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Mominatrix Gift Guide

Mother's Day Special Edition

By Kristen Chase

We all know you don't need another cotton blend sweater, and he certainly doesn't need another tie. But every parent could probably use more sex of the very hot kind. So the Mominatrix is playing personal shopper by offering you a hand-picked selection of gifts that will definitely keep on giving.

These toys (no lead here!) and other sex-essories are sure to please every type of parent out there, from the new mom to your favorite music lover and much more. Just make sure you have plenty of plain brown wrapping paper.


For the Mama With a Potty Mouth

Sometimes you just can't take the sailor out of the mom. So why not appease her dirty mouth with a shirt from Paris-based (fancy!) Lochers like "Will Fuck for Shoes" ($87) or "No Time to Fuck" ($87). Pair it with a romantic card from Offensive and Delightful ($4.25) and a bar of Dirty Girl soap ($7.99) (to wash out her mouth).

For the New Mom

Get her out of her milk stained old nursing bra and t-shirt and into something sexy, like the Cassandra Lace Sets ($70). Or hide a copy of Porn for New Moms ($12.95) and a Discretion ($20) in a hot new diaper bag from Nest ($322.95). You just never know when the moment will hit her.


For the Eco Mama

No earth conscious mom would be caught wasting batteries on a vibe. So get her an eco-friendly rechargeable one from Blowfish ($99.95). She and the earth will thank you.

For the Music Lovin' Mama

The OhMiBod ($69) vibrator pulses to the beat of your iPod tunes, so make sure to include an iTunes Gift Card, just in case she's a die hard Neil Diamond fan. For a little extra fun, throw in the Ohmibod garter ($29).


For the Mom Who Really Needs a Vacation Away From the Kids

If you're looking to really spice things back up, then sweep her away to a Hedonism Resort. And make sure to pack a Mile High Kit ($25). It's the perfect way to get the things started.

For the Book Worm Mama

Snatch up a couple books that she will most definitely not be able to put down, from well-known sex authors like Susie Bright and Suzy Parker. Make sure to include this "Let's Hump" card ($3.50) and a pearl thong (as a bookmark).


For the Mom Who Does Not Need Any More Jewelry

No expensive diamond will provide you (or your spouse) with the pleasure from one evening (or really, five minutes) with the ultimate sex toy, The Cone (on sale! $96.75). Throw in a pearl necklace (a real one, you freaks) and she'll be screaming your name all night long.

For the Hardworking Mama

Draw a bath with some Naughty Bubbles bubble bath ($22) and set the mood with a few passion candles ($15) from Good Clean Love. And of course, don't forget a fantastic wine and a vibrating rubber ducky ($26.99).


For the Mom Who Likes Art in the Bedroom

Try a gorgeous hand sculpted glass dildo, like the Elizabethan ($299.95) or the Rose Colored Glass ($179.95) model. And rest assured, these dildos are BPA and Pthalate free.

For the Overly Organized Mama

Feed her obsession with a Sex Night Planner ($12) and a gift membership to Sitter City. Might as well use her organizational skills to your advantage.


For the DIY Mama

If she was born with the crafty gene, then she'll enjoy learning how to make her own sex toys with this book ($14.95). Just don't hold the Mominatrix responsible for any weird MacGyver role plays.

For the Dominating Mama

And no mom's wardrobe is complete without a Mominatrix t-shirt ($25). These hand-embroidered 100% cotton shirts are sure to bring out her Mominatrix within. Handcuffs and whip not included.


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