1. Michelle Wallace

May 15, 2006 15:59

This is a well-written article but I do not agree with most of it. Breast milk was created for babies; artificial milk is just that - an artificial substitute. It is good to know that you and your baby are doing well with it, though.

2. Danielle Foster

May 15, 2006 17:35

I enjoyed reading about your take on formula feeding; you made some very good points. However, I still contend that breast milk is best; there are nutrients in breast milk that formula cannot duplicate.

On the flip side, when I decided to nurse my daughter, most of my family and friends thought it was a mistake. My husband was my only supporter, and I am very grateful because I ended up developing a strong bond with my daughter.

3. Jennifer Foote

May 15, 2006 17:52

When I had my daughter I tried breastfeeding, but I was unable to do it for more than a few weeks. I felt absolutely awful based on what everyone had said. I wish your article had been around then; it would have made me feel much better about the situation.

4. Diane Penna

May 15, 2006 18:23

Hi Victoria. You'll be glad to know I agree with your article. Both my girls were breastfed 2-4 weeks, and all the reasons given for "breast is best" do not hold true to my children. I was also on anti-depressants, and with my second, painkillers for an injury caused by pregnancy. Both my girls are well-adjusted, healthy children with normal attachments to both parents. In addition, they are bright. My 6-year-old is gifted and her younger sister is following in her footsteps. It is a fact that the nutrients found in breastmilk have been duplicated. DHA and other important amino acids and proteins are found in the same proportions in formula that they are in breastmilk. What is best for every child is up to the parent, and I applaud you for standing up to your right to choose the best course for your child.

5. AmyLopan

May 16, 2006 05:40

I am a nursing mother to a 9 month old and I love it. I'm a lactivist through and through and I found this to be a great article! Guess what- I completely agree with you. If there is a chance that Paxil can affect your baby through the milk, then your choice to formula feed is a responsible and noble one.

Breast may be best, but baby needs a sane, happy mother first! PPD is not to be ignored- you made the right choice.

6. Courtney

May 19, 2006 03:32

Great article Victoria! I am a formula feeding mom, but not by choice. I think that our side of the story was well represented in your article and I wish others out there would realize that formula feeding does not make someone a bad mother. Breast is best, but not always possible. Formula is not the same, but a good alternative for those who can't breastfeed.

7. EmmaLee

May 30, 2006 13:49

This was a great article. I think it illustrates how much thought mothers must employ when deciding how best to feed their infants, and the challenges they may face. It's one thing to laud breastfeeding as the healthiest choice, but not to the extent that it insults those women who cannot or choose not to ... Formulas today are nutritionally balanced and allow babies to thrive, moreso than decades ago when it was the NORM to bottle-feed. My daughter was in the NICU for 3 days after a difficult delivery, and despite my protest, the nurses there insisted on giving her formula/bottles - which I believe sabotaged our breastfeeding success from the beginning. I went through weeks of guilt over not being able to feed my baby the way I had planned for nine months, and it took a lot of support from family and articles like these to convince me that I'm still rearing a healthy child, formula and all.

8. Tressa

Jun 13, 2006 01:30

I have mixed feelings on this issue. I couldn't wait for my daughter to be born so I could nurse her. She nursed beyond the moment she learned to even say "nurse." We both had a difficult time weaning. She's turned into an incredible 6 year old. Due to nursing? Maybe. Who knows? I do know she took a while bonding with her father. Due to nursing? Maybe. Who knows? Nursing was perfect for us. Her meals were always ready and the perfect temperature. Except when I ate something that didn't agree with her, her stomach was never upset like when we used formula those few times. (Goodbye to Coca-Cola!) Of course I recommend nursing, but I would like to think I wouldn't criticize someone for making the choice not to nurse. Since my experience was so wonderful, it's rather hard, though, to comprehend why someone would choose not to nurse. However, I'm glad that your choice was the right one for your family.

9. Timberly

Jun 22, 2006 14:51

Although you have the right to your own opinion, you're wrong about something.... It's a clinical FACT that there are over one hundred key componants of breastmilk that formula can NOT duplicate... And I'm not saying this as a "crazy breastfeeding hippy" because my daughter gets about 3 or 4 bottles of formula a week because I can only pump so much at work.....

Anyway, that's pretty much all I wanted to say.... I'm not totally opposed to formula, as some women have no other alternative, but I still think all women should at least give it a try. It IS what's best for your baby.

