Home -> Columnists -> Home/Office | ||
 |
||
Momstumes |
||
| October 18, 2007
|
||
|
I haven't donned Halloween attire in several years. But I started to think about the costumes parents often wear without even realizing it. Here are a few of my latest costumes: Two weeks ago I had the opportunity to bring my family on a business trip out of town. My boss turned our semi-annual sales meeting into a planning meeting/family picnic at a beautiful resort near our company headquarters. I was excited to get away from the hum drum of my office but soon realized I would now be evaluated on my family and parenting skills, even if it was unintentional. When we arrived I changed into my "Perfectly-Balanced-Working-Mom" costume. I was constantly smiling, and speaking in a delightful mom voice. I never raised my voice at Dawson, even when he crumbled Pringles in his hands and sprinkled them all over the carpet in the banquet room. Early last week my son was sick with a nasty flu/cold thing. He was coughing and whining and clinging to me, his mother, begging me to stay home and take care of him. My husband and I played Rock-Paper-Scissors to see who would call in and deal with the virus, and the toddler. My husband won. I dressed myself in my "I- don't- feel- guilty- for- leaving- my- sick- child- home- with- his- father" business suit and drove to work. Later that week, my co-workers decided to do Happy Hour and I was invited to join them. After having a baby I haven't had to the urge to hang out at cocktail hour in several years. But my company is very much a "boys club" and inviting a woman out for an after work martini is a big thing, especially if that woman is a mother. I reluctantly grabbed my "Yes!-I'd-love-a-Margarita" sombrero and walked over to the neighborhood bar. It wouldn't have looked good to decline, I thought. It doesn't stop with work. The costumes I wear at home are numerous. When the house is a mess, toys scattered from room to room and dishes in the sink, I dress up as Lucille Ball in my gingham dress, with scarves wrapped around my head, feather duster in hand just to tackle the chores. When the dog needs to be walked I dress up as an adorable but exhausted aerobics instructor and jog around the block with my canine pal. And let's not forget the Jenna Jameson costume I have hidden in the closet just for my husband. It's tough to go from career mom to cleaning mom to hot mom in the matter of a day, but by golly I do it. If only for my own sanity's sake. (I was going to dress up as the Mominatrix this Halloween but I can't find my handcuffs.) I like to think I'm not the only parent who pretends to wear someone else's shoes to get through the chaos of each busy day. Sure, it looks like I'm hiding behind false identities, but I look at it as motivation. A little burst of inspiration to tackle the ringing telephone at the office, or to get through the last awful joke the boss told at the bar, or to accomplish the house cleaning just in case my mother-in-law surprises me with an unexpected visit. Halloween costumes are worn once a year for only a few hours, so that kids can score sugary, sweet candy that makes a dentist's pupils turn into dollar signs. If only I had a dental hygienist's costume to fix those cavities on my own. | ||
| ||
5 Responses to "Momstumes"Leave a comment: | ||
| ||
Home -> Columnists -> Home/Office |
| ||
IMPERFECTION IN YOUR INBOX
 | ||
 | ||
| ||
POPULAR RIGHT NOW
Coffee or Tea, Which One is for Me? When I registered as an Independent, I did so because... read more » The Ides and Crooked Teeth of March According to the old saying, the month of March usually... read more » Why I'm tired of the GOP There's no doubt (except perhaps among loyal listeners... read more » |
About The Imperfect Parent | Submission Guidelines | Press | Contact Us | Advertise on The Imperfect Parent | Privacy Policy | Terms of Use
All original content © 2002 - 2010 The Imperfect Parent™ and Tiny Tantrums Media. The Imperfect Parent and Mominatrix are trademarks of Prudentia Communications Group.
The views, opinions and information expressed in articles and blog posts published on imperfectparent.com and all subdomains are those of the authors alone. They do not represent the views or opinions of The Imperfect Parent or its staff, nor do they represent the views or opinions of any entity of, or affiliated with, The Imperfect Parent and Prudentia Communications Group. The Imperfect Parent is designed for entertainment purposes only and is not meant to be a substitute for medical, health, legal, or financial advice from a professional.
Reproduction of material from any of The Imperfect Parent's pages without written permission is strictly prohibited. The Imperfect Parent and Tiny Tantrums are trademarks of Prudentia Communications Group.
1. Cheryl
Oct 18, 2007 23:39
Sometimes I feel bad about all the new momstumes I wear. I think it's because I don't even remember what I used to wear before having babies. I think there's a little bit of bitterness about that... seeming to only have identities defined by my relation to others, rather than by whatever is left over when all of that is stripped away.2. Dana
Oct 19, 2007 09:24
Cheryl, I think you're dead on with your comment. It's difficult to remember who we were before we had children. And then in my case, I fret because I feel guilty for even thinking about that. It's such a controversy for me.3. Liz
Oct 22, 2007 17:35
Yep, I'm on a business trip in Chicago and wearing one of them-thar-momstumes, right now - BOO!Great article, Dana!
4. Dana
Oct 22, 2007 21:38
Thanks, Liz! I think your momstume is adorable! Having fun in Chicago? I miss it. I miss it much, as Janet Jackson would say!5. prescott
Oct 22, 2007 22:34
I often miss Chicago, too, good thing I live here.Liz, we would have taken you out to dinner but I don't need to explain to another parent the logistics of getting out on a Monday night...