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A Woody With a Hoody Feels Very Goody |
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But just because your spousal unit’s foreskin was donated to the hospital along with his mother’s placenta doesn’t mean you’ll never have to worry about dealing with a foreskin; there’s at least a 50% chance (according to stats from 2003) that your daughter will encounter one at some point in her sexual livelihood. Although the risk of increased UTIs and the spread of HIV/AIDs is a concern for unattended foreskins, in most civilized nations, circumcision outside of religious ceremonies is often done for aesthetic reasons; apparently circumcised penises are way prettier than uncircumcised penises. And while I have yet to meet a man whose ugly penis was the reason why he wasn’t getting laid, I’ve heard the stories of women entering hooded penis shock coupled with tales of locker room mockery sending men running to a surgeon which seem to be enough to scare moms and dads into circumcision before they even get a chance to see their son’s fairly tame and dare I say rather cute penis. It’s no secret that the penis head is a highly sensitive area of a man’s penis, but add a foreskin and you’ve got synapse central, even when you add a condom into the mix. And while that might not be the first reason you use to explain why your son’s penis looks primed for the cold Minnesota winters, as a woman who has heard every excuse in the book as to why condoms suck, it’s nice to know that at least for 50% of boys who will soon be men it’s all just a load of bullshit. Now don’t think it’s just the men that get off from the extra skin. The long ostracized foreskin when still attached to a penis can provide a woman with an extra special sexual experience as well. Whereas some women find the smooth head of the penis quite satisfying, others have mentioned that the direct friction, particularly with low fluids, can be uncomfortable. But add a bit of extra skin and the folds of the vagina embrace it creating a more rhythmic and pleasurable experience without the assistance of lubrication. And if that’s not enough, the presence of a foreskin makes the dreaded carpal tunnel causing hand job a cinch. The penis becomes practically self-lubricating which eliminates the need for lube or the dreaded hand spit, and it also makes the actual motion a bit more like working high tech machinery and less like a turn of the century hand pump. If only I had known this as a young college student; I avoided the dreaded four-hour jack off sessions by giving blow jobs. Clearly the title of “Masturbation Princess” lends itself to less embarrassing bragging rights than “Blow Job Queen”. Plus, who has time to waste on a hand-job anymore? I’ve got about the attention span of a good beer commercial these days. So before you start placing ads for men with uncircumcised penises on Craigslist, there are other options, say this artificial foreskin. But if you’re like me, I’ll keep my circumcised husband for now and just use this argument as yet another thing to hate my mother-in-law for. You know you have questions for the Mominatrix -- come on, don't be shy, email them to mominatrix@imperfectparent.com. Identities are kept strictly confidential. |
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1. Joel
Aug 03, 2007 07:23
interesting post.heres some research that was done to further prove your point...
http://www.livescience.com/health/070615_penis_sensitivity.html
i would never suggest someone be dissatisfied with their husband's circumcision status.
but i strongly advice people to think twice before subjecting the needless procedure on their kids.
2. mothergoosemouse
Aug 03, 2007 10:58
I have had that pleasure, right here in the good ol' USA. And out of respect for my husband, that's all I'll say about that.3. Dana
Aug 03, 2007 11:45
While I own three vibrators, I can't say I've ever seen an uncircumcised penis.Not ever.
And as for the decision to circumcise our son, I left that up to my husband.
What a very informative post!
4. Erika
Aug 04, 2007 04:21
met 1 with (and married him!) and 4 without: definitely prefer the hoody! More enjoyable for so many reasons...5. Jim
Aug 04, 2007 08:47
I am an intact male and am happy not to have been cut at birthMy wife seems to like that too
6. Andi
Aug 04, 2007 21:24
I love this blog!!!I've had the "pleasure" of knowing both cut & uncut men. My hubby is cut and sex is great but I wish he still had a foreskin. We have one son & I left him intact (uncircumcised). I'm a nurse & I've seen circumcisions. There was no way I was doing that to my child. Hubby doesn't seem to mind that Jr. looks different from him and Jr. has never noticed.
Thanks for writing about this. It's such a taboo topic here in the US and so many people think uncircumcised guys are "unnatural" or "dirty". The opposite is true. Thanks!
