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Everyone's Opinion

It takes a village -- a nosy, busybody, opinionated village.

By Jennifer Grissom

SO well said. You can't please everyone so you might as well please yourself. (completely ripped off from some country tune but oh so true!) I wish more mothers realized early on that these are THEIR children and what you feel is best for them is not to be shamed or questioned.

Posted by: amyinbc | Jul 14, 2006 01:38

I heard so much crap from people when I was pregnant. Stuff like, "Don't stretch your arms over your head," and "if you have heartburn, your baby will have a headful of hair." Completely idiotic things like that. I never got any good advice and learned that I had to listen to my own instinct and to tell everyone else to shut up or to f*ck off. People aren't ever as well-meaning as we like to think.

They always have opinions, and once they see that you don't give a rat's ass about what they think, then they will start to ease up on their "advice." The proof of your wisdom will show in the connection you have with your child, regardless of whether you breastfed for 8 months or had a repeat C-section.

I did find that people tend to try to control the behavior of others because they often feel that they themselves did something wrong. They want to live vicariously through you. Some just want to be know-it-alls who get validation from telling you what to do, or they think that if you do something differently that you will judge them for how they did things. Their insecurity is so transparent and toxic that it can make you crazy if you let it.

How your baby comes out of your body is between you and your doctor. How you feed your baby is between you and your baby. Are the people who dole out "well-meaning advice" gonna pay for your kids' braces or college tuition? Will they take off from work to stay home with them when they are ill?

Ask them that, and when they say "no," tell them they have no right to even have an opinion about what you do.

You go, girl.

Posted by: Michelle | May 12, 2008 13:56

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