The Imperfect Community

Jessica · Posted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 5:12 pm Post subject:

I admit to having a form of anxiety issues too. Mine is more a constant fear and paranoia of things that could happen, like I hate flying and I'm always worried that something tragic is going to happen to my kids. I also have an extreme fear of heights.

I'm pretty untidy myself, but there are few things I am obsessive about, like laundry. It has to be done in a certain order and a certain way and if someone else does the laundry, which has only happened once in 10 years, I get anxious.

I also don't like small talk, it makes me anxious and I hate being put in situations where I have to socialize with people I don't really care much for or about.

Anyway, I do have a point in all this!

I think that is one of the reasons people watch Jon and Kate. I think those with anxiety issues relate or feel some solace in the show and how Kate acts. It kinda validates some of my own anxieties and makes me feel better about myself. I can say to myself, "Well, at least I'm not like that!" Laughing

Stacey S · Posted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 5:15 pm Post subject:

I assure you that that person who does that to you has issues of their own...more than likely they are insecure about something themselves so it's easier for them to make you feel bad about yourself so they feel better about themselves...simply put...that person is a bully! I think it's funny how we are discussing very similar topics on both forums...I wish Lauren would come join this one...all this back & forth is making me dizzy! happy3

LOL

JamieS · Seen Better Days Joined: 12 Apr 2008 Posts: 280

Stacey,

The reason I say PTSD is because growing up, I was in an environment where I had to be "perfect". If I got a B, there was punishment because it wasn't an A. I'm not saying the punishment was always severe and not all the time but the expectation that it would come caused anxiety. When I thought I had reached that level of perfection, the rules changed. There was always something more I could do or should have done. Guilt was the reaction for not measuring up. This is why I think sometimes I do have a bit of PTSD. In the past year, I've worked hard to overcome the anxiety but I'm not all the way there yet.

JamieS · Seen Better Days Joined: 12 Apr 2008 Posts: 280

Stacey S · Posted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 5:24 pm Post subject:

Jessica,

I know exactly what you are talking about...that's what I was referring to earlier when I said the things I fixate on are ridiculous. Instead of me being grateful for somebody doing the laundry for me I am freaked out that it was done "wrong". My son is soooo lazy, but I created that because I did EVERYTHING for him & still do! It was just so much easier, faster, & correct for me to do things rather than allowing him to do it for himself (his future wife will no doubt hate me for this)...however, on the other hand I'm constantly complaining that I have to do everything! I can truly see my families thinking "damned if you do, damned if you don't".
As far as social situations...I'm the ass that talks non-stop because silence is awkward for me in that environment...then I laugh.
I think you hit the nail on the head as far as why I watch. I do enjoy watching the dynamics of that family....but it's Kate that I'm really fascinated with!

JamieS · Seen Better Days Joined: 12 Apr 2008 Posts: 280

Stacey,

Laughter is a coping mechanism and I've been in the same situation. I don't do it often but thankfully I haven't been to too many funerals or I'd pull the same thing. Once it gets going, it doesn't stop unless someone is very stern with me. Thankfully it's a rare occurence for me.

Stacey S · Posted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 5:32 pm Post subject:

JamieS,

My parents were (my dad still is) neat freaks to the nth degree! I mean you have NEVER seen anything like it!!!! I will say for me I am a classic statistic of why I am the way that I am. I have no issues with my parents now...they are only human & I honestly believe that they were trying to do the best that they knew how, but got wrapped up in their own lives for the most part of my childhood. I was in no way shape or form abused & most all my needs were met ie. clothing, food, shelter. My mother was very demonstratively affectionate with me and we had a very open relationship (no subject was off limits)I learned more from their mistakes than I did from my own. I'm not much into the pity party thing....I like who I am now & I'm that was as a direct result of how I was raised. It made me a better parent & hopefully my son will learn from my mistakes & in turn that will make him a better parent. After all...thats what it's all about right? I guess were all a little quirky!

Friend · Slightly Flawed Joined: 13 Apr 2008 Posts: 145

[quote="JamieS"]Normal is so good! hahaha

You are correct. We don't talk about these things because we don't want to be judged. I know I don't. There are people at work who know I have this. One of them is cruel in her treatment of it. She smurks everytime it happens and will have some nasty comment. Others are supportive but I'm still ashamed of it.[/quote]

I learned a long time ago, there is no such thing as normal. There is no shame is admitting to mental illness in my book. Anxiety and panic disorders are very common. I think Kate when benefit greatly from the help of some meds.

Stacey S · Posted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 5:37 pm Post subject:

The ad on the bottom of my page was for herbal remedies for OCD! LOL

JamieS · Seen Better Days Joined: 12 Apr 2008 Posts: 280

My mother's life was tough. She was a single parent raising two kids. She did the best she could do with the tools she had. I think she was scared to death that I would end up with some of the same issues she had and did what she could to prevent them. My sister ended up with those issues and she was a bit more relaxed with her. I think those things are a matter of personality. I didn't have the personality for it. How could she know that? She didn't. We are very close now. There is nothing to forgive. I know she had my best interests at heart.

JamieS · Seen Better Days Joined: 12 Apr 2008 Posts: 280

Welcome Friend! Suzanne.

Stacey, I saw that! Way too funny!

Jessica, For all my perfectionism, I'm a bit untidy too.

Friend · Slightly Flawed Joined: 13 Apr 2008 Posts: 145

Stacey S · Posted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 6:19 pm Post subject:

JamieS,

I have a quote on my refrigerator that says "life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you react to it. I just thought that I would share this with you. I tend to be a bit insensitive when I see grown people whining about their childhood (I am in no way shape or form referring to what has been said on this forum). We can't do diddly about our past, but we absolutely have a say on our present & our future. Those people ADULTS who spend their lives constantly looking behind them instead of whats right in front of them infuriate me!!! Our childhood absolutely shapes who we are and how we react to things to a degree...but I have little tolerance for those who use it as an excuse as to why they are not able to strive for bigger & better things. My brother is a prime example...he will sit around & cry in his beer as to what a terrible childhood he had blah,blah,blah while he is now giving HIS children a very similar experience. Makes me want to Sick

We have the ability to move on and up from our past....it just takes some hard work & a good positive attitude!

JamieS · Seen Better Days Joined: 12 Apr 2008 Posts: 280

Stacey S · Posted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 6:47 pm Post subject:

JamieS,
We are soooo on the same page!!! It sounds like the person you work with HAS to have something to bitch about in order for them to live, they THRIVE on the drama & they are ALWAYS the victim! I have met people like that...you can't help them, cut the anchor or they will take you down with them! They truly suck the life right out of you & move on to the next person because the thing they are searching for is within themselves, but they will NEVER figure that out & it only creates angst in your life. Ignore this person if it isn't work related & lose no more sleep over it. This person more than likely won't stop...it's a huge misconception that the "performer" will no longer "perform" without an audience...they have done this & will continue to this their whole life, you just have to make YOU the priority & walk away...don't waste another second of your life on it because thats all it is....a waste!