Earlier this week, U.S. Rep. Anthony Weiner finally admitted that he was responsible for accidentally sending the tweet photo of himself in his underpants to some poor young Seattle woman. Apparently, he thought we would all believe that he was so important that a bunch of hackers would take a break from the lucrative business of stealing identities over the Internet to send some random photo of a man in his underpants from his Twitter account.
Though really, laying claim to the "Weiner's wiener" scandal might have been worth taking a day off from a paid hacking gig.
This wasn't the first time he'd sent lewd photos to random women on the Internet, with inappropriate phone conversations and even more photos shared via Facebook and emails to various women.
It never is.
But with all the deep apologies to his (apparently pregnant) wife and his constituents (hey, what about all his Twitter followers' eyes?), there's still one big question left unanswered. And no, it's not why government servants seem to have a penchant for aberrant behavior.
Why do men think that women want to see pictures of their penis?
Rep. Weiner is just the latest in a slew of high profile men who have been caught sending picture of their genitals, in one form or another, to women, most recently quarterback Brett Favre, who sent photos of his wanger via text to model and television personality Jenn Sterger.
It's true that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but even Plato probably had a caveat that eliminated penises from that famous quote.
Most women are not turned on just by seeing a man's dick, hence why Playgirl is really for gay men and not women. Or at least women who aren't decorating for a bachelorette party.
We like the whole package. And no, not the "cock and balls" package. Try the smile, the sweet words, the Tiffany necklace.
Perhaps these men have fallen victims to misleading sex talk, where their partner moans to "see their big dick," which, let's face it boys, is more for you than it is for the women. We know it's what you want to hear and we say it because it works really well. But somehow, these men get it twisted in their heads (the ones with the actual brain, mind you) and they start to believe that women actually want to see their penises.
With all the Mars and Venus crap that's been out for years now, it should really come as no surprise that women just aren't as visually stimulated as men, or at least, by certain odd looking body parts.
A picture of a giant penis-shaped chocolate cake with absolutely no calories — maybe.
But even sexy photographs of hot celebrities aren't necessarily a turn on. And even if they are, the men are generally clothed. With a face, six-pack abs, and one heckuva tight ass.
Not just a dick.
So when we try to make some sense out of why some average looking Joe or even some once-upon-a-time hot quarterback sends pictures of quite possibly their least attractive asset (though with Weiner, it's questionable), the answer is simple: It has nothing to do with the recipient getting turned on.
It's all about turning on themselves. It's called "exhibitionism."
True exhibitionists aren't really looking to win over their conquests, or even get laid. Their flashing of body parts isn't a "mating call." Rather, they're seeking the excitement and high that comes from shocking the other person. And maybe, there's a part of them, probably that part of them, that believes women really want to see it.
So look, men, if a woman asks for a shot of you in your tighty whities or she begs for a picture of your cock, don't fool yourself. She's not looking for a little masturbatory material.
She's probably just trying to see whether you're stupid enough to do it.