A few years ago, women were begging their men to tame their savage beast. Just because you're an animal in the bedroom doesn't mean you need to look like one. Hair doesn't necessarily belong everywhere, unless you're a gorilla. Evolution be damned, that's why God invented hot wax, Neet, and tweezers.
And so, men saw the writing on the wall. If women can find your dick, they're more likely to do something with it. They realized that their trimmer was like a veritable magnifying glass. And what was limited to metrosexuals suddenly became a man-wide phenomenon.
But like almost everything else, you can have too much of a good thing.
As one mom shared with the Mominatrix:
"My husband cannot stop manscaping. He's got less hair than me and I really don't like it. Now I'm regretting that I suggested it in the first place"
Now on the bright side, the fact that your husband actually cares enough to obsess about the finer details of his appearance is hopeful. At one point, he did respect your opinion.
Or he was just really horny.
But what has happened, unfortunately, is that a button has been pushed, and the manscaping has gone from the one head to the other one. The original sentiment of getting laid was lost in translation, and what first started as a way to please you has become a way to please himself.
And while the "I do it because I like it" attitude has its place, like in a raging feminist rock song, it never bodes well within a sexual relationship, at least if there's another living person and not a blown-up version of one.
Deep therapeutic realizations are fantastic, just not at the expense of someone else's orgasm.
So first, determine the following:
1. Has he taken up a secret competitive sport - like weight lifting, swimming, or cycling that you don't know about?
2. Does he have a medical condition rendering his temperature higher than average whereas he is desperately seeking body cooling remedies?
3. Did a naked Salma Hayek come to him in a dream and tell him that she likes hairless men?
If you answered "no" to all of the above, then the next step is to determine what benefit it's serving him that he would value it over your opinion.
1. Does he think it makes him look younger?
2. Does he think it makes him sexier?
3. Does he like how it feels?
Once you figure out what the lack of hair does for him, then you can better adjust how you respond to it, which should never be in the form of an ultimatum.
Instead, use the God-given, highly evolved powers of your vagina to bring him over to the right way of thinking.
Tell him what the thought of extra hair makes you want to do to him. Show him what you like to do to yourself when you think about him with more hair on his body. And remind him how much you'll make it worth his while if he decides to let a little hair grow in.
And if the power of your pussy isn't enough to bring him over to the light, just start talking about all the hot hairy men you'd love to suck off.
Hey, all's fair in love and hair.
What's the Matter With Mommy?
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