WTF?! Toy Roundup

Design Your Own Basketball Kit
by Design Your Own — $19.99

From the geniuses who brought you the Design Your Own Football and Soccer Ball comes the Design Your Own Basketball Kit. According to the box, “this kit combines sports and crafts in a most innovative way”. Finally! My son was asking me the other day, “Dad, why do basketballs only come in orange?” Well, not anymore son, not anymore!

And simple, too! Believe it or not, the instructions only include 13 steps. Now, doesn’t this sound like fun? “The paint is injected into the basketball (using a special paint injector through the air valve) when swirled around – creates a tie-dyed effect or a starburst pattern of colors.” Step 13? “Repeat steps 6 – 12.” Hoo-whee, nothing says you’ve got game to the other kids on the court more than a basketball that looks like Bon Jovi’s pants.

Mighty Beanz 6-pack Game Original Series
by SpinMaster — $6.99


Loosely classifed as a game, Mighty Beanz (the “z” gives them attitude! Xtreme Beanz coming soon!) enters into the “collectible” realm ala Pokemon cards. Cleverly designed in pill shaped form for easy swallowing by little brother, these Beanz contain what we think is a repelling magnet that makes them jump and roll around when they get near each other. All we know is they don’t work like the good ol’ fashioned Mexican Jumping Beans (we didn’t use Zs then, and we liked it!), which, of course, contained a little worm that moved around until it died, making them fun, creepy, and sad all at the same time. Here’s the rousing endorsement for the latest Beanz on from little Abbie in Maine: “Anyway, why did they waste the plastic, i mean little kids around the world might need plastic for some reason, so why waste the plastic used for ‘Mighty beanz’?”

Abbie, the world may never know.

Crocodile Dentist
by Hasbro — $16.99

Guaranteed to keep your kids entertained for seconds, this game lets them experience the exciting world of reptilia dentistry — that is, if by “dentistry” you mean pushing on a tooth until it recedes back into the gumline. Here are the rules: each player takes a turn pressing on one of the crododile’s teeth, until one of the teeth causes the mouth to close. Hilarity ensues. Can’t you just wait until the kids ask you to play this with them? And you thought Hungry, Hungry Hippos was boring.

This game is recommended for ages 4 and up (can you imagine the look on your 7-year-old’s face when you give them this?!), but we can’t see this interesting anyone older than the toddler set. Brilliant target marketing, guys!

Marshmallow Peeps Marshmallow Maker
by Wham-o! — $14.99

Ever find yourself daydreaming about Peeps, and wishing they were available all year ’round and not just Easter? Nope, we haven’t either. Despite this, Wham-o, the creator of the Slip ‘N Slide, has added this Marshmallow Maker to their Wham-o Foods (doesn’t that sound appetizing) division. Just pour in the “sanding sugar” and some water into the extruder, and in just a few minutes you have your very own Peep! Make 123 batches, and this bad boy practically pays for itself!

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