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Moms and Dads can play dress up, too. |
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| October 26, 2007
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Unless you met your spouse at a Trekkie convention, chances are that trying to get you to dress up as something other than a tired overworked mother might be pretty tough. That doesn’t mean I’m not in support of role-playing and fantasy in the bedroom. Anything that takes away the reminder that in a few hours I’ll be dragging my half asleep body into my son’s room for him to suck on my boob for a good solid ten minutes would be a welcome addition to my sex life. And wearing something else other than my nursing bra and loosely fitting underpants might be just the fix any mom could use to make sex just a little more interesting. But if my husband told me he wanted me to dress up like Lois Lane to his Superman, I’d laugh him right out of the house. Call me old-fashioned, but I think that for the most part, you can’t just go from barely naked parent sex to a Princess Leia and Han Solo seduction scene without at least one (or both) people dying from a combination of embarrassment and laughter. Many parents have a hard time pitching a different sexual position, let alone some elaborate role playing situation that involves an actual script. And while egos and self-esteem should be firmly in place, I imagine telling your spouse that you’d like her to dress up like someone else so you can be more attracted to them might not be the best way to get the hot and heavy back in your love life. Advertisement The benefits of fantasy play in a sexual relationship certainly outweigh the risks, except those rare fetishes that include husbands dressing up in lacy thongs or both parties wearing furry animal body suits. Generally speaking, adding an element of fantasy can be just what parents need to get out of their sexual rut. But expecting your silent-sexing spouse to suddenly throw on a loin cloth and ravage you like Tarzan might be taking things a bit too far. And likewise, if you haven’t discussed your desire to spice things up, I’d hold off on begging your wife to put on the French maid outfit and Angelina Jolie mask. But clearly there are simple adaptations you can make to your current sexual routine that might just be the change either or both of you are looking for all of which go quite well with alcohol. And lots of it. Undergarments While a brand new shiny pair of under pants, or some hot lingerie might not be considered a costume to some people, to many moms out there, just wearing a sexy thong might make her spouse wonder who she is. So instead of going to bed in your typical parental-pajamas, try wearing something your “former” self might have worn. A risqué nightgown? A pair of boxer briefs? Just those very simple and inexpensive changes could add a little “umph” back into your boring routine. Accessories You don’t necessarily need an entire costume in order to make life a little more interesting. How about sex with just your boots on? Or riding him (or her) side saddle with a cowboy hat? It’s a great excuse to go shopping for some new accessories, and it can certainly make things way more interesting without having to set foot in a costume shop. Business Attire Many of us have partners and spouses who have some type of work uniform. And I’m not just talking about a Park Ranger. Do you go to work in a sleek business suit? Deliver packages in brown or white? Either way, most parents don’t think about including their already existing work attire into the bedroom. Granted, no one will want to fuck you in your dirty scrubs, so make sure you’ve got something set aside for special circumstances. But consider upping your sex time to before bed time, and welcome your spouse home with a special treat while your kids watch Dora on loop. Role Playing for Parents If you really want to try some actual role-playing, consider more realistic situations. I know it’s not totally impossible that some hot cop will stop you for speeding and then decide that in order to pay him back he’ll have to give you oral sex. But more believable might be foregoing the costumes and just reenacting the situations with handcuffs. Once you think you’re both sold on the fantasy, you could work yourselves up to actual costumes. The same goes for other more realistic fantasies – like a massage therapist seducing his/her client or a hot delivery person asking for more than just a signature before leaving. And always keep in mind that just because your partner or spouse wants you to dress up doesn’t mean you’re not attractive to them anymore. Well, except if they ask you to wear a mask and keep it on all day long. Then I’d say you’ve got a problem on your hands. You know you have questions for the Mominatrix -- come on, don't be shy, email them to mominatrix@imperfectparent.com. Identities are kept strictly confidential. Mominatrix logo by Karen Rani |
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