| Category: Columnists |
Mominatrix
The Mominatrix reviews the OhMiBod Freestyle
By Kristen Chase
Sex and music are intimately bound so it's no surprise that someone decided to connect them almost literally in what could be deemed "The Music Lover's Sex Toys" or as they're known in the sex business, OhMiBod. These super smart toys allow...read more |
| Category: Columnists |
Mominatrix
2010: A Sexual Resolution
By Kristen Chase
UPDATE: The sexual resolution has begun -- see the list below or follow the Mominatrix along over at our blog.
Before you write one more well-meaning resolution that requires hours on the treadmill, an expensive gym membership, and squeezing your ass...read more |
| Category: Columnists |
Mominatrix
The Mominatrix's Quick Guide to Real Porn for Parents
By Kristen Chase
Over the years, pornography has gotten a pretty bad rap from women, and for obvious reasons. For the most part, it's aimed at the male audience which tends to display women in a submissive and objectified position.
But as women's appetite for porn has...read more |
| Category: Columnists |
Mominatrix
Mominatrix visits the Liberator factory store.
By Kristen Chase
Thanks to the invention of Internet, it's probably been a pretty long time since you've set foot in a sex store. And in most cases, especially if you're a parent, that's probably a good thing. It's hard enough trying to find enough time to get your hair...read more |
| Category: Columnists |
Mominatrix
Bringing sexy pregnancy back.
By Kristen Chase
While sexualizing moms into MILFs has definitely become a questionable trend, the idea of turning a pregnant woman into a seductive stripper has presumably yet to be introduced outside of the members-only sex sites.
Until now.
Yesterday afternoon...read more |
| Category: Columnists |
Mominatrix
Mominatrix reviews the HBO show Hung.
By Kristen Chase
These days, parents don't have to peruse the stacks of DVDs at their local sex shops or corrupt their hard drive with downloads upon downloads of porn to add a little spice to their decidedly bland bedrooms.
Sure, if you want to watch some chick get...read more |
| Category: Columnists |
Mominatrix
Can men and women be 'just friends'?
By Kristen Chase
Even before Harry and Sally discussed it on their long lonely car ride east, the age old question as to whether men and women can be "just friends" stumped even the most brilliant scholars.
Some say "yes" while others say "absolutely...read more |
| Category: Columnists |
Mominatrix
Using frank language with your kids.
By Kristen Chase
Sexually related words have always been the bastard children of the English language. Granted, most of them are kept a secret for good reason. But even the less controversial terms still seem to get a bad rap.
Utter the words “vagina”...read more |
| Category: Columnists |
Mominatrix
The little blue pill -- does it do anything?
By Kristen Chase
If you’re wondering why your husband suddenly has the sexual stamina of a porn star, you might suspect that he’s doing some sort of masturbation interval training to help improve his overall endurance.
But then again, he’s probably...read more |
| Category: Columnists |
Mominatrix
Bedtime stories, Mominatrix style
By Kristen Chase
If your schedule is anything like mine, then the last thing you probably read was the label of the children’s Tylenol bottle. Reading has become sort of an ancient art – a ritual celebrated by DINKS who have so much time on their hands that...read more |
| Category: Columnists |
Mominatrix
G Marks the Spot
By Kristen Chase
It’s nothing short of a miracle that between staring at tiny little butts and repeating yourself 427 times all day long you actually have the desire to have sex. So if you do, chances are you’re not that picky about what kind of orgasm you...read more |
| Category: Columnists |
Mominatrix
You'd be surprised what moms are fantasizing about.
By Kristen Chase
If you peeked into the sexual minds of moms these days, you’d be surprised to see what they’ve been fantasizing about. Well, other than a month’s worth of free house cleaning and one full night of uninterrupted sleep of course.
The...read more |
| Category: Columnists |
Mominatrix
How not to get pregnant.
