It’s Hot. It’s Tired. It’s Summer.

By Rachael Brownell

Read more: rugrat reprieve, me time, parenting advice

Let’s say (hypothetically) that your kids are bored, hot, and eating too much junk food and watching too much television this Summer. You’ve used all your vacation time and don’t have the money to take time off of work to go to the beach, much less schedule a spa day or create a man basket. And let’s not even get started talking about sex, bikinis, or air conditioning, shall we?

As a visitor to my home observed recently, “Wow. You never sit down. You must really be tired at the end of the day!” Helpful.

If you are a parent who is tapped out by the end of the day, when your time in the shower is often your daily high point, when you find your jaw clenched so tightly you can barely open it to fit in that cookie dough, here are some quick and easy tips for forcing the little buggers to give you a break in the daily run of things:

Never underestimate the power of a locked door. If you lock the door while you, say, use the facilities, they may pound, they may cry, but you will be safe from paws for a short while.
Ablutions bring peace. Bathing is often a missed opportunity for parental peace and quiet. Why not switch your daily ablutions to the evening hours? Leave your kids with the spouse, and lock that bathroom door and take your sweet ass time in there.
Simple tasks prolonged. Take a few of the tasks that you do around the house and streeeeetch them out. Laundry in the laundry room? Stay in there. Lock the door. Take out the garbage? Stand outside and breathe the (hopefully) fresh air. Watch the neighbors and try and guess who had sex last night.
Make them do for themselves. This is often a huge missed opportunity. As soon as the little ones are old enough to hold a spoon, take the time to teach them to help. Help clean up, make sandwiches, get themselves dressed, wipe their own asses. It’s an investment of time and energy that will pay-off in spades.
Go to work early. Leave for work a few minutes early to snag yourself some quality time with coffee at your local spot.
Stop off for a quick one on your way home. A drink! I mean a drink! This traditionally male activity (remember Archie Bunker?) was practiced for a reason. After a long day of work, stopping for a minute to catch your breathe and quaff some suds helps reentry happen more smoothly.

And the best tip of all? Try and make parenting fun. Like chasing an oiled pig, you can’t force the matter, but by easing up, laughing more, and trying to view the small ones as troublesome elves come to haunt you for 18 years, you might feel less exhausted. And if that seems utterly impossible, it’s definitely time for a serious no-children allowed vacation.

Rachael Brownell is the author of Mommy Doesn't Drink Here Anymore (Conari Press, 2009). A former contributor at Babble.com (which put Rugrat Reprieve on their Top 50 Mommy Bloggers list), she writes, edits, and raises children in the beautiful and blessedly cloudy Pacific NW. She spends time in between yoga classes shuttling kids and cleaning the kitchen. You can find out more about her and her Bikram journey at RachaelBrownell.com.

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