The Imperfect Parent's archive of parenting articles and essays

Whose Poop Is This?
Iíve become a shit archaeologist.
By Margaret Curran
When you mix together three kids and two dogs, you’ve got a recipe for copious amounts of unidentified shit. You’d think by now I could tell who left what shit where, but that’s not the case. Let me give you some examples… I’m attempting to potty train my son Jason. I’ve resorted to letting him run around diaper-less while trying to monitor him, putting him on the potty when he displays ‘defecation behavior’ (the white-knuckled gripping of any sturdy surface while squatting and grunting like a feral monkey). I can tell you from experience that this method of potty training doesn’t work when you’re a single mother. There’s way too much going on to follow a bare-assed... read more

The Drowning Pool
Sink or swim.
By Rosie Gorelik
Sitting through my childís swimming classes was among the most heart-wrenching tasks of motherhood to... read more

When It's Someone Else's Child
It takes a village?
By Bryan Johnston
An age old parenting question: Should you reprimand, scold, tattle on or instruct another person’s... read more

Being the Mom
It's my turn to play dress-up.
By Kim Montes
My youngest daughters were playing dress-up one day and I overheard a familiar conversation. “Why... read more

Our Son, the Man
"Daddy" is noticibly missing from his vocabulary...
By Prescott Carlson
Here is my quandry. My 3-year-old son has taken to calling me by my first name. I suspect he was up late... read more

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The Imperfect Parent's archive of political and social issues articles and essays

Enzo in Nicaragua
Seeing street kids in a whole new light.
By JD Roberto
It’s with no small amount of guilt that I shoo away a kid of about 8 who approaches me with a, “Hello, amigo.” Enzo doesn’t notice. We’re sitting on the front steps of our hotel, me poring over the map of Granada and him captivated by the horse-drawn carriages that line the central square of this well-preserved Spanish colonial town. Street kids—whether the pint-sized kitsch hawkers at Angkor Wat, the frequently belligerent Gypsy girls outside the Louvre, or the pack of 9-year-old boys who follow you Pied Piper-style to the bakery in Hue (where you inevitably buy them a loaf of bread)—are a fixture in the life of a traveler. Almost anywhere you go, there’s a predictable... read more

Let's Call It What It Is
Remove the mask of conservative ideology from religion.
By Colleen Floyd
I have a fondness for the Separation of Church and State, but not all people do, and that’s... read more

Tahrir Square Presents: Children of the Revolution
Growing up during the Egyptian revolution.
By Amira Aly
"Mommy! Don’t ‘oust’ me! I am not an evil president,” said my six year... read more

September 11, 2006
Five years later.
By Jessica C.
Just how the Grandparents and parents of some of us older folks claim they know the precise moment... read more

Environmentalist mom trades principles for convenience
The fall from green grace isn't that far down.
By Suzanne Lafetra
There is practically nothing as hard as caring for a newborn baby, and to have to do it when you... read more

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The Imperfect Parent's archive of humor articles and essays

The IP Guide to Parent/Teacher Conferences

It's that time of year again, the time when we get to take time from our busy schedules, sit in an undersized chair, and listen to a litany of complaints about our children. In our ongoing quest to help Imperfect Parents™ everywhere, we've compiled this handy list of responses for you to use at your next parent/teacher conference: Maybe he needs glasses? What if I made some sort of "gift" to the PTA? Her doctor says she has a microhectaglobin deficiency that makes it difficult to learn state capitals. I've heard Einstein used to fart loudly in class, too. Did you ever think maybe it's you? We've been working on the whole "worms are not for throwing" issue. I... read more

Morning Has Broken
A play-by-play of one mom's a.m. routine.
By Asha Dornfest
5:30 am: Alarm clock sounds Blindly search for, then press snooze button. 5:38 am: Alarm... read more

WTF?! Toy Roundup
Gooey Louie, Security Camera, Fairly Oddparents, and Slimecano

This special edition of WTF?! Toy Roundup features actual items Santa left under... read more

Ask the Angry Baby
Cursing habits, sippy cups, co-sleeping sex, international travel, and saying "no"

My 7-year-old has a habit of cursing. He occasionally does it in front of me, and I've heard... read more

An open letter to the J.M. Smucker Company, maker of Uncrustables

April 1, 2005 Executive Offices The J.M. Smucker Company Strawberry Lane Orrville, OH 44667-0280 RE:... read more

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The Imperfect Parent's archive of lifestyle articles and essays

The IP Bookshelf
Deceptively Delicious by Jessica Seinfeld; Squiggles: A Really Giant Drawing and Painting Book, by Taro Gomi

Deceptively Delicious: Simple Secrets to Get Your Kids Eating Good Food By Jessica Seinfeld Collins; $24.95 208 pp.; ISBN-13: 978-0061251344 Review by Prescott Carlson First let me say I don't know what the fuss over Deceptively Delicious is all about.... read more

The IP Bookshelf
The Sandman by Ralph Fletcher; illustrated by Richard Cowdrey

... read more

The IP Bookshelf
Come Back : A Mother and Daughter's Journey Through Hell and Back

... read more

The IP Bookshelf
Pierre in Love by Sara Pennypacker; illustrations by Petra Mathers

... read more

The IP Bookshelf
Will It Blow? Become a Volcano Detective at Mount St. Helens By Elizabeth Rusch; illustrated by K.E. Lewis

... read more

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"We all suffer from the preoccupation that there exists... in the loved one, perfection." -- Sidney Poitier