By Kristen Chase
If you’re just trying to catch your breath before getting knocked up again or are still deciding whether you’ll be adding more to your brood, you should probably consider using more than the pull-out method for birth control. And for the thousandth...read more |
| Category: Columnists |
Mominatrix
Heal the World Through Sex Toys
By Kristen Chase
With the economy bottoming out and parents stashing their pennies under the mattress, the idea of spending money on sex toys is probably not an option. If you’re struggling to pay your mortgage and can barely afford to feed your family, a whopping...read more |
| Category: Columnists |
Mominatrix
Shave the Date: No Bush Left Behind
By Kristen Chase
digg_url = 'http://www.imperfectparent.com/mominatrix/shave-the-date/699_1/';
My fellow Americans. Regardless of how you voted this past Tuesday, the timely exit of President Bush should be something we can all agree on.
And for such a momentous...read more |
| Category: Columnists |
Mominatrix
Frankengina
By Kristen Chase
When it comes to scary moments, motherhood can beat out any horror movie hands down. A woman in labor could drown out even the best scream queen’s shrieks and Chucky is way cuter than a colicky baby.
Of course, most moms have been more than...read more |
| Category: Columnists |
Mominatrix
Orgasmic Birth
By Kristen Chase
If you’ve been wondering where the hell your “Big O” went, apparently you might want to consider giving birth naturally. According to Orgasmic Birth, a new movie featuring personal vignettes and expert opinions from various well and...read more |
| Category: Columnists |
Mominatrix
Daddy, what are you doing to Mommy?
By Kristen Chase
All’s fair with love and sex until that wee one you produced after long months of robotic sex or that one drunken unmemorable screw is old enough to walk in on you doing the dirty deed.
Here’s hoping you’ve been putting aside money...read more |
| Category: Columnists |
Mominatrix
Those cheatin' hearts.
By Kristen Chase
It seems that you can’t open a newspaper, magazine, or hell, an email from a friend and not read about a politician’s wife, a celebrity’s spouse, or someone close to you suffering at the hands of their husband’s wandering eye.
Or...read more |
| Category: Columnists |
Mominatrix
Getting lucky.
By Kristen Chase
It’s no secret that today, 08/08/08, is considered the luckiest day this year – thousands of superstitious couples are scheduled to get hitched and hordes of preggos are being offered huge prizes just to pop one out. Lottery lines are already...read more |
| Category: Columnists |
Mominatrix
An added benefit to nipple piercing
By Kristen Chase
Most women will tell you that the nipples are the gateway to getting in their pants. But after having them tugged, grabbed, and pulled by a baby or toddler, for some women, they end up acting as nothing more than a decorative boob ornament or temperature...read more |
| Category: Columnists |
Mominatrix
Mominatrix Sex Toy Smackdown: Travel Vibrators
By Kristen Chase
With summer travel in full swing and moms already packing their fair share of battery operated toys for those long hellish family trips called “vacation,” the last thing they’ve got room for is their own collection. And with days spent...read more |
| Category: Columnists |
Mominatrix
Mominatrix Salutes the Good Ol' USA
By Kristen Chase
The 4th of July rings of beaches, barbecues, and beer, all in the name of good old American patriotism, of course. But instead of watching daddy lose a finger with a bunch of illegally purchased fireworks, why not set some of your own off in the bedroom...read more |
| Category: Columnists |
Mominatrix
Dealing with a globetrotting spouse.
By Kristen Chase
With my own spouse gone most of the week and millions of other women playing single parent in one capacity or another thanks to military deployments and numerous companies requiring business travel, I’m betting that sex toy sales must be sky rocketing....read more |
| Category: Columnists |
Mominatrix
Mommy Mammaries
By Kristen Chase
After two pregnancies and a combined three years of breastfeeding, my boobs have definitely seen better days. Granted I’m not yet picking them up off the ground and tucking them into my elastic waist band pants, but a bra is definitely required...read more |
| Category: Columnists |
Mominatrix
Review: Hair Care Down There Ultimate Shaving Kit
By Kristen Chase
While you’ve been off trying to recover from Spring Break, the traditional start of summer has arrived. And other than the countdown for wild children chasing you around for a straight three months beginning, it means one thing – Bathing suit...read more |
| Category: Columnists |
Mominatrix
Kickin' It Old School.