10. Abby Krug

Jul 05, 2006 22:34

Brava! Great piece. I am astonished that women are so guillable as to think that breast feeding their children is as important as they are being led to believe. The argument that breast milk is best reminds me of the way I have to coax my children to use the potty: "Oh sweetie, look at what you can do!" This incessant drumb-beat for breast feeding is silly at best, infantilizing at worst. I am dissappointed that women can't see past the coersion and accept that each of us makes the best decision we can.

Sure we can breast feed children and that is wonderful. But thank goodness we can formula feed them as well and that is a fine choice as well. It has been tried and true for generations of American and European women. Pity the women who live in parts of the world where they suffer from malnutrition- making for poor quality breast milk and these same women live in areas with poor water and poor formula as well- leaving them with a real problem. Maybe we should give infant nutrition some more serious thought instead of brow-beating one another over whose milk is best.

11. CrankMama

Sep 03, 2006 16:28

Kudos to you for making the choice you did. The way people choose to feed their babies is no one's business. Period. It's only in our country that people feel totally comfortable judging another for such a personal choice. It's how you feed, not what you feed that matters.
Rock on, sister!

12. double-mommy

Sep 14, 2006 14:21

Thank you for your article. I have nursed one of my girls for about 11 months, however now I have a 3 week old and a toddler on my hands, and even though the breastfeeding was sucess previously with only "so-much-of-me-going-around" now, the formula is entering our world, and I do not feel guilty about it at all. Breastfeeding trully is not for everyone, or at every moment. Formula is just as good, when needs arise, especially when chasing a toddler and trying to provide the most productive day for your children when staying at home with them.

all the best.

13. Robin

Sep 15, 2006 22:57

You know I've always wondered why the majority of breastfed babies must receive vitamin supplements and formula fed babies do not. Where in the "breast is best" mentality does this fit?

I absolutely loved your article, as well as many of the responses. I too attempted, unsuccessfully, to breastfeed my daughter and dealt with incredible guilt for weeks when I finally made the decision to throw in the towel. I also dealt with PPD and took antidepressants. The combination of not being able to breastfeed (something I had whole heartedly decided on during pregnancy) and PPD is something that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. To top that off with the whole lactating community snickering at every bottle I proudly fed my daughter just added to my enormous guilt.

We now have a happy, intelligent, curious 19 month old little girl who loves to dance. She was not at all affected by all that formula. We have now decided to try for number 2. I can already say with confidence that any future children of mine will be formula fed. I do not need to justify that decision because it is the one I'm making for me and my family and it is nobody else's business.

Thanks for writing such an informative article.

14. Leslie

Oct 19, 2006 19:44

Excellent article. I both breastfed and used formula with my son (now 13 months old) because I had a horrible, persistent case of thrush that made it incredibly painful to breastfeed full time for the first two months. I initially agonized over feeding him formula, but then I read about how many chemicals from our environment, our drugs, and our food are in breastmilk anyway. Jet fuel and carpet cleaner, anyone?

I do believe breastmilk is best for most people, but it's by no means best in all cases--nor is it the pure substance we're made to believe it is.

15. Shera

Nov 11, 2006 21:33

absolutly disgusting!

i am astonished at the women who simply say that it's "their decision if they want to breastfeed and would do it again"

you only say that because you must defend your selfish attitude...yes there are reasons as to why breasfeeding can be made more difficult for some mothers...as in c-section delivery, infections, breast shape, illness

but with perseverance most of these hurdles can be overcome...and by the way breastfeeding is nature's way of almost preventing post-partum depression and NO formula is not a near duplicate of breastmilk!!

and the person who said that breastfed infants need vitamin supplements and formula feeders do not???...where the hell did you hear that??...completely false!

only in America would you find such disgusting propaganda against children's and mother's rights....formula is NOT okay for the average infant....it should only be reserved for extreme cases of infant nutrition when even then donated breast milk is an option or a pump to express the mother's milk to be given to her infant by a bottle

shame on you who praise formula feeding.....breast is best period...no excuses

16. prescott

Nov 16, 2006 10:09

Wow, Shera, judgmental much? It's folks like you, running around wagging your finger yelling, "FOR SHAME!" and wanting formula-feeding mothers to wear large red Fs on their chest that give rational breastfeeding advocates a bad name.

And if that's your attitude towards others' parenting choices, then honey, you are at the wrong website.

17. Tanya

Nov 20, 2006 12:09

"I am astonished that women are so guillable as to think that breast feeding their children is as important as they are being led to believe."

