The Imperfect Community

[ExCareerGal]

I grew up in a fairly secular world outside of DC. From there I lived in Northern and Southern California, Philly, New Mexico and now Memphis. Though New Mexico was a wake-up call to me about the influence of the bible in small towns, nothing prepared me for the casualness of using G-d's name and his power in regular conversation as it does here in the South.

The Majority of phone messages end with something about me "Having a blessed day" Everyone is praying for everyone else, and G-d get's mentioned on a general basis in conversations with strangers and friends. I appreciate all the blessing and prayers - I guess they don't hurt and could even help!

As an adult, I have even lived and worked in religious organizations (I spent 2 year working for the Arch Diocese of LA and even lived in the Brother's house for several months. ) But G-d was not as prevalent there as he is here in Memphis. I even invoke G-d's name myself when I think it will have impact on an audience or make a person who I am trying to connect with feel comfortable. I sometimes believe I do have a connection, but I was not raised to have religious or spiritual beliefs sprinkle in my daily language.

Have any of you found difference in this depending where you are and who you are hanging with? I guess what is strange for me is I normally do not assume everyone belives in G-d so before moving here I never felt it was a "common ground" necessarily. I also grew up with everyone have all different religions (In DC I was with all the embassy kids) so the assumption here that everyone is G-d believing and Christian is almost insulting . . . but accepted. How comfortable are you about talking about G-d (or Jesus - or Allah - or whomever?) in casual conversation

[Princesso]

I am a Christian and am very comfortable discussing God and Jesus with others that believe. I'm not as comfortable talking to people about Him that I think don't want to hear though.

[DietCokeHead]

Kind of off topic-- but is there something about typing "G-d" instead of "God"? Is it supposed to be bad luck to type it with the o in it?

I would be fine with discussing it in casual conversation but I am not very religious so it doesnt come up really. And I do get annoyed with people who say things like "It's all God's plan" when shitty things happen to people.

[ExCareerGal]

Kind of off topic-- but is there something about typing "G-d" instead of "God"? Is it supposed to be bad luck to type it with the o in it?
(Quote from Diet Coke Head)

The 3rd commndment says not to take the Lord's name in vain. Some people take that quite literally and never write the word G-d in case it is ever printed and could be dessicrated. It is just to be respectful (from a sometimes agnostic!). But I usually only meet Jewish people that do it (and one Brother of a Church I met). For me it was an old habit.

[Scout]

Well, you know I know what you mean, lol. I think it may be difficult for people to get exactly how this is done here so I'll give a few examples. If you are talking to a co-worker about her dog acting strange, she will say "I've just been praying about it." If you are talking to an acquaintance about the possibility that her husband's job is going to transfer them, she will say "We just have to leave it up to the Lord I guess." Within 5 minutes of meeting someone it is not unusual for them to ask you where you go to church, or, more passive-aggressively, mention their church by name. "I was raised to believe..." is a common way to start a sentence. There are just a million subtle ways that the religious status quo is reinforced through daily conversation. And yes, your child could be struck down right in front of you, and people would tell you it must be God's plan and He works in mysterious ways.

To me, these things are different from sharing your beliefs within the context of a conversation to which such a thing is relevant. I have no problem with someone talking in depth about their beliefs if we were having a conversation about, say, having to talk to our kids about death, or how we grew up, or whatever. It's the small, casual ways that God and religion are constantly refrenced that becomes so disconcerting.

And it's nice to have someone else from here to talk about this, because in the past we have talked about related topics here and I think it's hard for everyone else to think that I'm not just paranoid and defensive, lol.

[ExCareerGal]

Great examples Scout! It is hard to describe how pervasive this is. And I have never lived where is was so casual and assumed to be a totally appropriate way to communicate with others. I guess I raised to get to know someone a little before I get into politics or religion! here is it "hi"- then religion - then get to know you.

[kathyjm]

It's interesting how different regions are!

As a christian in the SF Bay area, I totally am not comfortable mentioning God to others unless I KNOW they share the same beliefs (guess that makes me a bad Christian?? I dunno).

I dont openly speak about my faith IRL unless it's someone I know who is also Christian and we have the NEED or a reason. I get the impression from what Scout wrote that people will sort of size you up initially?? Out here in cali, we are sized up on appearance (which is so pathetic!).

I wonder if that's why we have disagreements on this board about religion...from our different perspectives. We have churches of every kind here in almost every city (not just the christian kind). But it's also the culture here to accept differences and well, you just never know what one beleives. I've never seen any official polls done on this but my suspician is that MOST people here practice faith of some sort (christian, muslim, jewish, etc). I even kow a few wiccans (not sure if that's the proper word to call them?). Because it's so diverse and we are raised around it, I think generally, we're all pretty tolerant (of course there are always fanatics) and the topic just doesn't come up.

I feel like a minority around here but I bet I'm not. It's just not something people talk about in casual conversation here.

As far as my Christian beliefs go, I do live my life to glorify God. While I dont evangelize I do hope that my example will cause others (who dont' believe in Jesus) to wonder if there's really something to it? I dont think that's a bad thing because obviously if we truly have faith in something, then that's what we believe and we want to pass that on to others. I think that goes for all religions, right??

I think a real Christian knows better than to judge others or behave in a superior attitude. Not use their faith as a platform to hate.

Scout, what you describe reminds me of that wife swap episode that was recently on ! LOL... I thought those ladies were obnoxious!

So amongst my ramblings, to answer the original question, I would say culturally here, God is not something you hear in casual conversation when out in public.

[Scout]

Kathy, the one with the big scary-looking woman who kept acting like the devil was after her because the people she went to were kind of new age? She was a freak. And yes, her friends were extremely rude to the other woman, and they did remind me of how some people are here. But here, *most* of the women who have those beliefs are too well-mannered to be that openly rude about it (although not all). But the way they went staright into asking her about her beliefs was exactly what would happen here. If someone moves here, one of the first things people will ask them is "Have you found a church?"

[ExCareerGal]

[kathyjm]

I dont know excareergal! I would feel more at home knowing I could talk openly about MY beliefs without feeling like I've offended someone. BUT, if it's anything like those ladies from wife swap, no thank you! I seriously do not like being around judgmental people.

Here's my stereotyping... with southern women, I never know who is being fake and who is being real! LOL....

[prescott]

I am a God warrior!

[kathyjm]

CRAZY!

LOL, was that the cameraman taunting her by saying "I'm glad you're home"?

[Scout]

I couldn't watch that whole episode, it was so uncomfortable. Was it the way the woman decided to spend their money that made her go psycho like that? What a complete and total freak! She was just so repulsive, too. All through the episode, here hair would get all sweated down flat to her head. On one part she started freaking out going "What is that smell?? What is it??" and running around acting like she was retching from the smell of evil. She probably smelled her sweaty pits!

[Sewingsiren]

[Scout]

You'd think. But no, "His eye is on the sparrow, and I know he watches me."

Honestly, and I don't want to offend anyone by saying this, but I find it really offensive when I hear some well-off person talking about whether The Lord wants them to buy the new 5 br, 4 bath house in the new upscale development, and how they are praying about it. It makes me want to say "While you're in there, ask The Lord why he wants babies in third world countries to suffer horribly from the moment they're born until they finally die pitifully of some easily curable disease. Ask Him why whole families in Calcutta have been living in boxes on the sidewalk for six and seven years with no other plan in sight, and why mothers in some African countires have to sit in darkened rooms with their tetanus-infected children praying that no sound will penetrate and cause a brain-damaging seizure. Let me know what He says."

I understand that Christians believe in a personal God. But to me, the total and utter lack of perspective that some of these people show just disgusts me.