By Kristen Chase
For many expectant mothers, the 2nd trimester does indeed bring with it a joyous and blissful renewal of body and spirit. Clearly it’s still not all puppy dogs and rose petals. But if you’ve been puking your guts out, or like me, suffering...read more |
| Category: Columnists |
Mominatrix
Sex for One, Again
By Kristen Chase
I can’t count how many times I’ve picked up a self-help-your-sex-life book and read that getting away without your kids more often than not is the key to a fulfilled love life. Really? You mean one whole night where my where my spouse and...read more |
| Category: Columnists |
Mominatrix
Pleasure is just around the corner.
By Kristen Chase
Contrary to popular belief, it’s not just porn stars, ass men, and that ambiguously gay college boyfriend of yours who just so happened to own every single Cher album that like the butt play.
Regular old moms like the butt action too.
Granted,...read more |
| Category: Columnists |
Mominatrix
Touch Me, Baby
By Kristen Chase
When you’ve been stuck for however many hours a day being bugged, badgered, and bothered by little hands grabbing at you from every direction, chances are the last thing that you want is to be groped by your well-meaning spouse. I’m not quite...read more |
| Category: Columnists |
Mominatrix
Sweet, Sweet Fantasy, Baby
By Kristen Chase
If you ask any mother about her sexual fantasies, chances are they’d probably have more to do with sleep than any specific sexual act.
Is my husband masturbating in the shower while I sleep soundly for the entire night still considered a sexual...read more |
| Category: Columnists |
Mominatrix
It's the Final Countdown.
By Kristen Chase
I’m not sure I remember exactly when my husband and I had the dreaded sexual history conversation. It’s not like one of us kept count of our past conquests in some spiral bound Garfield notebook or anything.
Who does that?
And while...read more |
| Category: Columnists |
Mominatrix
Valentine's Day, Mominatrix Style
By Kristen Chase
I have to admit that I dread Valentine’s Day every single year. Maybe I sound terribly unromantic to complain about a meaningful box of chocolates and a dozen insanely overpriced roses that don’t make it past the end of the week, by which...read more |
| Category: Columnists |
Mominatrix
Blow Off Your Duty
By Kristen Chase
I recently likened giving fellatio to making brown-bag lunches for your spouse. It starts out as this beautiful gesture that you offer to him, and then becomes an obligation. And when it’s expected, it’s not so beautiful anymore but instead...read more |
| Category: Columnists |
Mominatrix
Jingle Balls
By Kristen Chase
The balls, testicles, gonads, or whatever you’ve christened them are probably one of the more mysterious aspects of sexual play. Most of us have spent our time trying to figure out the long and short of the penis thus leaving the testicles out of...read more |
| Category: Columnists |
Mominatrix
Shrinking your echo chamber.
By Kristen Chase
We here in the United States are definitely a nation of big. We pump anything that walks with silicone and hormones, and admire the large and in charge because everything is better when it’s bigger.
Except vaginas, that is.
Dear Mominatrix,...read more |
| Category: Columnists |
Mominatrix
Sex for One.
By Kristen Chase
As a person who’s been in and out of relationships like a revolving door, I admit to not being much of a masturbator. Call me lazy or just plain crazy, but I have to say that sometimes it’s way easier to just have someone else do it for you...read more |
| Category: Columnists |
Mominatrix
Moms and Dads can play dress up, too.
By Kristen Chase
Unless you met your spouse at a Trekkie convention, chances are that trying to get you to dress up as something other than a tired overworked mother might be pretty tough. That doesn’t mean I’m not in support of role-playing and fantasy in...read more |
| Category: Columnists |
Mominatrix
Porno for Parents.
By Kristen Chase
Aside from the recommended date nights that married parents are sick of hearing about, sex therapists seem to be jumping on the porn wagon.
When in doubt, go watch porn.
I don’t really have a problem with porn for the most part, and it can certainly...read more |
| Category: Columnists |
Mominatrix
Little Squirts -- I'm not talking about your kids.
By Kristen Chase
I’m all for equal rights, particularly when it comes to the bedroom, but I must say I’m perfectly fine with my fairly uneventful orgasm. And by uneventful I’m not referring to boring or even quiet. I’m talking about clean.