Who exactly benefits when a mother breastfeeds her baby? Of course we benefit by having healthier people in our world. But who benefits when a mother formula feeds. Big, rich companies who just want your money and do not give a damn about you and your baby. Look at the happy little baby in the advertisement. They do not show the baby in Africa who is starving because the formula companies gave their mommy free formula just long enough for her milk to dry up and now she cannot afford to buy the formula she is dependent on. As a women I am pissed off that formula companies think I am a moron and they can con me into buying their stupid product with their fancy ads. They are trying to convince women that we are not good enough to take care of all our babies needs.

19. Brandy

Nov 22, 2006 21:40

First of all, thank goodness for infant formula. Since the days of wet nurses have passed, it’s marvelous that we can feel sure our infants will be fed in case a mother is deceased, traumatically injured, has HIV, must take medication that would make it unsafe to breastfeed, etc...

However, this attitude that it’s just a matter of choice, is ridiculous. Mothers who are able to breastfeed, but choose to formula feed should feel guilty. They’ve chosen to feed their child a food that won’t provide immunities to lessen the incidences of ear infections, colds & other bacterial & viral infections, won’t lessen the child’s chances of having virtually any disease or disorder that may run in the family, won’t insure that the child has the highest IQ, best eyesight, best hearing that their particular child is capable of having (I could go on & on). Not to mention the money it saves directly (cost of formula) and indirectly (savings in healthcare, etc...).

It’s time for those choosing formula to stop jumping on the breastfeeding mothers... all we’re trying to do is educate & help other mothers to do the best for their children... we want the best for our children & yours.

20. prescott

Nov 25, 2006 15:39

Brandy -- do you really think Shera and others above were trying to "educate" the writer of this piece? Ms. Munn is not "jumping on the breastfeeding mothers", merely countering all the hateful and judgmental bile spit out about mothers who choose to formula feed.

21. thordora

Nov 28, 2006 10:38

It's funny-someone always trots out the "formula fed kids are sicker" argument. Neither of my children were BF for longer than a week due to PPD, and one has been ill twice in three years, and the other, never. Using that argument in an attempt to gain some sort of leverage for a "better than you"argument is repulsive.

Women have enough problems to contend with regarding childbearing and rearing-do you really need to add judgemental holier than thou attitudes to it? It's none of your business. PERIOD.

I refuse to carry the guilt around-and I'm glad I'm not the only one.

22. Gaby Dolores

Jan 28, 2007 16:47

I sympathise with women who can't breastfeed, or who choose not to from a lack of confidence that breastfeeding is best for their babies because I think both they and their babies have been deprived of a unique and important part of the experience of early parenting and infancy. It's desperately sad that so many women who want what's best for their baby have so little understanding of the difference between 'best' and 'second best' that they deliberately choose second best assuming (wrongly, as the author does in this article), that the differences are trivial.

When I read articles about feeding choices the thing that always strikes me is how the baby's perspective is almost never considered. Breastfeeding is a very different experience from bottlefeeding - for the baby, not just for the mum! Some babies might have difficulties with breastfeeding (because of problems with latching on, tongue tie or the shape of thier palates) but the vast majority want to breastfeed instinctively. Denying them the opportunity to behave instinctively by scheduling and controlling feeds (something that's intrinsic to bottlefeeding)changes their experience of the the very early transitional part of their life and not for the better! It also denies them the pleasure of fresh milk that changes in taste and consistency subtly from day to day, substituting this with a bland, reconstituted product that is always the same, that sometimes constipates them and which is 5 times as likely to land them in hospital with gastro-enteritis. Surely this is a 'quality of life' issue for babies? No they don't complain, and no you generally can't 'see' the difference it makes to them, but to feed a child on a processed, artificial product as their sole food for the first few months of his or her life? How can the decision to do that have become something that's made so lightly by so many people?

As for the author's assertion that men who artificially feed their babies bond better with them than the fathers of breastfed children - well she would say that wouldn't she! I know just as many breastfeeding women whose husbands have never done a single feed who'd strongly refute this view (myself included - I have 3 children who my husband has never given a bottle to). In the end anecdotal evidence of this sort doesn't cut it anyway - women are always loyal to their choices. The fact is that research evidence shows much higher rates of family breakdown and parental estrangement in families where formula feeding is the norm. I'm not arguing that there's a causal relationship, but it's still worth pointing out.

23. Eleni Katsarou

Mar 28, 2007 05:14

I love the way everyone in this thread throws around statistics as though they are gospel, but nobody bothers to cite their sources so we can check their figures. Dogma is not the same as fact!

