Birth Control
Whatever happened to the waiting room?
By Timothy J. Coles
I will start out by telling you that my youngest child is now old enough to vote. This is a matter of some amazement to me. There is just no way that I am old enough to have a son that old, let alone his brother and sister who are even older. I am sure that there has been some mistake in the accounting; someone has made an addition-subtraction error. It’s easy to do you know, add five, carry two, subtract nine and what do you have?
My wife insists on pointing out that if I were really the age I claim to be, my oldest child would have been conceived when I was about three years old. I accuse her of cradle robbing and she gives me that look that all women have perfected. You know the one that says, “You and I both know you... read more
Here's To The Rest of Us
Happy Mother's Day, dammit.
By Misty Nuckolls
I hate Hallmark holidays. They suck. My husband and I never observe Valentine's day, which, if you listen... read more
Hypocrisy
Learning to let go.
By Mary Ellen Galloway
I may as well come clean from the beginning. I am a hypocrite. A phony. Full of bull, or something... read more
Cyber Warriors
A new breed of superheroes battle online child predators.
Like watching a presentation of what goes on in a slaughterhouse while eating a steak dinner, sometimes... read more
Being Literal
A Cesarean delivery is permanent birth control.
By Carolyn Aspenson
Usually a locked door means, “you’re not getting in”, but not at my house. Here... read more
More Parenting Features
A Socially Irresponsible Stroll Through My Neighborhood
Sometimes convenience trumps political correctness.
By Robin Dutton-Cookston
By the time you finish reading this essay, you will think I am a depraved, cold-hearted, unfeeling subhuman. Someone on the level of Monty Burns, J.R. Ewing or Dick Cheney. In other words, some of the things I am about to reveal will possibly offend you.
But I want to be honest. When I take a walk in my San Francisco neighborhood, sometimes I like to sidestep certain annoying people or things. And I do have a certain guilty pleasure in artfully avoiding that which is detrimental to me having a decent walk.
You see, my family has one car. So we daily negotiate which adult will drive the Honda, depending on the whims of scheduling and public transportation. On the days when my husband takes the car, my daughter and I tend to... read more
Religious Intolerance
Just get over it.
By Shannon Kietzman
Religion, on a whole, is quite a sore subject for me. You see, my husband and I are atheists. But,... read more
My Many Hats
The life of a stay at home working mom.
By Christina Barber
A friend once asked, "How can you do that? How can you be a stay at home mom, get all of that... read more
Shades of Gray
It's not always black and white.
By Misty Nuckolls
I've avoided writing this for a long time now. Over eighteen months, if the truth be told. But tonight,... read more
September 11, 2006
Five years later.
By Jessica Carlson
Just how the Grandparents and parents of some of us older folks claim they know the precise moment... read more
More Politics/Social Issues Features
WTF?! Toy Roundup
Gooey Louie, Security Camera, Fairly Oddparents, and Slimecano
This special edition of WTF?! Toy Roundup features actual items Santa left under our tree last month. That prick has one twisted sense of humor.
Gooey Louie Gameby Pressman Toy -- $12.99
You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but unfortunately you can't pick the gifts grandma buys for little Timmy. Pull boogers out of Louie's nose (and judging by the look on Louie's face, he
seems to have some sort of fetish for this), until someone grabs the one attached to one of his nose hairs and SPROING! his brains fly out of his head. Sweet, huh?... read more
Secret Agent Mom
You know the difference between you and me? I make this look good.
By Kristen Chase
There is a distinct chance that I may have stumbled upon something amazingly brilliant. Or it's just... read more
Beautiful People Make Better Mothers
Screw you, Cindy Crawford.
By Kelley Cunningham
Elizabeth Hurley lost her baby weight... read more
I’m Pregnant, Einstein!
Expecting mothers have no shame.
By Janene Mascarella
My husband said I should be ashamed of myself. “Fighting with a twelve year old, who does that?”... read more
Itchy & Scratchy
or Ten Things I've Learned About Head Lice
By Eileen Flanagan
If you go through every hair on your child’s head and you find one louse, it doesn’t... read more
More Humor Features
The IP Bookshelf
Pancakes for Supper by Anne Isaacs, illustrated by Mark Teague
Pancakes for Supper
By Anne Isaacs, illustrated by Mark Teague
Scholastic Press; $15.99
40 pp.; ISBN: 0439644836... read more
The IP Bookshelf
It's Not Fair!, By Amy Krouse Rosenthal, illustrated by Tom Lichtenheld
... read more
The IP Bookshelf
Looking Closely Along the Shore by Frank Serafini
... read more
The IP Bookshelf
My Mommy's Tote by P. H. Hanson
... read more
The IP Bookshelf
Silent Letters Loud and Clear and When You're Shy/Silly and You Know It
... read more
More Lifestyle Features
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