All of While Mom's @ Work :
When Duty Calls
I had jury duty last week. Once upon a time, being a stay-at-home parent excused you from this activity, but a year ago the courts decided that the twelve bucks they pay you for each day of service would pay for adequate childcare. Apparently, none of those people had children.
I wanted... read more
It's A Wonder I Made It Out Of Middle School Alive
Parents across the nation, rejoice! School is almost back in session!
While I look forward to this special time of the year, it's not because my kids are heading back to school. I'm not one of those parents that counts down the days until summer vacation ends. I actually like spending... read more
So I Answered an Axe Murderer
I have long maintained that I attract psychopaths (present company excluded, of course). I have dealt with strange people coming up to me my entire life, wanting to talk to me, befriend me, and worse. It happens so often that it sometimes seems like they've been traveling their whole lives, waiting for... read more
Are We There Yet?
Every summer, we load up the family and drive two hundred miles to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. While we should be able to make this trip in less than four hours under normal driving conditions, it takes us anywhere from four to six hours depending on traffic, my sanity, and the capacity of our bladders.... read more
The Napkin of Shame
I guess I was about thirteen years old when I discovered my parents had made a drastic change: they had morphed from loving, doting parents to aliens who had traded in their plans for world domination for a complex scheme to fully embarrass me every time we ventured forth together in public. I figured... read more
I have read a lot in the press lately about mothers and fathers becoming stay-at-home parents because they have lost their jobs due to the poor economy. But what about us stay-at-home parents who are going back to work part-time in order to make up for our spouses' cut in pay? I want my New York Times... read more
It's Not You, It's Me
If you were asked to name the biggest problem facing today's parents, what would you say? Would you go with overcrowded classrooms, bullies, environmental concerns, sexual predators, or something along those lines? Not me.
While I believe these are all valid concerns, I feel the biggest... read more
More Carrie Than Cinderella
I'm the type of guy who suffers from romantic visions. As an important or anticipated event nears, I play the entire thing out in my mind, each time with grander details and results. Because of this, I'm usually disappointed with the actual event.
My daughter, Zoey, and I attended our very... read more
Dear President Obama
Dear President Obama,
First of all, please allow me to offer my congratulations. You're getting the keys to the White House!
I am quite envious of you. If I were elected President, I would probably spend the first month or so just jerking around. I would take pictures of... read more
The Worst Christmas Ever
Seven years ago on Christmas Eve morn, Ella and I were busy packing for a visit to her parents' home when she excitedly said, "I think I'm late!" We had only started trying, so I was skeptical that we would conceive so quickly.
We dropped what we were doing and rushed out and... read more
Too Fast, Too Soon
I was thirty-two when my wife gave birth to our first child. In the months before our daughter's arrival, I performed numerous calculations and scenarios in my head: I will be forty-eight when she receives her driver's license, fifty when she graduates high school, ninety-eight when she has sex for... read more
You Can Have Fun On Halloween Without A Haunted Garage
Halloween has always been my favorite holiday. As a child, I loved spending the night trying to snag as much candy as humanly possible. Once I even tried to create my own Haunted Forest, but that was a total bust because no one showed up. As I grew older, the emphasis shifted away from the treats and... read more
The Secret Life Of A Stay-At-Home Dad: Deadbeat, Invalid, And Lothario
"It always makes me happy to have both parents present at our open house," our daughter's kindergarten teacher told us last year. "We rarely see many dads at these functions."
"Actually," my wife began, "you'll probably see him more often than... read more