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Of Lice and Men: A Tale of Big-Little Proportions |
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It's also no surprise that small things will throw me over the edge, the proverbial straw that breaks the camel's back. Or, say, the creepy-crawly that nearly sent me to the loony bin about a week after I became a divorced single mom. I'm talking about lice, the gross, disgusting minuscule bugs that feed off of your scalp. Lice. Nice, right? Then the phone rang. Our daycare center's number popped up on the display. Oh, how my heart sank. I mean, c'mon -- when does a call from daycare in the middle of a workday ever amount to anything good? "Hi, Susan," the center director said. "I hate to tell you this, but we were combing your daughter's hair and...well...she has lice." I'm sure I squeaked out something semi-rational at hearing this, but I assure you that inside I was screaming in horror, picturing an army of insects pitching tents under the canopy of my daughter's hair – luscious, thick hair, which, I might add, she inherited from her father. "I'm sorry," she went on, "but you'll need to pick her up; your son, too. And just to be safe, you should wash everything they've touched in your house." Friends, the lice was bad enough, but it was the last part of what she said that prompted the first tear I had cried in weeks (okay, maybe days) to roll down my cheek. I hung up the phone, feeling my head begin to itch. See, after spending 5 days getting everything ready and moved in, I had brought the kids over to my – our – new home the previous night. The kids had explored each room with great excitement, finishing their tour by rolling around on my bed. They were happy and so was I. That is, until a tiny insect living the high life on my daughter's scalp – plus our clothes, towels, toys, and the brand new crisp, white linens and pillows on my bed – moved in with us. After picking up my quarantined children we went home and started the exorcism. I shampooed each of us once, then twice. When I frantically lathered up my hands again, my children began to wail, "But you just washed us, Mommy!" "But it's lice!" Don't kids know anything?! This was war! And hysteria! After a third shampooing, the kids ran and hid while I moved on to the rest of the house. Like a madwoman, I threw anything not bolted down into the washing machine. Stuffed animals, pajamas, sheets, towels, comforters, and pillows – all of the items I had removed from their brand-new zippered bags and washed only days before. Twenty-four hours later, our house was sterile, our hair squeaky-clean. My children returned to daycare. I returned to work, tired but triumphant. I was gazing out my office window again, massaging my chapped, sore hands, and the phone rang. A call from God telling me to stop looking out the window and do some work? Nope, I wish. It was daycare. Somehow I knew what they would say and they didn't disappoint: lice. This time, I didn't cry. This time, I got mad. The stuffed animals and sheets, combs and comforters went back into the scalding-hot water; the kids went back into the bath. This time, I decided to make one home not so warm and welcoming to its guests. "We're going to get your hair cut short," I told my daughter as we drove to the salon. "'Cause I have lice?" I remember glancing at her nervously in the rearview mirror. "Well, sort of, but no! You don't have lice! They're gone now, so let's keep that our little secret, okay?" Next thing I knew my daughter's hair was falling in large chunks onto to the floor and I heard her tell the hairdresser, "I had bugs on my head, but Mommy got rid of them. It's our secret." To this day, the thought of that big-little episode of my newly divorced life makes me chuckle. And, knowing I can rid my house (and daughter) of a louse, I'm pretty sure I can do just about anything. | ||
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1. Kymberly
Feb 19, 2009 14:19
Oh honey! My head itches just reading this. And you know it could happen to anyone! My SIL dealt with this - and the re-infestation (note to any readers: remember to delouse your CAR!)2. T
Feb 19, 2009 23:24
Oh my goodness. You're so good at cracking me up!I SO know that feeling of your heart sinking when the daycare's number shows up on the caller id. Ugh.
What a great story! And your daughter telling the hairdresser! Ha!
Thank you for yet another great example of why your book needs to get published!
Soon!
;)
3. dadshouse
Feb 23, 2009 13:10
Lice are horrible critters and tough to get rid of! No fun. You have passed the parenting test in flying colors!4. Sheri
Feb 25, 2009 09:43
I cannot imagine having to deal with all this. Looking back at events always reminds me how much I've moved forward.5. Paul(singledad)
Sep 14, 2009 23:38
I know exactly what you are going through. just treated my son 3 times now and myself to make sure once. My other two children have managaed to stay clear of the lice infection. The products we have here in Australia to treat it stink so bad I almost wonder what is worse, lice or the shampoo chemical stench. My son (10)asked me what would happen if we just left them in? (mmmm, maybe that could be an option?)I replied they would multiply more and more and drive you crazy with itchiness.Anyway loved your article -can relate to it. If anyone knows of a nice smelling product that works brilliantly please let me know.
thank you
Paul Rosenberg (single dad 3)
Co Founder SPU-Single Parents University