All of Mominatrix:
Kickin' It Old School.
For many expectant mothers, the 2nd trimester does indeed bring with it a joyous and blissful renewal of body and spirit. Clearly it’s still not all puppy dogs and rose petals. But if you’ve been puking your guts out, or like me, suffering from brain-wrenching migraines, hitting that 16 week... read more Sex for One, Again
I can’t count how many times I’ve picked up a self-help-your-sex-life book and read that getting away without your kids more often than not is the key to a fulfilled love life. Really? You mean one whole night where my where my spouse and I can just attach ourselves together by a hard appendage... read more Pleasure is just around the corner.
Contrary to popular belief, it’s not just porn stars, ass men, and that ambiguously gay college boyfriend of yours who just so happened to own every single Cher album that like the butt play.
Regular old moms like the butt action too.
Granted, the post-baby butt... read more Touch Me, Baby
When you’ve been stuck for however many hours a day being bugged, badgered, and bothered by little hands grabbing at you from every direction, chances are the last thing that you want is to be groped by your well-meaning spouse. I’m not quite sure what possesses the dad-species to believe... read more Sweet, Sweet Fantasy, Baby
If you ask any mother about her sexual fantasies, chances are they’d probably have more to do with sleep than any specific sexual act.
Is my husband masturbating in the shower while I sleep soundly for the entire night still considered a sexual fantasy?
I suppose... read more It's the Final Countdown.
I’m not sure I remember exactly when my husband and I had the dreaded sexual history conversation. It’s not like one of us kept count of our past conquests in some spiral bound Garfield notebook or anything.
Who does that?
And while I know we’re all virgins... read more Valentine's Day, Mominatrix Style
I have to admit that I dread Valentine’s Day every single year. Maybe I sound terribly unromantic to complain about a meaningful box of chocolates and a dozen insanely overpriced roses that don’t make it past the end of the week, by which point I’ve consumed all the chocolates and are... read more Blow Off Your Duty
I recently likened giving fellatio to making brown-bag lunches for your spouse. It starts out as this beautiful gesture that you offer to him, and then becomes an obligation. And when it’s expected,... read more Jingle Balls
The balls, testicles, gonads, or whatever you’ve christened them are probably one of the more mysterious aspects of sexual play. Most of us have spent our time trying to figure out the long and short of the penis thus leaving the testicles out of the pleasure equation, or at least, as a total afterthought.... read more Shrinking your echo chamber.
We here in the United States are definitely a nation of big. We pump anything that walks with silicone and hormones, and admire the large and in charge because everything is better when it’s bigger.
Except vaginas, that is.
Dear Mominatrix, Does a vagina return... read more Sex for One.
As a person who’s been in and out of relationships like a revolving door, I admit to not being much of a masturbator. Call me lazy or just plain crazy, but I have to say that sometimes it’s way easier to just have someone else do it for you then try to do it yourself.
Keep... read more Moms and Dads can play dress up, too.
Unless you met your spouse at a Trekkie convention, chances are that trying to get you to dress up as something other than a tired overworked mother might be pretty tough. That doesn’t mean I’m not in support of role-playing and fantasy in the bedroom. Anything that takes away the reminder... read more Porno for Parents.
Aside from the recommended date nights that married parents are sick of hearing about, sex therapists seem to be jumping on the porn wagon.
When in doubt, go watch porn.
I don’t really have a problem with porn for the most part, and it can certainly be the key to turning on a... read more Little Squirts -- I'm not talking about your kids.
I’m all for equal rights, particularly when it comes to the bedroom, but I must say I’m perfectly fine with my fairly uneventful orgasm. And by uneventful I’m not referring to boring or even quiet. I’m talking about clean.
For the most part, I could have an orgasm anywhere... read more The Cone: Not Just for Soft Serve Anymore
I’d like to think that parents don’t need kid-friendly sex toys. Just because I’m a mom doesn’t mean I need a dildo that moonlights as a teether. And while the idea of a... read more Love in an Elevator? Try Skipping the Bed for Once
As a college student, the bed was the last place I thought about using for sexual purposes. It cradled my body after a few drunken escapades, but as far as the horizontal mambo, the bed equated old married people with kids. So I saw my fair share of interesting locales, including the library, the art... read more A Woody With a Hoody Feels Very Goody
Unless you studied a year abroad in Greece or are married to an old country Italian stallion, chances are you haven’t had the pleasure of a woody with a hoody. Other than a random meet and greet or a quick flip through a Robert Mapplethorpe book, most women in the 20-40 range tend to dine at the... read more Vortex Vibrations sucks -- in a good way.
While I’d like to think there’s always room for sex toy talk over cheez-its and wine at your weekly playdate, chances are you never get past the boring weekly round up of bad poop... read more Mominatrix comes in a plain brown wrapper.
I've read the complaints about the internet when it comes to opening up the sex world like a Pandora's box and truly, there's something to be said about the local porn addict having 24-hour access to way more than your typical old hard core group band DVD collection. Certainly the internet does not help... read more Playing for the other team.
I’m not quite sure why some men are surprised when after years of quick bangs, skid marks, and foreplay that involves bra snapping and ass scratching, women decide that what they really need is the comfort of another woman’s bosom.
Going the gay way is not really a black and... read more The Taboo of Sex
If you’ve got at least one little mini-me running around after you, it’s fairly obvious that you’re getting some. I liken it to wearing your heart on your sleeve; a pregnant belly practically screams sex. Everybody knows you’re doing it (or at least that you did it one really... read more Talk dirty to me.
If the post-partum sex is still actually occurring in your household and is not a figment of your imagination or hasn't manifested into the form of an online porn addiction, then either you must have an incredibly sound sleeping child or you’re engaging in the dreaded silent sex.
... read more Sex and the single mom.
Even though we’ve got at least one person (baby, teenager, hell, even our husbands) attached to our hip, most moms would say that motherhood can be a very lonely existence. But when it comes down to it, most of us have a shoulder to cry on and someone that won’t decide to break up with us... read more Good girls have pubes.
I remember the days when I could spend as long as I needed to create the perfect pubic coif. Nothing fancy, mind you, just fairly tamed and perfectly contained within the confines of the underpants.
But now I have kids and I barely have time to wash my crotch let alone trim the... read more Sex after childbirth.
As if squeezing out a kid from our nether regions isn’t penance enough, we must suffer through our first few months as a mother with leaky boobs, a sore butthole, and the worst symptom of all, low sex drive. Our little eight pound load is finally lightened, we can sort of fit into our clothes again,... read more This dose of advice is to be taken orally.
Ah, the blow job – it’s a housewife’s bargaining chip, a gay man’s mainstay, or a college student’s virginity saver. Call it what you want, but the blow job has served its purpose in society since before a penis was called a penis. It seemed like just yesterday I was gagging... read more What happened to my husband's sex drive?
Thanks to the hordes of whiny housewives who can’t stop bitching about how they have to fend off their husbands’ nightly sexual advances, the few women with spouses who’d rather sleep it off than beat it off are left wondering what the hell is wrong with them. Apparently a hard day... read more What lies beneath.
I’ve often wondered what goes on behind the bedroom doors in suburban America. Is the frustrated mom of two who drags her son out of the mall by his backpack a swinger by night? Does the clean cut mother of four who plants her flowers in obsessive figure eights give her husband naked lap dances... read more | 
