The Imperfect Community

Stacey S · Posted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 7:14 pm Post subject:

LMAO!!! I always say that Christian strives for mediocrity & I get angry w/ him, but I am all too aware that I created it! The one & only responsibility he has is to take care of the dogs & I have to say EVERY week we get in a knock down drag out fight because the backyard is knee deep in pooh! Up until last year I was still cleaning his room (he came to me & said that he felt like it was an invasion of his privacy & out of respect for that I agreed not to do that anymore). I will say if you can stop now…you should. Christian works with me in the summer months cleaning moonwalks & I can honestly say his work ethic is awful! He is definitely on the "good enough" program so I feel as though I have done a HUGE disservice to him. At the time I rationalized it by saying I was just being a good mom...but I now can see that it was my control issues that were the driving force. I begrudged my child of the feeling of a job well done & I am very sorry for that now. There is something to be said about the feeling of accomplishment and I didn't give him an opportunity to have that.

iowafan · Posted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 7:32 pm Post subject:

Jamie and Stacy, you both seem so sweet! OCD, no, control, yes. I know when my 1st child was born, I ran my house a lot like Kate (except for the fact that she was a sensory learner from a young age, so anything tactile, messy, or artsy was allowed even in the high chair...) I liked having order, things a certain way. My 2nd child cured me of that. Maybe the more you have the more you fall back on order??
Life goes too fast to worry about things like stained clothing to me, and I'll miss the messes when they are grown. My sister has pretty bad anxiety issues, so I really feel for you. I know she sees a therapist, and this one has helped her more than others. I wish I could help her, and panic attacks sound awful.

Stacey S · Posted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 7:57 pm Post subject:

I think I've gotten better (you'd have to ask my family though...they are the true barometers of that I suppose)I will say that I was only 18 when I had my son so I've grown up a lot since then. OCD is a catch phrase that we here all to often now...very much like ADD or ADHD. So I will agree it's a control thing, not OCD....but it is VERY difficult TO control! I fear that most of my learning experiences are in hindsight, so I really need to work on it...hence the family counseling. I will say by doing that with my family they are learning that it's not them....it's me & they are becoming much more supportive & understanding. The only downside is that now when I tell my teenager to pick his clothes up off the floor he makes fun of me "Mom...you're doing it again"! LOL

JamieS · Seen Better Days Joined: 12 Apr 2008 Posts: 280

DietCokeHead · Queen of Imperfection Joined: 29 Apr 2002 Posts: 3805

Angelica · Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 6:21 pm Post subject:

I don't think she has full blown OCD ie repetitive behaviors. I knew a guy who washed each finger one hundred times and if his counting was interrupted, he started over!

I think she mostly has control issues because she is stressed out. Admittedly, much of the stress is coming from her own mind and the need to have things a certain way and to keep the chaos at bay. Jon said on one of the shows that if she could relax more about what the kids were doing, she have a better time.

Also, when things like the stains on the clothes come up, in her mind, she sees lots more work for her to do because to her, the clothes have to be stain free. So it seems as if everybody in the world is conspiring against her.

I, myself, have been known to openly weep when something I have worked hard on, gets ruined by muddy feet or something. Ridiculous? Probably. It's something I struggle with from time to time during stressful times in my life. If everything else is going wrong, at least I have control over the stupid floor. Only I don't because other people (and the occasional animal) also use it. Smile

I sound really uptight, but I have actually relaxed quite a bit since my marriage. My husband is the very definition of laid back which is also sometimes a source of stress to me but mostly I appreciate it.

iowafan · Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 9:04 pm Post subject:

"I sound really uptight, but I have actually relaxed quite a bit since my marriage. My husband is the very definition of laid back which is also sometimes a source of stress to me but mostly I appreciate it.[/quote]"

Me too. My husband really could care less about order and organization, but hopefully a little bit of us will rub off on the other....I know I have cooled it a LOT, but I still have days when the mess that was created by adults makes me cranky Everybody has their uptight anal moments, right??... Rolling Eyes

mommyplus3 · Slightly Flawed Joined: 03 Jul 2008 Posts: 43

I don't think Kate is OCD. I just think it's just a "phrase." My friends and I are always saying we are ADHD when we go into mommy-brain. I think it's just her expression for saying that she is anal-retentive about things and needs order...which, BTW, I can sooo relate to. must be why I like watching her ;o).

Stacey S · Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 7:16 pm Post subject:

I think that's why I like her too (to a degree) I can definitely see some of me in the things that she does….Some of the things I find humorous...others I have made a mental note to change immediately!!!

mommyplus3 · Slightly Flawed Joined: 03 Jul 2008 Posts: 43

Sooo true...the one that got me was the Toys R Us epi. When my eyes bugged out at Kate yelling at Jon, my kids pointed out that I had indeed behaved similarly before..EEK!! (but somewhere deep down, I was relieved to see that even other people lose it at times Shocked

)

momof3_MOD · Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 8:22 pm Post subject:

I must admit that sometimes my hubs and I make comments towards each other while in public like Kate did to Jon at Toys R Us. BUT we do it to embarrass each other on purpose! lol He will look at me with a weird look and then start yelling at me and wait for ppls response. Rolling Eyes

I used to get really embarrased by it but now I give it right back to him! rotf! Its amazing to me how some ppl will laugh when they dont know we're really not being serious! Wink

And some probably think that hes gonna beat me when we get home. Sometimes he really has a sick personality! lol

mommyplus3 · Slightly Flawed Joined: 03 Jul 2008 Posts: 43

OMG...too funny that you guys do it on purpose! I like your sense of humor Wink

Stacey S · Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 8:56 pm Post subject:

LOL momof3....my honey "handles" telemarketers for me...I made ONE donation 6 months ago to the local police dept. and now they call me monthly like a friggen bill collector...he got on the phone the other day & told them "I don't let that crazy bitch anywhere near the G.D telephone...every time she gets on the G.D telephone it costs me money!" Shocked

I'm thinking they won't be calling back...
He also had one who asked to "speak with the lady of the house" and he said "yes" (he sounds like Barry White) the telemarketer said "this is the lady of the house?" he went off on the whole "don't hate me because I'm gay" routine!
I love that man!

momof3_MOD · Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 9:11 pm Post subject: