Home -> Columnists -> Homeschool Rock | ||
 |
||
Aren't You Worried About Their Socialization? |
||
| January 7, 2009
|
||
|
"How can you stand being cooped up all day like that?" "Aren't you worried about their socialization?" Those are the questions I'm asked the most by those unfamiliar with homeschooling. I can't say that I fault them; before I began researching homeschooling as an educational possibility for our family over eight years ago, I wondered the same things. For all I knew, homeschooling required me to wear long denim skirts and to include snake charming as part of my curriculum. My knowledge of homeschooling was limited to popular stereotypes. Also - where were the homeschoolers? They need to put cow bells on these people, I thought. If they don't look like the freaks I imagined them to be how on earth would I be able to find one and shake them down for information? Through these people I learned about the various homeschooling groups in my area (most cities/counties have one, if not several) and joined a network comprised of close to a thousand families. My homeschool group, for instance, is a quasi co-op; we use a Salvation Army facility for gym, Spanish, and geography classes filled with other homeschooled kids. We also have a program featuring classes that a homeschooling family may struggle with: calculus, science (with lab), advanced literature, etc. Classes are taught by savvy parent volunteers, retired teachers, or parents who left the field to homeschool their own children. Our group also has sports teams, a chorus, a drama troupe, and a band. It's usual fare for such groups, as are organized weekly (sometimes daily, depending on the size of the group) field trips and playgroups with other homeschoolers. All of this dovetails with the core lessons taught at home. In the four years I've homeschooled, I've realized that my biggest problem isn't making sure that my kids are getting socialized - it's curbing it from becoming too much socialization. Our area libraries, our zoo, Science Center, Botanical Gardens, nature areas (to name a few), all offer regular programs or classes geared specifically towards homeschoolers. Area attractions routinely offer discounts to homeschoolers (the St. Louis Symphony, Dance St. Louis) and with so many other attractions following suit, it's near impossible to pass up a field trip or outing. I've always questioned the sanity of the person who created the unspoken rule that the best socialization is found solely amongst one's peers - especially when those peers are first graders. I define truly successful socialization as the ability to get on with all people, regardless of age, race, ethnicity, or sex. Neither of my boys bat an eye at speaking to an elderly woman, a kid their age, or someone of a different race or religion. Liam even once struck up a basic conversation in Spanish with a fellow shopper at our farmer's market. I just crossed my fingers and hoped that he wasn't saying anything vulgar as I had no clue what was coming out of his mouth. Most homeschooling groups are incredibly diverse as well: my group counts Hispanic, black, Bosnian, Russian, and white families as members. Some are Christians, some are not, some are Republicans, others Democrats. It's a welcome change for me, someone who went to an average, all-white suburban school district. My socialization in school did not prepare me for the diverse world and were it not for the 15-plus years of ballet training with people of all backgrounds I would have experienced major culture shock when I hit college. I don't think you need to stick a kid in an institutionalized setting to teach the virtues of sharing or taking your turn; that humanity accomplished such eons before public schools were established is testament to that. (Public education rather than homeschooling is the real new kid on the block as it's still relatively a new practice.) Plugging them into the vast world surrounding them sharpens their social skills more than you'd think. | ||
| ||
15 Responses to "Aren't You Worried About Their Socialization?"Leave a comment: | ||
| ||
Home -> Columnists -> Homeschool Rock |
| ||
IMPERFECTION IN YOUR INBOX
 | ||
 | ||
| ||
POPULAR RIGHT NOW
Coffee or Tea, Which One is for Me? When I registered as an Independent, I did so because... read more » The Ides and Crooked Teeth of March According to the old saying, the month of March usually... read more » |
About The Imperfect Parent | Submission Guidelines | Press | Contact Us | Advertise on The Imperfect Parent | Privacy Policy | Terms of Use
All original content © 2002 - 2010 The Imperfect Parent™ and Tiny Tantrums Media. The Imperfect Parent and Mominatrix are trademarks of Prudentia Communications Group.
The views, opinions and information expressed in articles and blog posts published on imperfectparent.com and all subdomains are those of the authors alone. They do not represent the views or opinions of The Imperfect Parent or its staff, nor do they represent the views or opinions of any entity of, or affiliated with, The Imperfect Parent and Prudentia Communications Group. The Imperfect Parent is designed for entertainment purposes only and is not meant to be a substitute for medical, health, legal, or financial advice from a professional.
Reproduction of material from any of The Imperfect Parent's pages without written permission is strictly prohibited. The Imperfect Parent and Tiny Tantrums are trademarks of Prudentia Communications Group.
1. Candid Gifts
Jan 07, 2009 12:55
Thank You Dana!I am a mother of a 2.5 yr old and 1.5yr old, and am considering homeschooling. Family members get very irrate when we mention it! So irrate, that sometimes we question whether or not it is a good choice. I really appreciate reading someone approaching homeschooling with intelegence, not ignorance!
