With summer travel in full swing and moms already packing their fair share of battery operated toys for those long hellish family trips called “vacation,” the last thing they’ve got room for is their own collection. And with days spent chasing after kids, the last thing you want to leave at home, other than the Ibuprofen, is your vibrator.
So, the Mominatrix has matched up two small and discreet vibrators in a head to head travel vibrator smackdown. Which toy should you toss into your diaper bag or carry on before you hit the road? Check out the two competitors and find out.
Size: 3 3-4" by 7/8"
Intensity: Mild – Moderate
Special Features: Actually looks like lipstick, except it’s for the other lips.
Size: 3 3/4" by 3/4"
Material: Waterproof Plastic
Intensity: Mild – Moderate
Special Features: Triples as a keychain, flashlight, and vibrator, for those who can’t find their keys, or their clitoris.
With its sleek black cover and buzzing magenta applicator, the lipstick vibe is as discreet as you can get when it comes to sex toys. Featuring a simple “on, off, and open” dial, all it takes is a quick twist and you’ve got a quiet, satisfying vibration that won’t wake up the kids or disturb your neighbors.
Unlike its larger counterparts, the lipstick vibe covers a pretty small surface area, so using it may take a bit more time and effort, but considering its camouflaged well in your toiletries bag, you can just explain that you need a few extra minutes to get snazzed up before going out as a cover.
If you’re not a make-up wearer, or haven’t worn lipstick in a few years, you might want to consider grabbing some eyeshadow and blush and tossing it into your bag, so your vibe won’t stick out amidst the diaper rash cream and bandaids. If that’s the case, you might as well just toss a gigantic dildo into your bag and call it a night.
The actual battery installation compartment is on the cheap side, but once you pop your battery in and give this vibe a whirl, you probably won’t even notice. Just make sure your preschooler doesn’t swipe it thinking it’s her pretend lipstick as this vibe definitely requires a tender touch.
At just under $15, the Babelight functions as a keychain, flashlight, and vibrator, all at the same time. Literally. Constructed with the multi-tasking person in mind, the Babelight looks like any other flashlight keychain, except for the fairly subtle but still questionable-for-parents “Babeland” logo and the fact that in order to use the light, you also turn on the vibrator. Sure, it’s not that bad when you’re using it for masturbation, but not great when you just want to use the flashlight for finding something other than your clit.
It’s clear that no one would think twice seeing it swing around on your key ring, but the idea of then using it after it’s been bouncing in the depths of your bag and slamming against a bunch of dirty keys isn’t so sexy.
And while it’s definitely disguised well, you’ll have to lock yourself in a bathroom with the fan on, or spend an extra long alone time in the ocean to actually use it discreetly. Unless you hold the keychain portion firmly in your hand, the Babelight sounds like a barber shop on a busy Saturday afternoon. It’s one thing when you’re alone with your spouse on a romantic getaway. But if you’re with the family, chances are the kids are in the same room or in pretty close proximity which would require a near silent vibrator, or at least one that played lullabies. Thankfully, the Babelight is completely waterproof, so a late night swim might just be the perfect time to put it to good use. And considering how loud it is, you won’t have to worry about being attacked by underwater critters of any kind.
The Winner, by Knock Out: The Lipstick Vibe
The Babelight might have had a fighting chance against your old electric toothbrush. However, considering it sounds way too much like a dentist’s drill, and the chances of you being in a place where you can pleasure yourself without having to be quiet are almost nil, it’s much better as a novelty gift or last desperate resort than something you’d want to actually use.
The Lipstick Vibe may be on the cheap side when it comes to construction and the shade is probably a Mary Kay top seller. But it does fit right into your make-up bag and gets the job done without waking up the family or breaking your budget. This way you’ll have well rested kids and plenty of cash (and room in your suitcase) for crappy souvenirs.
What's the Matter With Mommy?
All original content © 2002 - 2013 Imperfect Parent®. Imperfect Parent and Mominatrix are registered trademarks.
The views, opinions and information expressed in articles and blog posts published on imperfectparent.com and all subdomains are those of the authors alone. They do not represent the views or opinions of The Imperfect Parent or its staff, nor do they represent the views or opinions of any entity of, or affiliated with, Imperfect Parent. The Imperfect Parent is designed for entertainment purposes only and is not meant to be a substitute for medical, health, legal, or financial advice from a professional.
Reproduction of material from any of Imperfect Parent's pages without written permission is strictly prohibited.