The Imperfect Community

shellydages · Slightly Flawed Joined: 30 Jun 2006 Posts: 51

It seems that this forum has been dedicated to losing a child in one way or another. That is something I will never experience, and all I can do is offer my sympathy to those of you who have expereinced that. I can't imagine how hard that is...

But on a personal level, I am grieving myself. My dad died on Feb. 2nd. I know that part of the reason I don't have much "real life" support is because I took two weeks off and then carried on like nothing happened. I could go on about how I had other things to do and blah, blah, blah.....right now I miss my daddy so much I could scream. I've never been religious in any classical sense of the word, but if there is a god I think he/she/it fucking sucks donkey balls right now. My dad was a flawed human being, but he was not cruel or evil. Yet he died in pain and indignity. He would have rather died in a drive by shooting, or dropped dead of a heart attack. If he knew he died with his wife and kids changing his diapers.....

Fuck. I'm sorry. I don't have anyplace to let my feelings out, really.

I miss my daddy.

shel

Anthromomma · Posted: Mon Jul 17, 2006 9:01 am Post subject:

Shelly, I'm sorry to hear about your father. Loss of a parent is a very difficult thing, no matter what age you are when it happens.

My mother died of cancer when I was eighteen years old. I can definitely relate to the 'carrying on as if it never happened' thing-- I left for college a month after she died, and while that made things easier for me in some ways, since no one around me knew about my mom, the times when the grief hit me were overwhelming because I felt like I had no one to turn to. I know that it sounds trite, but it really does get better with time. The indignity of extended illness is truly horrifying and unfair, but as you get some distance from the event, it will be easier to remember your father for the life that he lived instead of the way that he died.

My thoughts are with you

Erika