Share your knowledge and make money doing it -- become an Imperfect Parent Tipster today! Apply here
Subscribe to our feedFollow us on TwitterFind us on Facebook

Home -> Columnists -> Mominatrix

Mominatrix

How to have a sexy Thanksgiving

By Kristen Chase

Read more: thanksgiving, sex, mominatirx


So you might have thought that Thanksgiving is not the sexiest of holidays, and you're probably right. Between family hovering over you, huge amounts of food rolling around in your belly, and the day long football fest, the last thing on your mind is probably sex.

But considering the message of Thanksgiving is all about "giving thanks," what better time to show your appreciation in the bedroom. Besides, it'll give you something to look forward to while you're trying not to kill your in-laws.

  1. Give thanks in the bedroom.

    Chances are you're thankful for the same things every year -- your health, your family, your 17-inch dildo. Hmm, well, this year, show your thanks in the bedroom instead. Sure, the idea of getting it on with family around might not seem that appealing, but the combination of turkey and a series of parades and holiday movies should have your guests completely mesmerized. Sneak off for a quickie while they're all engrossed by the A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving. Just make sure to leave out plenty of leftovers in case they get hungry.
  2. Recreate the first Thanksgiving

    Given the historical nature of this holiday, what better way to celebrate than to reenact the first Thanksgiving. Well, sort of. Snag a sexy pilgrim outfit and a "Native American" get-up and see if your beads are an acceptable trade.
  3. Give yourself an excuse to indulge

    When you get a hankering for another round of turkey and mashed potatoes, go for it. Sex burns calories, and if your Thanksgiving is like most of America's then you're probably slamming a few thousand in one sitting. But when you've got a sex appointment later on, then you won't have to feel guilty about taking another piece of pie.
  4. Sexify your meal

    You'd be surprised to know that many of the typical Thanksgiving foods are actually aphrodisiacs*. Play around with your menu to ensure you'll get a proper thank you later on.

    *The Mominatrix is not responsible for your in-laws doing it in your bedroom.
  5. Take advantage of the Black Friday deals

    Did you think that the big sales only applied to GPS units and Christmas sweaters? Think again. You'll find a bunch of awesome deals at various online sex shops, no waiting in line required. So now's the time to add to your vibrator collection, or stock up on goodies for dirty Santa. And don't forget to shop the Mominatrix Holiday Gift Guide, where you can score 15% off on everything at Eden Fantasys.

Have a happy and sexy Thanksgiving, everybody!




You know you have questions for the Mominatrix -- come on, don't be shy, email them to mominatrix@imperfectparent.com. Identities are kept strictly confidential.


Kristen Chase left a job as a college music professor for her current career as stay-at-home-mother of three. When she's not perusing the local adult bookstores and foot fetish websites, she maintains several weblogs, including Motherhood Uncensored, Cool Mom Picks, and Parent Bloggers Network.

Leave a comment:

Comments are automatically filtered and may not be posted immediately in an effort to remove commercial messages, irrelevancies, excessive foul language and/or personal attacks and will be edited/deleted at our discretion.
*Name:
*Email (not displayed):
URL:
*Comments: Word limit 1000 words. HTML tags are not allowed.
*Please enter the 2 words (this helps us reduce spam):
Enter two words below:
  

More Columnists:

What's the Matter With Mommy?
I'll have an eggnog. And make it a double.
By Kelley Cunningham

Not Your Average Fairy Tale
Saving Face: What to do when your girlfriend could care less about California
By Melissa Doak

Growing Pains
The Autumn Wife
By Elizabeth Thompson

Mother Magnetism
This week: Beauty tips for busy moms, brittle nails and hat head.
By Kelly Reising

The Parental is Political
Children and online safety.
By Julie Marsh

Related Articles:

Mominatrix
This dose of advice is to be taken orally.
By Kristen Chase

Mominatrix
Getting lucky.
By Kristen Chase

Not Your Average Fairy Tale
The Ghosts of Halloweens Past
By Melissa Doak

Mominatrix
Using frank language with your kids.
By Kristen Chase

The Warp Speed Of Sexuality
Sometimes living in the age of sexuality is tiring.
By Lauri Kubuitsile

Google
The Imperfect Parent Web

Home -> Columnists -> Mominatrix

Share your knowledge and make money doing it. Become an Imperfect Parent Tipster.
IMPERFECTION IN YOUR INBOX



Find your online degree

Our supporters:
Advertisement
POPULAR RIGHT NOW
 

"Try as hard as we may for perfection, the net result of our labors is an amazing variety of imperfectness. We are surprised at our own versatility in being able to fail in so many different ways." -- Samuel McChord Crothers