The Imperfect Community

[Petulant Pixie]

There is a black belt camp coming up the beginning of June. Alex went last year and had a lot of fun. It was one overnight last year, this year, it’s two overnights and Katie can go.

Would you let your 9 y.o. daughter go to something like this?

Last year, there were a handful of adults—instructors. Around 4 men (grownup men—fathers, themselves) and 1 woman (at least I think she went—a mother herself). Then there were the older teen kids (16/17 y.o’s, the 5 boys and 1 girl)—see how tiny she is compared to them, though?


Last year, that was the bulk of the group. Then there were a handful of 12-15 year-olds (5 or 6 of them). And that was the entire group. The youngest kid was 12. So, it was all fairly balanced. It was top-heavy with the adults/older teens and then the young kids weren’t that young.

I had NO reservations about sending Alex last year. He was there with his good friend, he’s a strong swimmer, in good shape and he has a good head about him.

Katie is a whole other story. This group will have all of the above, but there is a slew of younger black belts this year.

Katie announced that two of her friends (little girls like herself) will be going for sure. One girl’s father is an instructor, so she’s covered. Her dad will be there. The other girl is that girl’s best friend, so her best friend’s dad is an instructor, she’s covered. Katie would not have an adult of her own. Unless Mike goes, and that’s something we’d have to ask about.

Alex will be there and so will Miss V (who has a special friendship with Katie).

But if all the younger new black belts go, then that’s like 5 or 6 children who are ten years old or younger (two will have the dad looking out for them specifically, so that leaves around 3 or 4 who will have general group supervision). Is that too much for the adults and teens to manage, do you think? For two overnights???? Is that demanding too much from those folks, do you think?

I worry not so much about anything happening to her. I think that there will be a big enough group of very responsible people looking out for her, and she’s strong and disciplined (for her age), and she can swim and climb and keep up, otherwise she wouldn’t even have her black belt. But, I worry that she will tax everyone’s patience and energy to the point of them not having any fun. If it were just her, then I’d still probably be all right with it. Then she’d be the novelty, and they could pass around responsibility for her in shifts and still enjoy themselves. But, with 5 or 6 little kids, I am concerned that all the older people will be doing is babysitting the younger ones, you know? Or thinking that someone else is watching them and then something bad might happen.

So, would you guys even consider letting her go?

Obviously, we’re considering it. Because she will give us HELL if we say no. She is really, really wanting to do this so badly, and there are other little kids going. So, we can’t just say no, you’re too young. She’s been told that she’s not too young and is invited.

I’m going to talk with the chief instructor to run my concerns by him. Maybe he’s already thought of this and has a plan—like to assign the little kids with older people on a buddy system that runs in shifts so the teens and adults have specified little kid watch time and then time free to themselves. Or maybe we can talk about Mike going along. Mike really, really, really does not want to go along, but we can talk about it if the chief instructor does not blow me over with his planning and insightfulness about how this will be.

[Petulant Pixie]

OK, so, nevermind. I called the school to voice my concerns and the owner told me that she's making a cut-off age of 11. Basically because of all the concerns I had--and that there aren't any bathrooms at the camp site. A slew of little girls in the wilderness with no bathrooms. I thanked her for making my decision for me and for making it easier to tell Katie she couldn't go.