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A Call to Arms and Breasts

Are you a Lactivist?

By Stacey Greenberg

If I had continued to produce milk, I had wanted to breastfeed to at least eighteen months and possibly age 4. Unfortunately, I was unable to and dealt with some depression over the inability to breastfeed my child as long as I had wanted to do so. Taking a child off the breast before a year is strictly an American idea. Only in America are parents encouraged to separate themselves from their children from the start. No wonder there are so many attachment disorders. Okay...putting away the soapbox...

Posted by: Brandy Stoner | Apr 25, 2006 15:49

Great article! I too became a lactivist as I became a mother. I had no idea until that day how powerful breastfeeding can be! In fact, upon the birth of my second baby, breastfeeding inspired me to write a children's book about breastfeeding; Near Mama's Heart. I hope all babies get the chance to be Near Mama's Heart, if only for a day! Happy Mama's day to you! Warmly, Colleen

Posted by: Colleen Newman | May 14, 2006 20:41

I think I might be the complete opposite of you! But I support your right to be whatever kind of parent you want to be. Check out my article on "Detachment Parenting." It's at the bottom of my column "Mother Magnetism."
Best,
Kelly Reising

Posted by: Kelly Reising | Mar 20, 2007 18:16

While I agree that we should be more supportive of b'feeding for all of the reasons you stated, I can't stand the term "lactivists" and find it outright hostile. Perhaps because I've had nasty experiences with self-proclaiming lactivists. When I was told that I couldn't 100% breastfeed my son by both our pediatrician AND a lactation consultant, I received angry recriminations from these moms. I "wasn't breastfeeding right" or "trying hard enough." It made an already devastating and disappointing situation even worse. I would get the evil eye when I pull out a bottle of formula at the playground, one mom even "tsked." They made me feel like I was poisoning my child instead of nourishing him. I could care less today about these loonies, but during my hormonal postpartum days they caused a lot of crying in the shower. This kind of extreme, close mindedness is the downside of any movement, and it can actually turn supporters away. Just wanted to post a warning to other "lactivists" out there. Don't judge!

Posted by: Anne | Feb 25, 2008 11:32

Breast is best, but, not always possible. My sister a great parent, tried with all her might to breast feed, but had inverted nipples, etc. And finally had to resort to formula. Her son is a happy wonderful child, but has had a lot of ear infections, colds etc. I was able to breastfeed, until 8 weeks, but was forced to stop because of postpartum OCD. I wish my doctor had tried to put me on meds that would not have affected my milk, but I was in such a state I could not help myself. Much of my depression etc. was relieved from getting much needed sleep, that formula allowed. My son though even from these few wonderful weeks of breastfeeding, never had an ear infection, was never sick as a baby, and remains very healthy. Breast feeding is awesome, do it in public, and don't be shy, but don't feel like you have to hide if you use formula, loving your child is what matters most.

Posted by: tiehea | Apr 26, 2008 11:13

Lactivist? Good for you.

I get really tired of people saying "breast is best but not always possible..." as though those of us who couldn't breastfeed for whatever reason (medical, choice or otherwise) are not giving the best to their children. Pregnant women aren't really given a "choice" whether to breastfeed or not - it's more of a really string push in that direction with the whole "well, if you don't want to..." and the gift of free formula as you leave the hospital.

Please.. those of you who do advocate nursing your child, for those of us who chose not to (or otherwise), give us a break. We really do feel bad because we don't do it - especially since everyone insists that it's the best thing to do for your child.

I just don't think we should feel bad for what remains an individual decision. It's the pressure put on you from the moment you find out that you're pregnant til the moment you hold your child in your arms (and then some) that does it though.

Thank you for your point of view, but as a "lactivist," you should also realize that it's an individual's choice as to whether or not she chooses to nurse.

As to you doing it in public, I salute you! Absolutely! Don't let anyone tell you not to nurse in public :) But please remain modest about it, if you don't mind :)

Posted by: Kari Wolfe | Jul 14, 2008 22:29

Breastfeeding is not a choice. Having a child is, however, up to the individual. If women don't want to breastfeed then they should not have children. Breasmilk is the first food of human infants - period.

Yes breastfeeding is very hard. Yes mom's are tied down, exhausted etc. I had two bouts of very bad mastitis while my second child was an infant. I knew that my body could not take nursing a third so I am done. How can I, in good conscience, have anymore children when I can no longer safely provide food for my baby?

If women don't want the hassle of feeding their babies they can simply choose not to have any.

Posted by: Jen | Sep 04, 2008 15:10

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