The Imperfect Community

terina918 · Slightly Flawed Joined: 12 Mar 2005 Posts: 12

My daughter had the same thing happen from grade 3 up to grade 6, by the same girls. The one girl had started out being her friend, her first friend, when we moved to Arizona, but then met a nasty little thing that started the teasing, and this first friend started doing it to her as well. The little nasty one would threaten her, and I would get involved. The girl was disciplined, but it still continued on the bus. It never ended, until we moved. Now, the girl that was friends with my daughter is getting bullied. Her mother told me and said that she told her that now she knows how others feel when she bullies them.

My daughter is still, apparently, getting bullied, this time by people in the gym lockerroom. She has no friends around her, NOBODY likes her. Unfortunately, my daughter has a bit of a big mouth, and I don't know if she's causing anything before someone else does something to her...she's done it before, and then turned it on the bully.

She also had that happen with a boy who liked her. Happened in grade 2, and he kept punching her in the stomach after school. I stepped in and talked to the principal and the teacher. Turned out the boy liked her and didn't know how to express himself other than getting physical.

My middle daughter goes to a school that has a little boy who utters things to her friends and her. She doesn't seem to understand that she needs to report these things, no matter what. It doesn't matter if they're joking, those things are not to be joked about. This is a boy who tells all his friends that girls are not good for anything but S-E-X (his words). Also on Friday (she tells me this now) the same boy threatened them while they were lining up, saying that they were dead at recess. I'll be calling the school on monday, I think.

MedeaNJ · Posted: Tue May 17, 2005 12:23 pm Post subject: Re: Bully's

kathyjm · Posted: Fri May 20, 2005 5:22 pm Post subject: Bully's

Well, with the boy who was the original topic..things have cooled off with him. He's defnitely not her friends but hes polite to her now. He's been in many fights since then, destructive with the school, etc... so he's just a trouble maker in general.

Katelynn is getting teased and mimmicked on a daily basis. It's usually only boys and usually 8th graders. It's so much now that I can't even keep on top of who's doing what. Her psychologist has been working with her on self esteem and some approaches to dealing with the teasing. She's getting better at dealing with it but it's not always perfect.

She told me today a kid "lucas" was teasing her and calling her twitchy in a sing songy kind of teasing. She corrected him and said I dont twitch I have tics. He kept doing it and her response "look at you you're so fat you're about to explode" which then led him to asking her if she looking for a fight and taunting her with that. Obviously she lost her cool today and retaliated. I know the right way to handle that is I should have coached her on not lowering herself to the level of bullies. But I sooooo understand how frustrated she is with this and can only take so much teasing so I just listened to her and let her know I' was sorry she had a tough day today. (i probably would reacted the same way!).

We did have a stint of home shcooling for about 5 weeks due to medication issues (and I'm a strong supporter of home schooling in general and will be homeschooling our youngest). I learned a lot in those 5 weeks and I'm strongly considering just homeschooling her after this year is out. Just to at least get her through jr. high where teasing is typically the worst. Also, statistically she stands a strong chance of her symptoms lessening as she gets through these early puberty years so she may benefit with some time off to just focus on her studies, build her self esteem (she would still be very involved in dance and youth group and she's got a great set of friends).

Thank you for posting your experience. It really helped me become more convicted that I do want to homeschool. the public school system is AWEFUL at holding people accountable..let alone teaching morals. I too have never been to a high school reunion and plan to never go to one. And I was part of the 'cool' crowd! Day of graduation I left hs and never looked back. I was never a bully and was never bullied. But my heart always broke for those who were and I never had the guts to stand up for them. :-(... I guess now I need to stand up for my daughter. problem with jr. high is the more I get involved the worse it gets for her so I'm taking a step back for these last few weeks!