Teach Your Kids to Swear!

Pottymouth Therapy

Photo: sxc.hu

Photo: sxc.hu

You know how good it feels to let out a resounding @#%$! Why should little Junior or Janie go without such relief? Swearing is fun, and it’s good for you! Health benefits include increased circulation, elevated endorphins, and an overall sense of well being. Plus, there are no nasty side effects!

Much of the problem with ADHD, dyslexia and other learning issues is just plain old frustration. Throw away the Ritalin, because now your kids can receive drug free, old-fashioned help for their low frustration tolerance without a trip to the pharmacy!

Some parents are gifted in the profanity department. Others need help with obscenity. Once they learn, they can teach the kids themselves.

To begin, stop censoring yourself. Let the cuss words fly wherever and whenever you please. Kids will pick up on this and start swearing on their own. Watch their little shoulders drop and the tension leave their bodies with each resounding expletive. It’s not only cute, its therapeutic!

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If you can’t seem to break the habit of holding your tongue in front of the kids, consider this nifty trick. Strap them in the back seat, make sure they’re tired and hungry, then venture out into rush hour traffic. Inevitably, someone will cut you off. Between the other drivers and the kids whining and complaining you’re sure to slip. After your first time, it just gets easier and easier to go with the potty mouth flow.

Of course, children will need to be instructed that some people don’t like swearing, and that it could get them into trouble. Teach them to weigh the health benefits vs. the repercussions of getting kicked out of the Boy Scouts, Sunday school, etc. Consider this a learning opportunity, a chance for your little angel to experience choices and the consequences of their actions. Sure, some mamby-pamby kids might opt to go all goodie two shoes, but with constant support from parents, you’re child will eventually learn how to swear.

Of course, Grandma won’t like it, but $#*%@ her! She could use a little cuss therapy herself.

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