Home -> Columnists -> Mominatrix |
 |
Blow Off Your Duty
By Kristen Chase |
January 11, 2008
|
|
Read more: sex, marriage, mominatrix
|
I recently likened giving fellatio to making brown-bag lunches for your spouse. It starts out as this beautiful gesture that you offer to him, and then becomes an obligation. And when it’s expected, it’s not so beautiful anymore but instead it’s a chore that you’d be more than happy to pay someone else to do.
Take this question from a Mominatrix reader:
I used to love sex and was able to have multiple orgasms. But for the last three of the four years that I’ve been married, my husband has only wanted blow jobs. He uses anger and guilt to get me to give them and I dread the weekends and my period because I feel like I have no excuse to get out of them. Do you have any advice please?
Well, I have to say that for anyone to have to endure that many blow jobs is honorable. I mean, most people who give that much head get paid pretty well for it, and so to offer yourself up in that way to your husband without so much as a pithy hand job is endurance of the marathon runner kind. Except they at least get some type of medal or paper certificate.
Advertisement
Clearly you don’t need me to tell you that there’s something definitely wrong with your situation, because for any relationship to actually work, both people need to feel respected and heard. And it’s obvious that’s not happening for you, and I’m betting it’s not just because your mouth is full all the time.
I’d be hard pressed to believe that his controlling and manipulative behavior just so happened to pop out of nowhere. I’m betting that if he wasn’t guilting you into oral sex prior to your past three years of blow job penance, then it was probably something else. And the manner in which he is getting you to perform them is terribly demoralizing, which might just add to his pleasure.
Most people will tell you that much of their sexual pleasure comes from pleasing their partner. The notion that you are giving someone else the time of their life, like Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes so aptly belted, is part of the deep satisfaction and often times the eventual climax. Basically, most people don’t get off if the other person isn’t getting off either.
So, the fact that he’s enjoying the oral sex that you are reluctantly providing him, even though you’ve expressed to him that you prefer not to do it, is disturbing. And perhaps even worse is that you feel some sense of obligation to continue this cycle that involves the guilt, the manipulation, and the begging.
Even chocolates being forced down my throat on an every-weekend basis would make me ill. So while oral sex can be a beautiful act between two people, when you’re sucking dick more than a Bunny Ranch hooker, it sort of loses its luster.
Now as an enterprising woman myself, I imagine you’ve tried various tactics to avoid giving oral sex. If the complimentary brush-off about his huge penis size and your poor little mouth doesn’t work, a common cold and all the related symptoms are the next best thing. Most men are pretty protective of their penises, so the simple hinting that they could catch some odd virus from your open canker sores or accidentally get a pretty substantial nibble since you can’t really breathe through your nose might be enough to send them back to your beaver.
Of course, there’s no time like the present to perfect the ultimate hand job or the titty fuck, particularly if you don’t have good dental insurance; the last thing you want is to have to deal with TMJ thanks to years of blow jobs.
You could decorate his penis with various accessories and food items to give yourself some variety. Bows are always a very nice touch, but if you’re feeling playful (or incredibly bored, as I can only imagine you are), try adding some googly eyes and a handlebar mustache. And considering dicks closely resemble hot dogs and bananas, you could put together quite a spread. Of course with a humbler penis, bring some chicken for his shish-kabob.
But the bottom line is that even if you’re offering excuses, giving him alternatives, or asking for special favors in return, he’s got to reciprocate in some form or another. The most satisfying sexual relationship is one where both partners are fully invested in making each other happy.
So if he’s not going to treat you as a woman with a voice and her own sexual needs, then you might just have to put your foot down. And if he’s lucky, it won’t be right on top of his dick.
You know you have questions for the Mominatrix -- come on, don't be shy, email them to mominatrix@imperfectparent.com. Identities are kept strictly confidential.
Mominatrix logo by Karen Rani
|
|
|
|
|
|
Read comments on this article (1)
Leave a comment:
|
|
|
|
|
Home -> Columnists -> Mominatrix |
|
| Sign up for Imperfect Parent News |
|
| We will never share or sell your email address |
|