For...read more |
| Category: Columnists |
Mominatrix
The Cone: Not Just for Soft Serve Anymore
By Kristen Chase
I’d like to think that parents don’t need kid-friendly sex toys. Just because I’m a mom doesn’t mean I need a dildo that moonlights as a teether. And while the idea of a vibrator that has a lullaby setting doesn’t sound like...read more |
| Category: Columnists |
Mominatrix
Love in an Elevator? Try Skipping the Bed for Once
By Kristen Chase
As a college student, the bed was the last place I thought about using for sexual purposes. It cradled my body after a few drunken escapades, but as far as the horizontal mambo, the bed equated old married people with kids. So I saw my fair share of interesting...read more |
| Category: Columnists |
Mominatrix
What lies beneath.
By Kristen Chase
I’ve often wondered what goes on behind the bedroom doors in suburban America. Is the frustrated mom of two who drags her son out of the mall by his backpack a swinger by night? Does the clean cut mother of four who plants her flowers in obsessive...read more |
| Category: Columnists |
Mominatrix
What happened to my husband's sex drive?
By Kristen Chase
Thanks to the hordes of whiny housewives who can’t stop bitching about how they have to fend off their husbands’ nightly sexual advances, the few women with spouses who’d rather sleep it off than beat it off are left wondering what the...read more |
| Category: Columnists |
Mominatrix
This dose of advice is to be taken orally.
By Kristen Chase
Ah, the blow job – it’s a housewife’s bargaining chip, a gay man’s mainstay, or a college student’s virginity saver. Call it what you want, but the blow job has served its purpose in society since before a penis was called...read more |
| Category: Columnists |
Mominatrix
Sex after childbirth.
By Kristen Chase
As if squeezing out a kid from our nether regions isn’t penance enough, we must suffer through our first few months as a mother with leaky boobs, a sore butthole, and the worst symptom of all, low sex drive. Our little eight pound load is finally...read more |
| Category: Columnists |
Mominatrix
Good girls have pubes.
By Kristen Chase
I remember the days when I could spend as long as I needed to create the perfect pubic coif. Nothing fancy, mind you, just fairly tamed and perfectly contained within the confines of the underpants.
But now I have kids and I barely have time to wash...read more |
| Category: Columnists |
Mominatrix
Sex and the single mom.
By Kristen Chase
Even though we’ve got at least one person (baby, teenager, hell, even our husbands) attached to our hip, most moms would say that motherhood can be a very lonely existence. But when it comes down to it, most of us have a shoulder to cry on and someone...read more |
| Category: Columnists |
Mominatrix
Talk dirty to me.
By Kristen Chase
If the post-partum sex is still actually occurring in your household and is not a figment of your imagination or hasn't manifested into the form of an online porn addiction, then either you must have an incredibly sound sleeping child or you’re...read more |
| Category: Columnists |
Mominatrix
The Taboo of Sex
By Kristen Chase
If you’ve got at least one little mini-me running around after you, it’s fairly obvious that you’re getting some. I liken it to wearing your heart on your sleeve; a pregnant belly practically screams sex. Everybody knows you’re...read more |
| Category: Columnists |
Mominatrix
Playing for the other team.
By Kristen Chase
I’m not quite sure why some men are surprised when after years of quick bangs, skid marks, and foreplay that involves bra snapping and ass scratching, women decide that what they really need is the comfort of another woman’s bosom.
Going...read more |
| Category: Columnists |
Mominatrix
Mominatrix comes in a plain brown wrapper.
By Kristen Chase
I've read the complaints about the internet when it comes to opening up the sex world like a Pandora's box and truly, there's something to be said about the local porn addict having 24-hour access to way more than your typical old hard core group band...read more |
| Category: Columnists |
Mominatrix
Vortex Vibrations sucks -- in a good way.
By Kristen Chase
While I’d like to think there’s always room for sex toy talk over cheez-its and wine at your weekly playdate, chances are you never get past the boring weekly round up of bad poop explosions and breastfeeding blunders.
Shopping for sexual...read more |
| Category: Columnists |
Mominatrix
A Woody With a Hoody Feels Very Goody
By Kristen Chase
Unless you studied a year abroad in Greece or are married to an old country Italian stallion, chances are you haven’t had the pleasure of a woody with a hoody. Other than a random meet and greet or a quick flip through a Robert Mapplethorpe book,...read more |
