The Imperfect Community

[DietCokeHead]

OK, I need some advice. I really really really want to quit work. Today would be nice, but I will have to stick it out until May

Did anyone else go from 2 working parents to one and have to cut corners to make it work? Most of the SAHMs I am friends with have husbands that earn an assload of money, so it was not that hard for them to give up their jobs and still pay bills, buy groceries, etc. My husband makes somewhat less than an assload. How will I know if we can make it work or if I will have to whore myself on the side to buy diapers?????????????????????

[honeybee]

I didn't see this before I wrote in coffee talk...

We went from being a 2 income family to 1. We did cut some corners, like eating out and going out. We did a lot of that and now we do very very very little. That was bound to happen anyway with two little ones (the going out stuff). We cut back on cable, no HBO anymore. Our one indulgence is fast internet. I'd cut out the cable all together but dh refuses. That's fine. I have my internet, he has his tv.

I don't need nice clothes to stay at home. My Old Navy shorts and tops work just fine. I live in flip flops. Those are cheap. My working clothes were a much bigger expense.

I live in a small town with not anything to do. There is no where to drive within 50 minutes to do something fun, just a couple parks that are within easy walking distance. So that allowed us to only keep up registration and insurance on one vehicle. My Honda has sat in the garage since before Owen was born. We are thinking of selling it, not sure what to do quite yet, it's paid off...we can't make up our minds.

I make babyfood. It's easy and it's cheap. I breastfeed, that's free. I use generic diapers almost all the time, those are half the price of Pampers/Huggies.

I sell crap on ebay. Though that money rarely sees our bank account because money sitting in my PayPal account just burns a whole in my cyber pocket and I always find stuff I need to buy with it!

I keep my bargain radar up all the time...I buy all my ink cartridges on ebay. The same Epson inkjet cartridge that ran us $30 at Sams Club costs $5 on ebay. It works just as well and lasts twice as long! Stuff like that helps out the bottom line.

[julymom]

The best thing I can tell you is to try it. Instead of spending the money you make, put it in the bank and live solely off your dh's check. Make cutbacks where you need, but don't touch the money in the bank. If you can manage that until May, you'll know you'll be fine after you quit working, plus you'll have a nice chunk of money in the bank!
We went from 2 incomes to one while I was still pg, because I got put on bedrest at 3 months. My dh is in the military and God knows they don't pay the military enough. He doesn't even make half an assload and we do just fine. If it weren't for my shoe obsession, we'd probably be wealthy.
Oh and no whoring myself for diapers even though it's totally legal here. Hmmmm....I could afford more shoes if I did though.

[Petulant Pixie]

JM's advice is good.

But, also budget, budget, budget. You can cut some corners here and there and whittle down your expenses. Some months with us are leaner than others. Pay the bills first, then set aside your allotted grocery (including diapers, etc) money, and then budget the rest.

[Scout]

I was sure we couldn't afford for me to be a SAHM. When I was pg with Somerset, I knew I was not going to keep teaching and have 3 in daycare, but I felt like there was no way we could swing it. At first I thought I would pick up a few shifts bartending or something in the evenings, but I am not a good one for self control so I figured the restaurant employee lifestyle was a bad option at this point
So I decided to start my own business. As it turns out, that has mostly cost us money in the big picture, although it helps some with cash flow on a day-to-day basis. So I could have stayed home, is what I'm trying to say. It always seems impossible, but it usually isn't.

[honeybee]

You could also start stocking up on some stuff now, while you have your income. Start buying diapers on sale and just stockpile. Tape the receipts to the packages so if you end up needing to exchange a size you can do it easily.

If you have self-control (which I lack considerably), you could just put a set dollar amount each paycheck on a giftcard to Target or wherever that would be used for diapers and neccessities when #3 is here. A giftcard takes up much less space, but then you can't take advantage of good sales prices or coupons that could come up in the meantime.

You have from now until May to figure out if it works. JM's idea was a great one. If you don't do that, start documenting where all your money goes every month. If you write checks for everything, your check register would work. Then you can get a very clear idea of what you buy each month that is just 'extra' and figure how to spend less in other areas.
Doing it for many months will help you get a more accurate view of things. Take into consideration extra expenses like Christmas and birthdays, and once a year expenses like car registration, property taxes, etc.

[DietCokeHead]

Thanks for all the tips everyone! It is nice to hear from those who have done it. It's scary thinking about a huge change like that but I am really wanting it.

[Annie&MegsMommy]

I agree with a previous post....put your salary in the bank for a few months to see if you can do it. When we went from two incomes to one we had to cut out a lot of extras. We used to eat out two or three times a week, buy new clothes every week at nice stores (JCrew, Banana Republic, GAP), have high speed internet, drive brand new cars, etc... Now we eat out two or three times a month, buy clothes when we need them and usually at Old Navy or Target, use dial up for surfing the web and we haven't bought a new car in three years. I am just as happy not spending a ton of cash as I was when we did, so it was totally worth it. Now I spend my days taking walks with my kids, reading and keeping our house organized. A great trade off in my opinion. Good luck!

Shelby

[honeybee]

[Princesso]

You could not spend your salary, put some in savings, and use the rest to pay off your cars or whatever outstanding debt you have so that you will save the money on the payments. We do it on one salary, and since I 'm a teacher, you know how little we have to spend for four people. But you learn to manage, and we still are able to do little treats here and there. We have to pay rent instead of owning our own home, and that is the biggest thing I wish we had.

[DietCokeHead]

Annie, are you still think about SAH next year?

Well, this whole not being pregnant anymore thing has really put a crimp into my plans for a maternity leave, lol. ( I miscarried in Oct if you are new here and wondering that I meant by that). So, I am not sure. We are trying to conceive again and I am thinking that I will work up until I have a baby, assuming that ever happens. That way I would get my position back a year from when the baby came. If I just took a year off (I could use Jack's new Celiac Disease as a medical reason to request a leave of absense) then I am not guaranteed my same position back. I love my position and my school, etc, so sticking it out a while until I can take an actual maternity leave might be best. I don't know though. Can someone get the magic 8-ball out and tell me what to do?????????

[honeybee]

Awe, Annie, I'm sorry...I know I hate when I don't know what's going to happen, and can't plan things out...I imagine that's gotta be driving you bonkers.

If you do find someone with that magic 8 ball, send it my way, will ya?

I'm going a little nutty. If dh does not get the job, I will certainly be having to go back to work. And it just occured to me today that my credential will expire in Sept of '06 unless I complete 3 more courses. Which means if dh does not get this job I will not only need to get a job, I will also have to return to school. Which also means that we would most likely NOT be having any more kiddos.

Blech. The whole thing makes me want to puke.

[Rebecca_R]

I keep my bargain radar up all the time...I buy all my ink cartridges on ebay. The same Epson inkjet cartridge that ran us $30 at Sams Club costs $5 on ebay. It works just as well and lasts twice as long! Stuff like that helps out the bottom line.

Holy shit I did not know that! You know what Melissa? You are really fukkin useful!

[DietCokeHead]

I'm going a little nutty. If dh does not get the job, I will certainly be having to go back to work. And it just occured to me today that my credential will expire in Sept of '06 unless I complete 3 more courses. Which means if dh does not get this job I will not only need to get a job, I will also have to return to school. Which also means that we would most likely NOT be having any more kiddos.

Blech. The whole thing makes me want to puke.

That makes me want to puke too, I am sorry. When will he know about the job??? Sept 06 is a long way away, can you do online courses or video courses while you are home to keep your certificate up to date? Then you wouldnt have to do work and school at the same time??

[honeybee]