The Imperfect Community

mommyweirdest · Posted: Sat Mar 08, 2008 5:29 pm Post subject: Am I being a paranoid freak?

The husband's close friend is getting married this fall, and is planing a four day bachelor party/trip to Montreal Canada with about fifteen guys.

Now, I love daddy weirdest friends for lots of reasons, but I also know some of them are disgusting and the trip is no-doubt going to be four days of getting fucked up on all sorts of drugs, probably some strippers, and who knows what else....

So, even though I trust hub to not partake in any of these things, I kind of said "you are totally not going over my dead body" because we are going to be in the middle of moving, we have an infant, and a puppy and don't live close enough to any family so four days with the beasts = not fair to me.

But I feel bad.
I feel bad because maybe I should let him go to the "bachelor" party thing and I shouldn't CARE what his friends do but I just can't help buy pay attention to the voice in my head chanting "that's degrading, that's degrading!"

I just need to rant, but would you be totally okay with your SO going to something like this?

Jessica · Posted: Sat Mar 08, 2008 8:00 pm Post subject:

It sounds like it's just bad timing more than anything else. I wouldn't feel bad. Many new parents go through this. Whether your husband likes it or not, it's time to grow up and his life won't be the same as it was pre-baby.

Them is the breaks.

But again, I think it's just shitty timing and you and the baby need him to handle some domestic responsibilities. So, tough titties. That's what I say.

mommyweirdest · Posted: Sat Mar 08, 2008 9:00 pm Post subject:

Yeah, tough shit is what I say too.

I mean realistically if I said "oh hey my girlfriends want me to go get drunk in another country for four days, diapers are in the dresser" it wouldn't fly.

Petulant Pixie · Posted: Sun Mar 09, 2008 9:14 am Post subject:

Exactly. That part of your lives is just over. Maybe when the kids are grown and your responsibilities are less, but for now, it's just unrealistic to ask that of a spouse. That's why you get all your wild-n-crazies out before you breed.

GuerinLeigh · Slightly Flawed Joined: 04 Jul 2008 Posts: 2

Perhaps you could make a compromise.

Would it be too out of the question to give him your blessing to go away for 2 days and 1 night. That is get there the morning of the second last day and leave the last day.

You may also whilst having the discussion want to ask if in the future there can be a reciprical promise that you get to go away with the girls (him taking care of baby) at a future date.

I realise that life has changed but that does not mean that all things should stop and being too harsh or too rigid may lead to resentment.