These days, parents don't have to peruse the stacks of DVDs at their local sex shops or corrupt their hard drive with downloads upon downloads of porn to add a little spice to their decidedly bland bedrooms.
Sure, if you want to watch some chick get banged sideways by a few greasy guys, then you'll probably need to up your cable subscription or shell out more than a few bucks on pay-per-view.
But for the most part, all it takes is a little heavy petting, a couple of flapping tongues, and some well-timed nakedness, and your libido will get the kick start it needs.
Or what is basically one of the several HBO shows that many of you are familiar with and have grown to love over the years.
For the good writing, of course.
With hits like Sex and the City, Big Love, and now True Blood, it's no wonder that more moms and dads are getting laid, particularly on Sunday nights when the channel has a two plus hour long fest of smartly written, adult-oriented shows that, for the most part, appeal to both men and women.
That in itself is a formula they should bottle and sell.
Oh wait, they already do.
The ability for moms and dads to be able to put the kids to bed, grab a drink or seven, and kick back to Anna Paquin's bare breasts and Bill Paxton's naked ass is worth its weight in gold. And apparently that's what HBO was banking on when they launched Hung.
Cute guy + big penis = A HIT!
This half-hour dramedy, featuring the hunky Thomas Jane as "Ray" and the equally crazy Anne Heche as his ex-wife, tells the story of a high school basketball coach who, after a series of unfortunate events needs money. Badly.
And that's about where it stops being believable.
He then decides to take a class where he meets an odd, if not neurotic, woman played by Jane Adams, who ends up in bed with Ray and decides that he'd make an excellent gigolo.
WHAT?
Yeah, pretty far-fetched.
She decides to become his pimp (obviously!), and the show highlights his various hits and misses as a new-to-the-biz prostitute and hers as an inexperienced boss, intermixed with him trying to fix his burned down house and deal with his extremely odd ex-wife and bizarre looking twins.
It seems interesting at first -- an honorable basketball coach with a huge penis falling on bad times and thus needing to resort to selling his body to make ends meet.
But sadly, the prospect of actually seeing Thomas Jane have sex and possibly flash his wanker on screen is what has kept most people tuned in every Sunday night. Well, that and people accidentally watching it because they forgot what time True Blood and Entourage started.
A few shows in, you realize how stereotypical each of the characters are -- crazy wife, neurotic female friend, quirky kids -- and you start hoping that someone does something that's a bit unpredictable. And when that does happen, like Ray revealing his name and his job to a hot client who ends up showing up to one of his basketball games, it just makes the show even more unbelievable.
And not even the off-chance that you might see a penis on television is enough to keep you watching.
That being said, most people don't watch porn for the story lines, so with Ray's various sexual trysts during the long 30 minutes, you might get enough fuel to light your fire. But you'll probably get way more enjoyment checking out True Blood and using those 30 minutes to get your groove on before Entourage.
And then enjoy a little Adrian Grenier and Kevin Connelly for dessert.
You know you have questions for the Mominatrix -- come on, don't be shy, email them to mominatrix@imperfectparent.com. Identities are kept strictly confidential.
Kristen Chase left a job as a college music professor for her current career as stay-at-home-mother of four. When she's not perusing the local adult bookstores and foot fetish websites, she is the publisher and CEO of Cool Mom Picks and Cool Mom Tech, and writes on her personal blog, Motherhood Uncensored, as well as various other online outlets. Her book, The Mominatrix's Guide to Sex, was published in 2010.
