was later taken to the Sanpate Valley Hospital in serious condition. The other girl, 17, was washed down the stream and did not survive the accident, according to Sanpete County Sheriff’s deputies. Her body reportedly was found Sunday.

After her 2-year-old was found alone on the streets at 2 a.m., a woman was charged with felony child neglect.

Nicole Lynn Brewington, 21, of Harbor Lane was charged then released by a magistrate on a promise to appear in court, according to a police news release.

A resident in the area found the little girl wandering about 2:15 a.m. in the area near 17th Street and Jefferson Avenue and called 911, said Lou Thurston, police spokesman. The resident stayed with the child until officers arrived.

After 11 infants contracted pertussis from being in contact with a health care worker who carried the illness, medical professionals are urging adolescents and adults to be vaccinated.

“We think it’s very important that people do everything to prevent pertussis in infants, and this means immunizing teens, adults, parents of infants and people who are taking care of infants. It means immunizing health care workers,” said Don Murphey, MD, lead author of the paper outlining the incident published in the June 6 Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report. He is also the medical director of occupational health at Cook Children’s Medical Center in Ft. Worth, Texas. The infants were infected at another hospital in the community.

We’ve heard of home deliveries, but never Dodge Caravan deliveries.

John and Rebecca Wendorf of Oostburg were on their way to Aurora Sheboygan Memorial Medical Center Sunday night, but Rebecca’s contractions became too intense so they pulled over and called 911.

John Wendorf says they had little choice in where their baby was going to be born because she was on the way, like it or not.

The 5-pound, 7-ounce newborn arrived in the parking lot of Muth Mirror Systems in Sheboygan.

A new procedure that claims to use genetic screening to determine if infants will be cancer free in life is raising some doubts.

But the claim, NBC medical editor Dr. Nancy Snyderman told TODAY’s Meredith Vieira Monday, is misleading at best. And the screening that was done does not guarantee the child will not get cancer.

“I don’t think ‘guarantee’ is ever smart in medicine,” Snyderman said. She pointed out that the unidentified woman and her husband had used medical science to screen 11 embryos fertilized via the in vitro process for the presence of one gene, called BRCA-1. That gene had triggered breast cancer in the husband’s grandmother, mother, sister and cousin. Women who carry either the BRCA-1 or BRCA-2 gene have a 50 to 80 percent chance of developing breast cancer, usually at a young age.

Kimberly Trenor, the woman who beat her daughter Riley — known as “Baby Grace” — to death has given birth to a son while behind bars. The court is now trying to decide who gets custody of the child. Amazingly, the father of the boy, Royce Clyde Zeigler — also indicted in Riley’s murder, is refusing to relinquish his parental rights to the baby. Hey, you did that the moment you laid your hands on that little girl, you piece of shit.

Child Protective Services, which assumed emergency custody of the newborn Friday morning, must now ask a judge to revoke Zeigler’s parental rights at a hearing Monday in Houston, said Estella Olguin, a CPS spokeswoman.

The [adoptive] couple in Dallas have already undergone background checks, Olguin said, and CPS would attempt to interview them before Monday’s hearing so they can take immediate custody if the judge so orders.

If the judge does not end Zeigler’s parental rights, the child will be placed in foster care, she said. The judge could assign a child advocate to recommend the child’s best interest, Olguin said.

CPS would not have been involved had Zeigler signed the adoption papers, Olguin said.

A manager at Lloyds TSB bank in the U.K. had a “brilliant” marketing idea — send debit cards to kids as young as 11 years old. The real kicker is that they sent the cards without notifying parents or asking for their permission.

Politicians and debt groups are up in arms, with Vince Cable, the Lib Dem’s Treasury spokesman, quoted as regarding the move as “deeply dispiriting”.

It isn’t so much that children should not in any circumstances be allowed a Visa card. The crux of the issue is that Lloyds TSB has been sending out cards without informing the parents or guardians of the children.

Lloyds TSB’s excuse is that it can’t be sure of the addresses of the parents or guardians - last week it told me that they won’t necessarily have an account with them and so it won’t always have their contact details.