1. Jody

Oct 23, 2006 20:37

I can totally relate. I hate it when strangers, or even family tries to correct my children. It feels very condescending.

2. Deryl Seymour

Oct 26, 2006 18:57

My thoughts on this subject is that at times it is okay to let children know when something they are doing is inappropiate but at times you feel that people are commenting on your poor parenting skills. I live in a small first nation community where elders would not hesitate to say something to your child in front of you concerning your childs behavior in public. They believe that it reflects badly on the nation that we represent (at all times). I feel that at times when it is only to complain about kids, kids are only young once and we do not represent the nation at all times when in the city or at a major functions. Sometimes people should just learn to swallow their comments when dealing with the youth or kids will refuse to participate and will learn not to even go near the cranky elders who are always yelling at them for no reason, but just to yell because they don't like the family the kids come from. I see that in some of the elders who are just picking on specific kids regardless of what was done. These elders will always find something wrong no matter what the situation is.

3. Ruth

Dec 02, 2006 01:58

I used to be so sensitive, and kept out of other parents' way. Then I discovered that too many parents don't respond if their kids are destructive in some way to mine. Now I feel free to jump in and guide a child, or even challenge one. If the child's parent is present, I wait for them to respond. I may ask a question first, but ultimately I'll be clear with the kid about basic community respect, and I'll point out my children's friendship as the motivator. I do try to talk the child up in any situation, and keep it constructive. I've had children steal from mine, breaking things intentionally, hitting and hurting...someone has to speak. These issues fall through the cracks in school all the time. One 9yr. old girl I babysat said she was going to bring this (paint stick) home to her mom to spank her with. Her mom did not believe in spankings. This girl told me she was serious, because then she'd know what was right and wrong. If we don't come together as a village, I'm sure we'll regret it.

4. Julianne

Dec 23, 2006 10:41

This was an interesting read. I have to say that I am an unabashed interferer when it comes to other people's children. I have been known to yell inappropriately at children in public places that are engaging in behavior that puts my child's safety at risk. I try to let the parents handle it but, if they smile and chuckle at their incorrigible children then, as far as I'm concerned, that is a green light for me to get my discipline on :)

5. AnaBanana

Feb 20, 2008 21:46

I miss the days when neighbors - who at that time knew one another - were all parents, all on "the same side" and could send a misbehaving child home, knowing the parents would enforce the lesson as well.

Tougher now, but there are still plenty of times you have to say something. One little boy was running around like a maniac in a restaurant, causing genuine danger to servers carrying huge and dangerously heavy trays high above their heads - the parents completely ignored it, though they obviously knew. I glared at him and sternly said, "Go sit down. Now!" I'm not remotely sorry, as he'd just nearly brought a tray of sizzling fajitas on cast iron sizzling skillets down on his own and other patrons' heads, and the server clearly wasn't sure how to react.

No, there are certainly times to interfere. And quite honestly, I wouldn't have minded the old woman telling the child to say thank you...except that I had drilled those kind of manners into my kids enough that people were always stunned at how polite they were, so she wouldn't have had time to say it lol. Other times, such as a couple times my son got away from me and took off running, he as well as I took a scolding (sometimes when it really wasn't my fault either.)

All in all it's like you say - it really quite depends.

6. AnaBanana

Feb 20, 2008 21:49

Might I add on the other hand, as pointed out by the author of the recent "Childfree" article, some people simply hate children and are completely ridiculous in the standards they wish children to adhere to. (Which often go above and beyond the behavior they demand of adults.) If one such opens their mouth to me or my child, I have no problem telling them to STFU.