The Imperfect Community

[momtofour]

I am on my fourth child, but they're all so very different from each other that it's like being a new parent all over again.

My baby just turned three and I took him for his first dentist appt a few weeks ago. He totally freaked. Would not even go in the room. They tried everything - bribing him with stickers, Dentist Dino with the giant Toothbrush, cartoons on the overhead TV. Nada. I carried him out sobbing and told them we'd try again in a few months.

Then today I took him to his 3yr check-up with the ped. I missed his 2yr check-up because my dad died last year at that time - I missed a lot of things for months afterwards. So anyway, we were behind on shots. Today he needed three. Oh boy.

We did the simple things first - weight and height - nope, he wouldn't stand on the scale.

They tried to measure his head. Uh, no.
Open your mouth and say 'ah' ? No way.
Can the doc look in your eyes? He covered them with his hands.
Temp in ear? Forget it.

It was a nightmare just to get the standard measurements. And the doc is our neighbor! It's not like she's a total stranger.

Surprisingly, he didn't even cry for the shots. He tried to squirm but I held him fast. He was thrilled that he got a sticker (bandaid) when it was done.

I can't take him anywhere or he has a total break down. Even at the grocery store, he cries if anyone talks to him. Will he grow out of this? Please tell me it will be soon.

[Petulant Pixie]

He sounds like a "fearful child". The advice for kids like that is to let him be. Don't try to force him out of his comfort zone at this age, let him cling, hold him, reassure him. Of course, there are times, like at the doctor, when you're going to have to let him be VERY uncomfortable for his own best interest, but still, reassure him with your presence and comforting tone. The research shows that if you let these kinds of kids feel safe, they'll be positively reinforced by these situations and will eventually (by pre-school/kindergarten) grow out of it. If you try to force him to be polite though, and be out of his comfort zone, then it makes the situation bad all around and those kids tend to be shy for a long, long time, even into adulthood.

[Jessica]

Could it just be a stage? I know that at times, when my older child was a toddler, he'd go through weird, fearful stages when he became more aware of his surroundings and life in general. I hope it just a stage and if not, I think PP gave you some really good advice.

[honeybee]

My 2.5 year old is the same way. We deal with it as PP explained. I look forward to him outgrowing it.

[Scout]

Both of my boys have been like this to different degrees. With my oldest, it was more shyness and fear. With the middle child, it's more that he *hates* to be "messed with." He can't stand to get his face wiped off, hair combed, nails clipped, etc. So taking him to the doctor or dentist can be a huge ordeal beause of this. Honestly, unless they need shots, my kids don't go to the doctor unless they are sick to a degree that I know they need a prescription. The well checks are just not worth the hassle to me. And I've never taken a toddler to the dentist, which I know makes me the worst mother ever. I just know what it's going to be like, and I'm not doing it. We take good care of their teeth and I keep an eye out for cavities and such. Actually, my 8 yo seems to have a cavity right now, and that is our first one ever. I need to take him next week during spring break.