The Imperfect Community

[DietCokeHead]

Scout- How do you do that with more than one kid? Different bedtimes?

OK, better get to bed. Hopefully tonight will not suck as bad as last night.

[supergirl]

Hunter's had the doorknob to his bedroom door turned around (lock on the outside) since he was about two. He didn't understand sticker charts and rewards at that age, but he sure understood the concept of the door shutting and the room getting completely dark if he got out of his bed. Good luck - hope tonight's better!

[Jessica]

[DietCokeHead]

She'll be 3 in May. I kept her in her crib for as long as I could, she started vaulting out 2 mos ago and I was scared she was going to hurt herself.

Update: Last night was not great, but better. I kind of wussed out on my original plan to be a super-hard-ass but she got up 4 times crying and came into our room and I walked her back, put her into her bed, told her I would lay with her for a few minutes. Then as soon as she fell asleep I would go back to my room. I am sure I am training her for some other bad habit now but it beats the all night screamfest, that's for damn sure. She loves baby dolls so I told her if she stops getting out of her room and sleeps in her bed by herself all night, we'll get a new doll at Walmart the next morning.

Thanks for all the advice! I keep remembering something that Mainstream Mom said a while ago (I think someone else said it to her?) "Small kids, small problems". In this case it's true and I am hoping the phase passes quickly!

[Scout]

Nah, the boys have twin over full bunk beds, so Cal gets up top, and I get in the bottom with Joshua and Somerset. We read three short books or a chapter if we're doing a chapter book, then turn out the lamp. Joshua falls asleep really fast usually, and then I take Somerset to her bed if I'm still awake. She takes forever to fall asleep sometimes.

Lately, Calvin is the only one waking during the night because of the whole anxiety thing I posted about. Last night he came and got me abot 3:00, so I went back and lay down with him (he was sleeping on the bottom with Joshua). That kind of made me think, though. I mean, no one seems to think that I should just make Calvin tough it out, because he's old enough to articulate his fears to me. So why is it different with younger kids? Not trying to start a debate, but it just kind of struck me, how different the advice about Calvin was than the advice about younger kids, KWIM?

[DietCokeHead]

Yea, that is an interesting point. Molly says she is having bad dreams but I dont know if that's it, or if she's just waking up then pissed off because she's alone or what. This afternoon I had to lock her in her room at naptime and she yelled and screamed for 10 minutes then got in her bed, under the covers and zonked out! Sigh. Kids are exhausting!

She's so stubborn, this is why I am afraid of trying potty training now!

[MainstreamMom]

Annie I remember we went through a similar phase with Jack shortly after we moved him to a bed. It was fucking HORRIBLE and I remember kicking myself for moving him to a bed.....remember I kept posting asking if I should move him back to the crib and I've always said that was my worst parenting mistake (moving him too soon). But in your case you had no choice.

The good news is he did grow out of it. It felt like forever but it did pass. We had his room gated and remember nap times were a nightmare, he tore the border off his walls, put holes in his walls and pulled his dresser over twice....it was a fucking horror show and I can honestly say that is one of the main reasons dh and I decided not to have any more kids. Amanda is not nearly as stubborn/defiant as he was/is but still.....

You guys know I'm the separate bed Nazi (and the biggest sleep whore) so I would do anything and everything to keep her OUT of your bed/room. I think going in and lying down with her is the best thing for now until it passes.

[Rebecca_R]

Not trying to start a debate, but do those of you who are locking the kids in the room ever worry? I mean, what if they hurt themselves or get sick or something? The only reason I think of this, is because I had a friend that was so gung-ho for ferber, she once let her kid CIO all night long, the kid had a horrible rough night, and in the morning she found the kid covered in wet and dry puke. She felt *horrible* and decided not to CIO anymore with the baby. I was just thinking, what if the baby was crying so hard and aspirated the vomit, what if the child hit it's head or even if there was a fire and the kid couldn't physically get out of the room. Do you really thinking locking a child in a room is safe?

[MainstreamMom]

[prescott]

If the child aspirated or hit their head, a locked door would not matter in those situations, would it? As far as a fire, it would have to actually start in their room for a locked door to be a danger (I'm assuming the parent would go get the child if the fire was elsewhere in the house!), and how likely would that be?

Not that I'm for locking doors, but I don't see it as a big threat to their safety.

[DietCokeHead]

I've only done it a handful of times but always unlock it once she calms down and wouldnt leave it locked for an extended period of time. That being said, I still dont think it's necessarily unsafe if you check on the kid periodically.

[ExCareerGal]

Not locking door is definitely a threat to my son's safety. JC can get anywhere in our house. There is no such thing as childproofing. When he was 18 months old he would crawl out of his crib and up on top of furniture. He would literally pull dressers on top of him , pull down computers , and climb up to get to knives and poisonous cleaning stuff (which were in upper cabinets with saftely locks) in the kitchen. I took everything out of his room except for a toddler bed, and had gates that prevented him from any dangerous room ( they only slowed him down - he can climb over them). Several people told me I was jeopardizing JC's saftey by locking him in his room at night. Believe me, I saved his life! He is now trusted in most rooms ( he is 3) but I still have anything dangerous in a very inconvienient place and I monitor him closely. But when I am sleeping I need him locked in. I took the lock off for a few months but found out he was not ready ( he went in the bathrooms and took all tissues and toilet paper off the rolls/box and stuffed the toilets).
Gotta love him!
Janna

[supergirl]

Hunter's room has always been 100% child-proofed. There's no danger in there, and I still (at almost age 5) have a baby monitor in there that's always turned on. Having said that, although I have no worries about locking him in his room, I haven't done it more than a handful of times. It's the mere threat of locking him in there that causes him to act appropriately. I did it a few times in the beginning to make a point and a few times since then when I've needed to show him I still mean business.

[honeybee]

we lock Owen in his room to keep him safe. His room is completely safe, it's practically bare. I don't even keep a dresser in his room. There is nothing in there to hurt him. On the contrary, if he roamed the house at night (as he would do, since he is awake at night at much as he is asleep), there are many dangers... the bathrooms, especially freak me out.

There is a monitor in the hallway between the boys rooms that picks up all their sounds. There is a fire alarm in every single room of the house, including Owen's room.

We locked Ethan in his room at night when we lived in CA because I was scared to death he'd fall down the stairs at night. The baby monitor always alerted me when needed -- I can't tell you how many times I awoke to hearing that special gagging/coughing, just to run to his room in time to see him sit up in bed and puke all over the place. Ugh. He pukes a lot.

[new053105]

Oh wow!! Lauren went through a phase before she turned 2. She did NOT want to go to bed and kept getting out of her room. I was so frustrated. For the first 3 days, she went to bed with me. And then we weren't sleeping well together, because Lauren SNORES!! I gave up co-sleeping because that kid can saw some major ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZssss....she has very large tonsils...LOL!

Anyhow, I had it one night and was tired and basically I told her she had to go to bed, and I closed the door. She was too short to reach the handle and she did cry and finally gave up and went to bed, and I didn't have issues since. But she was younger, and I think it was the crib/bed transition going on, or she was getting the last of her teeth in (her teeth came late).

On some level, I have always had to go sleep with Lauren in the middle of the night. For the most part, she sleeps through, but there are still times I have to go lay down with her, or she crawls in bed with me.