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Mominatrix Salutes the Good Ol' USA |
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Forget a swimsuit. Buy some lingerie. No need to spend beaucoup bucks on some lacy teddy that won’t ever see the light of day. Just grab something slightly outside of the ordinary, say a matching bra and panties set, and make sure your partner knows that you have it on. Invest in a sex toy. You’d be surprised at the number of couple friendly toys out there that don’t cost an arm and a penis. And in this case, smaller can definitely be better. Give oral sex. If you’ve eliminated oral sex from your repertoire, then consider adding it back in. And if you’ve been out of the game for a little while, brush up. You might find out that once you really know what you’re doing, you’ll probably enjoy it a little bit more. Whether you decide to get a Brazilian or just do a little shave and trim, change things up down under. Besides, bathing suit season is in full swing and it’s always nice to drop of couple of pounds without having to cut back on the hot dogs and funnel cakes. Romance. Remember that? Just keep in mind that “romance” is a fairly subjective term. While some people might like to be serenaded over a candlelit dinner, others would just well appreciate extra cuddle time and an ice cream sundae. Talk dirty. If you’re the quiet sex-er, make a point to speak your mind, even if it’s in well-timed moans and groans. Plus, thanks to the 4th of July booze, you can leave your inhibitions at the picnic table. Change your locale. Save your bed for sleep and go find somewhere else to mess around. Isn’t that what a guest bedroom is for anyway? Be adventurous. No chandelier swinging required. Grab some chocolate syrup or a bottle of edible massage oil and forget about the mess just this once. Clean up together. With bath and shower time turned into a chore where you’re stumbling over plastic toys and mounds of washcloths, take some time to bathe or shower together. Another set of hands means you’ll get all those special spots extra clean. Salute your partner. Wear a uniform. Nothing says “God Bless America” like doing it with a soldier. If camouflage isn’t your thing, there are plenty of other ways to play dress up. You know you have questions for the Mominatrix -- come on, don't be shy, email them to mominatrix@imperfectparent.com. Identities are kept strictly confidential. |
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