The Imperfect Community

uncinnmandms · Slightly Flawed Joined: 14 Jul 2006 Posts: 4

Hi -
I am a SAHM to two girls - a 3yo and a 4mo. I have a question regarding when to get new things without "spoiling" the kids. As a SAHM, I feel like I need more resources than average (especially since we are basically home ALL day long right now with the miserable heat and the youngest one isn't too fond of outings) . . . but I also fear that I just get more and more and more stuff to the point of excess, you know? I don't want my kids to think that they get stuff all of the time. We restock on paper, craft supplies, and I admit a weakness for books (although we do visit the library often, too). But now my older daughter is able to do much more and I saw some neat board games - Curious as to when other moms buy new things. Just birthdays and holidays?

Thx.

Jessica · Posted: Fri Jul 14, 2006 4:21 pm Post subject:

Interesting and tough question!

I think if you're buying games and crafty stuff, you can't really spoil your kids. In today's society, spoiling is more about gadgets that have very little educational value.

I dunno, I think we really stopped buying toys for Holden when he was old enough to learn not to expect things. Now that Holden's almost 8, he knows that toys are for b-days, X-mas and special occassions when I'm feeling charitable or when he's earned allowance.

My 3 yr. old doesn't really "get" being spoiled, but the other side of that coin is he doesn't expect or want anything, so that makes it easy.

DietCokeHead · Queen of Imperfection Joined: 29 Apr 2002 Posts: 3805

My kids get new toys on their birthday and on Christmas and then very occasionally when Grammy brings a new puzzle or book over. They never ask for new toys because they have never actually accompanied me to the store and come home with a new toy, LOL! Maybe they think Santa and the Birthday Fairy are in charge of toy distribution. Laughing

We do love board games here though! My 5 year old will play for hours. Only problem is that it requires parental involvement in order to be successful. Confused

kathyjm · Posted: Sat Jul 15, 2006 3:42 pm Post subject:

With my kids, I've noticed that more toys does not equal more things to do. they just mean more toys to ignore! So they get new things (not necessarily toys) christmas and bdays.

I think when I leave them be, theyre better off because that's when they start using their imaginations! With my little one, I do offer things, like finger paint, clay, coloring, etc...but I've noticed when I leave her to her own devices she gets way more imaginitive and has more fun. I swear my yongest (of the five) is so low maintenance because I had so little time to 'entertain' her. With a family this large, it's just not possible. But I do see that she is so able to entertain herself becaues she has not learned to be reliant on me or new things. For example, today she made a bedroom for one of her stuffed animals. She used a cardboard box and some hand towels. She's totally proud of herself and came up with it on her own. THat's way more fun that playing with a new toy that would be forgotten in like 30 seconds! Yesterday she decorated my master bath with pink crepe paper that she colored shapes and squiggles on . I'll take it down in a few days but for now I'm pretending it's the most beautiful artwork ever! :-)

She thinks it's great to 'help' me! LOL..so I do take advantage of that too.

Try not to get stuck in the cycle of entertaining your kids, that's not your job! :-) you'll make yourself go crazy!

Rebecca_R · Posted: Sun Jul 16, 2006 1:50 pm Post subject:

Well, you have to think, as a sahm you are buying stuff to stimulate her mind, so it's not really spoiling. My 2 year old goes to daycare PT, so he gets to play with lots of new toys there, artwork, paint, messy stuff like that. He's not spoiled for getting access to it. So I don't think your daughter would be spoiled for getting paints or books or things to keep her occupied.
I think it's when parents buy their kids everything they ask for they get spoiled. When I take my kids to the store, I don't let them just get things. My oldest is almost 6 and he is allowed to collect our spare change we leave on the counter and save up a few bucks to buy himself a toy.

I'm more about buying things that will stimulate them. I buy them sidewalk chalk for them to play in the backyard. Paints to do outside. Crayons. But as for actual toys that are real snazzy, that's saved for xmas and bdays!