Mominatrix Father's Day Gift Guide

For all your sexy Father's Day needs

By Kristen Chase

With Dad's special day right around the corner, it's time for moms to scour the hardware stores, tie sections, and golf warehouses for that completely uninspiring Father's Day gift. So this year, skip the useless, snore-worthy crap that screams "Dad is pretty damn old and boring" and give him something that you'll both score with. Or if you've got a traditional sort of man in your life, pair them both up to make this father's day pretty darn memorable.

It may be true that all men love tools, but they're certainly not created equal. Forget the Mag-Lite flashlight for your hand-y-man and give his hands or yours a little break with the Fleshlight. No batteries required.

Snore: Mag-Lite
Score: Fleshlight

Hold the cheesy books, moms, and get him a little reading material that really shows how much you love him. Just make sure that before you wrap it up, you read it cover to cover, and promise to show him what you've learned.

Snore: Cheezy Book
Score: Tickle His Pickle (make sure you read it first)

Instead of passing off a framed family photo as a gift, find a local photographer and have some extra special photos taken of yourself. Some pictures really are worth a thousand words.

Snore: Family Photo
Score: Pin Up Photo

If your baby daddy is a gym rat, then give him some equipment that will help him pump up his "other" muscle. Bigger is definitely better.

Snore: Weight Set
Score: Power J Gym

Nothing says "I love you" than a ring for the "key" to your pleasure. And this kind ring helps keep him from losing something more important than keys.

Snore: Personalized key ring
Score: Lelo Tor

Cufflinks might just be the most yawn-worthy father's day gift out there. Try a different kind of "cufflinks" for your sexy man. No shirt required.

Snore: Cufflinks
Score: Handcuffs

Your foodie is already a master of the barbeque, so get him to show you some of his sexy bedroom basting skills instead.

Snore: Hot Sauce
Score: Chocolate Fantasy Edible Body Topping

Doesn't dad already have enough silk ties? Go for the ties that truly bind. Blindfold optional, but highly recommended.

Snore: Neck Tie
Score: Silk Bondage Sash

Do your bushes need a little attention? Forget the hedge trimmer and just hire a landscaper. Then do a little ladyscaping of your very own.

Snore: Hedge Trimmer
Score: Hair Care Down There kit

You can always score major points by leaving The Mominatrix's Guide to Sex on your bedstand, along with a super comfy Mominatrix shirt to keep you cozy.

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"Try as hard as we may for perfection, the net result of our labors is an amazing variety of imperfectness. We are surprised at our own versatility in being able to fail in so many different ways." -- Samuel McChord Crothers