Mominatrix

Heal the World Through Sex Toys

By Kristen Chase
With the economy bottoming out and parents stashing their pennies under the mattress, the idea of spending money on sex toys is probably not an option. If you’re struggling to pay your mortgage and can barely afford to feed your family, a whopping dildo isn’t a purchase that’s easily rationalized.

Besides, with the way things are these days, you might already feel like you’re getting rammed by a giant fake dick, so why bother shelling out money for one?

That’s not to say that people aren’t having sex. On the contrary, it’s times like these that tend to cause a massive baby boom. With no money to expend on frivolous extra curricular activities and birth control apparently, couples are forced to engage in a little bit of good old fashioned fun. And as you’ve most likely already figured out, that can lead to babies. Sweet little babies, of course, but still. Babies. That means more mouths to feed, more butts to diaper, and more nights longing for sleep.

Okay, so you could just buy a box of condoms and go on your very merry way, flipping off the recession as you ride your spouse off into the sunset. Or at least until you collapse from exhaustion or your kids wake up.

But couples do not live on sex alone. At least, you shouldn’t, anyway. And thanks to amazing advances in sex toys, you don’t have to sell your first born to afford one. In fact, a couple of plain old human fingers can probably do the trick. And if not, you might have a bunch of items lying around the house that you can McGyver into some sort of pleasurable device.

But if you’re not so keen on being a guinea pig for a homemade vibrator, you’ll find a plethora of affordable sex toys that will help you blow off the extra steam you might have building up courtesy of these stressful times. However, if you’re clipping coupons for milk and driving slower just to conserve on gas, even a $10 vibe might seem like an unnecessary luxury. Who wants to be the parent who takes the peanut butter and jelly out of their kid’s mouth so that they can get off with the help of a battery-operated dildo?

Well now instead of taking from the mouths of babes, you can actually put food right back in all while satisfying your own desires.

At least that’s what Sex Toys for Kids lets you do.

Started by a parent who wanted to make a difference for kids in Malipampang, Phillipines, Sex Toys for Kids uses commissions from a group of popular sex shops, including Babeland (a Mominatrix fave) to help provide elementary aged children with an education. Instead of collecting donations, the site asks you to shop via their links which allows your store to track your purchase and give anywhere from 7% to 30% of it to Sex Toys for Kids.

So you shop for your favorite sex products all while helping to purchase a child’s school uniforms, meals, transportation, and medical attention (if needed). And as you might have guessed, it doesn’t take the purchase of a $500 sex swing to make a difference. A regular old $25 vibrator can give a child an education he or she might not otherwise get.

So whatever guilt you might have for spending money on your own pleasure these days is completely exonerated.

Buy a dildo. Change a child’s life.

It doesn’t get much better than that.


You know you have questions for the Mominatrix -- come on, don't be shy, email them to mominatrix@imperfectparent.com. Identities are kept strictly confidential.


Kristen Chase left a job as a college music professor for her current career as stay-at-home-mother of four. When she's not perusing the local adult bookstores and foot fetish websites, she is the publisher and CEO of Cool Mom Picks and Cool Mom Tech, and writes on her personal blog, Motherhood Uncensored, as well as various other online outlets. Her book, The Mominatrix's Guide to Sex, was published in 2010.

MORE ON THE WEB

blog comments powered by Disqus

More Columnists:

Mother Magnetism
Dealing with an unexpected short haircut and summer hair care tips.
By Kelly Reising

What's the Matter With Mommy?
Quality schmality.
By Kelley Cunningham

Home/Office
Motherhood: The New Competitive Sport
By Dana Tuszke

Mominatrix
Mominatrix Sex Toy Smackdown: Travel Vibrators
By Kristen Chase

Mother Magnetism
This week: it's all about great lashes.
By Kelly Reising

Google
The Imperfect Parent Web

Home -> Columnists -> Mominatrix

Subscribe to our feed Follow us on TwitterFind us on Facebook
 
1
"Try as hard as we may for perfection, the net result of our labors is an amazing variety of imperfectness. We are surprised at our own versatility in being able to fail in so many different ways." -- Samuel McChord Crothers