2. Angie (aka ChattyMamaBear on Twitter)
Jan 07, 2009 13:25
Thank you! My 15 year old was homeschooled all the way up until this year, when we chose to put him in public high school. We weren't really able to participate in a homeschooling co-op, but he definitely has no issues with socialization. He, like your kids, will talk with anyone, any age. My school experience was unpleasant, as I was shy and never quite fit in. If it's "peer socialization" the world wants, then they want conformity, and a lack of imagination...a world where kids mimic kids, instead of finding their own individuality. I love the fact that my special needs son, who is now in a special day class in high school (because we reached the limit of how to teach him), was able to acclimate better than all of the incoming freshmen from middle schools! I think we gave him a really good foundation on which to build his educational and social life.3. Kelly
Jan 07, 2009 14:36
Thanks. I am scared out of my mind about homeschooling, but the more I read from folks like you the more confident I get. And you are right about homeschoolers popping up unexpectedly. I mentioned it at my daughter's ballet lesson last week and I was delighted to discover a homeschooling Mom sitting right next to me. She even lives in my neighborhood and belongs to a pre-school co-op.4. mamie
Jan 08, 2009 15:45
every point in this article is one we have discussed as we prepare to learn more about homeschooling in our area. i want my children to have the advantage of experience, not the rigors of standardized testing. i am so excited and encouraged to do this now! and i can already see myself reaching out to teach in this setting, something i miss greatly. yay!5. Shannon Sadler
Jan 08, 2009 20:41
As a mom with plenty of experience with public education, not all "socialization" in the public school system is positive. The first week of kindergarten ended daily with a lengthy discussion about why we don't use that word or use that hand gesture. And that was just kindergarten! As you pointed out, homeschooled kids have plenty of opportunities to be socialized. I really don't know why in this age of enlightenment people still think homeschooled kids are locked away in a closet!6. Karen
Jan 09, 2009 11:14
Yes, yes, yes, to all you said. Also, if homeschooled children have siblings, then they are learning how to get along with other kids just fine, in their home setting.When my parents realized we were intending to homeschool (back when we still had one, and he was just THREE), they made a lot of noise about how he "needed" to be with other kids his age, and how it was near-abusive to keep him at home. Huh.
7. Chrisy
Jan 10, 2009 01:05
Awesome article. Really opened my eyes to a side of homeschooling I never knew, considering what I know about is learned through the Duggar's family show. Thank you.8. Nancy R
Jan 11, 2009 21:10
I don't homeschool and the socialization question has always peeved me - I get it when asked why I haven't sent the girls to pre-k. WHY would I want my four year old to learn to behave like other four year olds? She can figure that out just fine on her own (or quite possibly, with two older sisters, teach them a thing or two!) - it's the rest of the world they need to learn about.Honestly. When in life, other than school, are you grouped by age? When you're in college there are a variety of age ranges, when you're on the job there are a variety of age ranges; I want variety...and not to have two more years added on to my kids schooling years.
9. Homeschool Dad
Jan 13, 2009 09:27
Am I worried about my kids socialization - YES! - that's one of the reasons we are homeschooling. I am far more concerned about the unsupervised, uncontrolled, age-inappropriate socialization that occurs in most mass-school environments than about my kids ability to interact with their peers. Between our local E(nhancement)-Group, Discovery Museum, sports, ballet, church activities, etc., etc. my children have extensiveinteractions with their peers - and almost all in an appropriately supervised environment. Rather unlike the socialization that occurs on most playgrounds, bus rides, etc. Besides, we don't need another socialist in this country, we have too many already :-).
10. Sheryl
Jan 21, 2009 19:34
I homeschooled for a year, and loved it. I'm a former teacher, so it was great having my own classroom again (I hadn't taught since my oldest was born). But I DO worry about socialization. Everyone in our family is fairly introverted, and my kids have always struggled with chatting with people they don't know well. The socialization aspect is related more to temperament than environment, I think. Anyway, I decided to put them back in public school. Although our local schools are terrific, I miss homeschooling and so do they. It's really a quandary, and I wonder which is best for them.11. Kris7
Jan 28, 2009 20:30
I don't remember so much learning in public school as there was fear. Fear of bullies at recess. Fear of not having someone to sit with at lunch. Fear of welts from dodge ball in gym. For the meek, public school is H.E.(double-hockey sticks).Kris7
Working hard at www.sccworlds.com
12. gabriella celeste
Mar 11, 2009 13:59
i worry more about the kids who continue on in dismal public education settings and eventually grow up to be the neighbors, work colleagues, folks sharing the same road or bus or plane or grocery stores, etc. as my children. how do we justify leaving kids behind when its the adults who are failing them? have you read "sould of a citizen"? if we abandon these albeit flawed public institutions, who is left to change them and help lift the tide for all? i'm really struggling with this as i seriously consider homeschooling my sons...13. Renee
Aug 26, 2009 11:32
I agree that socialization in schools is awful. When else are you going to be surrounded by dozens of people your own age, race etc? Plus the hormonal changes and tension, it's amazing that children make it out of school as well as they do. You are never going to be around a bunch of people your own age outside of school. Children need diversity. They need to know how to interact with people older and younger then they are and with many cultural back grounds.14. SchoolingMom
Feb 12, 2010 12:25
I am surprised to hear such dissent and discrimination geared at those of us who choose to put our children in school. I am bright enough to know that I am not the best teacher of academics for my children. That doesn't mean I don't teach them values as some of the comments here imply. I have nothing against homeschooling, but some of the comments seem like people are projecting their bad experiencing in school onto their children. Just because you had a bad experience doesn't mean your child will. There are many good school and many brillant teachers. Its not simply a place to let kids run wild.The most important thing is to be a part of your childs life and take an interest. Yu can be an involved parent even though your child is in school. I hope my child doesn't come across gabriella's children as it seems they would already be labeled as a bad child cuz they went to public and/or private school.
15. ElaineBERGER30
Feb 26, 2010 21:34
If you want to buy real estate, you would have to get the loans. Furthermore, my sister always uses a commercial loan, which is the most reliable.