It seems at least part of the mystery of the massive pet food recall last week has been solved. Menu Foods, which recalled 60 million cans and pouches of pet food produced under such popular labels as Iams, Eukanuba, and Wal-Mart’s house brand, announced that the cause of 16 confirmed pet deaths seems to be rat poison. That’s right, not some strange mysterious bacteria, but RAT FREAKIN’ POISON. Current speculation is that large amounts of the stuff was on imported wheat used to manufacture the food. What the hell? Don’t they wash that shit?

In other news, the owner of the boutique pet shop down the street from us just bought a new BMW with all the loot she’s raking in selling her fresh and organic $30 pet food.

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