7. VDog
Aug 04, 2007 21:47
I've seen both but only "known" the au natural version. I think it's much cuter looking and I've no complaints in the bedroom either.As for my son, our decision was simple -- my 3rd+ gen American family didn't do it when it was "in" and my husband's French immigrant family certainly didn't do it ever.
Plus, why cut off a perfectly good part of someone's body without their consent? Seems a little crazy to me....
8. VDog
Aug 04, 2007 21:49
Oh, and I'm under 30, with a mid-thirties husband. But perhaps my experience is unique....9. heathersway
Aug 05, 2007 12:56
We left our son intact because I just couldn't do that to him (I mean, OUCH!) and because everything I read on the subject seemed to conclude that there is very little reason to do it apart from “aesthetics”. It’s good to hear more positive reasons to avoid the knife.10. joel
Aug 06, 2007 05:10
good to hear about the way us North Americans are smartening up about this procedure with the amount of information we have on the topic in this day and age.i don't blame anyone for doing this procedure to their sons if they didn't know any better, but their is no excuse to not research a procedure like this, and just do it for a dumb reason like how it looks.
11. Liz
Aug 07, 2007 09:33
I'd comment further on how wonderful this post is, but I'm a little flabbergasted to learn that Dana owns THREE vibrators!12. Toby
Aug 08, 2007 13:48
Yikes. I can't believe this is yet another area where science is losing out to the extremes of PC, new age-ism, or religious conservatism.First, the statement about AIDS is NOT true...see this link:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/3570223.stm
It has nothing to do w/ cleanliness. Un cut is more dangerous, period. And remember, a condom can break, even if your son is being careful someday & using one. Don't you want the extra piece of mind?
Second, gimme a break with the pain. Babies will not remember it any more than the hundreds of times they fall down or get hurt learning to crawl, or the times they cry because of gas or hunger. They use a topical anesthetic, & my son didn't even cry during his circumcision, so they went ahead & gave him his first shot for Hepatitis. He didn't cry for that, either.
Finally, find me a man who remembers the "pain & horror" of his circumcision as an infant.
Please don't ignore the science, like those people avoiding vaccines.
13. Fairly Odd Mother
Aug 10, 2007 09:00
Great post! For me, it is about choice. I want my son to decide which he'd rather be---circ or uncirc--when he is old enough to understand the difference. Once he's cut, there is no going back.Maybe men wouldn't need so much Viagra and there wouldn't be so much 'erectile disfunction' if there were more intact penises?
14. RonLow
Aug 19, 2007 12:34
Great posting!Of course, the issue of infant circumcision has nothing at all to do with HIV, or when there will be an AIDS vaccine, or anything STD related, because INFANTS DON'T HAVE SEX!!
HIS body, HIS decision.
A cut man can decide to restore some of his lost sensitivity. Google "Foreskin Cone." It's easy and comfortable to grow as much as an inch of new skin per year, or just wear the remaining shaft skin forward like a foreskin.
15. LW
Jan 08, 2008 23:42
I really enjoyed your comments about having a 'Hoody.'I'm intact and wouldn't have it any other way.
My girlfriend is latin and she has found so many ways to kiss,suck,and play play with my foreskin, that I find it hard to leave our bed and go to work.
All men should have sex the way Nature intended - with a foreskin.
16. Hal
Jan 27, 2008 15:05
Well you had fun writing that! I would agree with one point you made- basicallly that a hand job with an elephant trunk guy is easier , quicker, requires virtually no skill!Other than that there is no disadvantage to a guy that can be blamed on a circumcision. The removal of the excess skin removes that skin from its insulating effect and opens the way for much better direct stimulation to the coronal ridge and the underside.
It is cleaner.
It is sexier to the eye.
It doesn't carry unneeded extra flavors.
17. anonymous
Dec 11, 2008 14:43
From what I know, there is no increased risk of HIV/AIDS transmission for a man with foreskin, so I'd suggest you do a bit more research. The only thing guys have to be careful of is to make sure they wash themselves properly once they reach puberty. Otherwise, I completely agree with you; it's ridiculous that people cut off their sons' foreskins when there's no medical reason to do so!