The Imperfect Community

[Phaedra]

Hello!
I am a 21-year-old nursing student (just started my CNA program) in Washington. My DH and I were married in May, and moved 1500 miles from all friends and family (I was born and bred in Arizona). Our apartment is, for the most part, unfurnished and has been since August. I am clearly susceptable to depression, but I've been trying to keep myself busy.

Last month, I had what I believe was a miscarriage, and as such I set up two separate appointments with an OB and PCP in order to establish myself in Washington. Bloodwork at the OB came back normal on all accounts (thyroid, pap, etc). On the day I was going to fill a prescription for birth control, the PCP gave me a bi-manual exam and urged me to take a pregnancy test. "Young lady," he said, "you're pretty d**n pregnant." I estimate the day of conception to be around Sept. 18th.

Help! I need resources and I don't know where to start. I don't smoke or drink (thankfully), but my diet is crap. I've been a long time reader of the Imperfect Parent, but I never thought I would have occasion to post for myself (at least, not this soon).

[mammaX3_MOD]

First off, welcome! I'm not too far from you, Phaedra. Only 15 min from Redmond. I had all 3 of my kids at Evergreen Hospital Medical Center in Kirkland, and I loooved it! I had 2 different doctors and loved them both. The hospital has an OB clinic in it, so the docs are always close in case you go in to labor.

If your diet is not the best, you can always squeeze in some excersize to balance it out a little. Good luck with your pregnancy!

[Jessica]

Congratulations!

My un-expert opinion is that if you're prone to depression, pregnancy can exacerbate that -- given the myriad of hormones released during pregnancy. You may want to consider a profolatic anti-depression medication during your pregnancy. Some are considered very safe, especially after pregnancy and by all means, if you're not comfortable doing it while pregnant, start them the day you give birth because you'll probably be high risk for PPD, especially given that you're so far away from family and friends.

You're going to also want to start on a good prenatal vitamin. I would say to schedule an appt with an OBGYN. Call your local hospitals and ask for the maternity ward (to ask the nurses for their OB recommendation - that would be the best resource) or to go through the hospitals referral system.

Good luck and keep us posted.

BTW, welcome!

[Phaedra]

Hello again.
Thank you both for your speedy and thoughtful responses!

MammaX3, I would love to chat with you further! <3 My OB is now Megan Hull from Evergreen, and while I've only had one appointment with her, I believe she'll be the OB I stick with. I've scheduled my first check-up on Nov. 9th, when I'm told I'll be about 8 weeks along. Oy! Thanks again for the recommendations. I'd love to chat with you over a non-alcoholic, non-caffienated drink (*headdesk*).

On a somewhat related note, do you know of any pregnancy support groups in the Redmond area? As I mentioned before, my recent move has left me without a group of family and friends to trade stories with, and I am feeling isolated. I also recently discovered that my husband has gone into emotional shock (unsurprising, considering the state of our finances and his own emotional state prior to this unplanned pregnancy), leaving me feeling compeltely overwhelmed and alone... Oy, times two.

Jessica, your advice was spot-on, too. I realized how many severe depressive episodes I've had in the past six years, and am looking into counseling because 1. I don't want to feel this way anymore and 2. it will hurt my child not to get treatment. Thank you for alerting me to the fact that some antidepressants are safe during pregnancy (I really had no idea)!

I'm looking forward to hearing more of your guys' insight, and I really appreciate what you've given me so far. What a warm welcome!

[Phaedra]

P.S. Jesssica:
My heart goes out to your family concerning Graham's unique blend of savantism (it's actually how I found the site). I've been reading over the past year about your struggles with the school system, and have been able to identify with them to a certain extent.

My youngest brother has a rather advanced case of Asperger's; we are lucky that he is so high-functioning (and is able to live a "normal" life with an occassional emotional meltdown). He has demonstrated savant qualities. Similarily, my highly functioning youngest sister has been diagnosed with PDD among other learning disorders.

As such, I am very afraid that my own child might have a similar complex. Your stories about the Montessori program are very encouraging, thank you for providing a voice to your (and his, and Prescott's) personal struggle.

[Jessica]

[Phaedra]

You're very, very welcome, Jessica, and thank you for yours! I may sound like I'm a crusader here, but for too long these problems have been met with silence and ignorance imo. It's only been recently that there has been so much extensive research and available "therapies" (excellent use of quotation marks, by the way). During the next few months I will be brushing up on my autism/mental health education as much as possible so that we're prepared for anything. If there does happen to be a problem (any problem--from ADHD to autism to anxiety disorder/depression, which I deal with anyway), I hope to get it diagnosed early. I will definitely keep you posted on this issue, and I hope you'll keep us posted on Graham's development! I'm so, so glad that the program has worked for you; then again, since he sets his own pace, I am not entirely surprised that it works as well as it does. Best of luck.

And judging from online due date calculators, my due date should be 06/16/2008... which is interesting since my husband's birthday is 6/11, his brother's is 6/10, and my MIL's is 6/24. Hmm... I'm sensing that September has been an interesting month for a generation of people.