I breastfed for 3 weeks and it was a struggle. At the best of times my baby still needed some formula to satisfy her hunger throughout the day. At 3 weeks my milk finally completely stopped.

My mother had the same problem, so I know it is genetic. I tried my best to breastfeed my daughter for as long as possible, but once my breastmilk stopped, the only alternative to formula would have been starvation and death. Reading the comments of some of the breast-nazis on this site, I think they really would have preferred that! Only the strong survive would be their sick reasoning.

Formula is fine. My daughter is developing way above the norm, and is alert, intelligent, and full of life. I am sure that breastmilk IS better, but some of us just can't provide it, and that's nobody's business but ours.

24. Katie Johnson

Mar 29, 2007 03:12

Eleni I am sorry but you are wrong. You are a typical result of this generation's lazy attitudes. God made us to be able to provide milk to our babies, as much as they need, for as long as they need it. Breastmilk doesn't just "stop" unless you started cutting down how many times you fed your baby or used the breast pump. Was it a bit too tiring for you? A bit boring? Would rather be out with your friends shopping and drink cappuccinos? Well the result of your disgusting attitude is that your baby, who you obviously don't care about as much as you should, will ALWAYS be at a disadvantage to breastfed children. Way to go in getting her off on the right foot! People like you revolt me, you should not be allowed to have children.

25. Laura

Mar 29, 2007 10:33

Bravo, Victoria! I FF my son and will FF my new son when he is born. Honestly? You couldn't pay me to breastfeed. I breastfed my son all of three days and was full of such loathing for not only the act, but him as well! It got to where my blood would run cold every time he cried. After FF? Problem solved. Yes, I'm one of those evil mothers who CHOSE not to breastfeed, and I don't regret it for one second!

26. Kris

Apr 04, 2007 04:44

Formula has not been around that long. There are too many recalls on it, so I will not give it to my children, powdered formula is also not sterilized, only the ready to feed formula is sterilized.If you can't breastfeed then try and pump. If you can't breastfeed for a medical reason, then so be it. People are in denial when they say that formula is just the same or just as good as human milk. We all know that it is not. People just need to say. "Hey I didn't feed my child human milk, because I just didn't want to." Just like the mother who stated that her blood would run cold when she would nurse her child. She also called herself an evil mother. Her words not mine. So be it. That is strange. I have never heard of a mother who became cold at the thought of her innocent baby touching her. But in our society the human breast has become so sexualized it is ridiculous!

So if a person chooses to formla feed when they can give their baby human milk, their loss but more sadly their baby's loss also.

You never know what is in formula, you don't know what the cows are being fed, what they are eating or if they are being injected with a hormone, etc. Also, for the soy formula, you don't know what goes into growing the soy beans. Are they using pesticides, what are they putting in the soil?
The FDA does not RECOMMEND formula. The FDA's statement is that formula is "adequate for nutritional value". The FDA also states that infants should be given human milk, especially in the first year of life. I mean, I can eat tortillas all day and drink water and take a supplimental vitamin, and still be able to function, but is it the "best" for me? No it isn't..(no I am not saying that tortillas are like formula, but you get my point?). Human milk changes with your baby, it is best for your baby. Baby's were born to drink human milk. Baby's were born to breastfeed. It is a natural instinct.
Just for thought...humans are the only mammal that will give their young another animals milk....PIGS WON'T EVEN DRINK COWS MILK...go figure...

27. Tatyana Malyutin

Aug 08, 2007 15:02

Thank you Victoria,

Finally somebody stood up for mothers who choose alternative route.
I am a daycare provider for infants and toddlers, and a mother of two wonderefull children ages of 29 and 22 years old.
With both my experiences as a teacher(more then 70 children past through my daycare over the 12 years of opperating) and a mother I have my own "statistics" and observations about this subject. And my conclution is it's more a DOGMA than a proven fact that breastfeeding is a crutial factor in health and development of infants and toddlers. I've seen breastfed babies whose health and development was NOT the best(as breastfeeding advocates apply). And I've seen FF babies who were as healthy as can be and were reading books at 2,5 years old. From all the children in my daycare I had only 4 who was breastfed. These were most difficult children I had (starting from digesting the mother's milk and finishing with developmental issues).
As a mother I also had a hard time breastfeeding, but most importantly both of my children had a hard time with my breasts. Every feeding they would cry and turn away from me and I could not understand why. I had enough milk for twins, it was good quality milk (I am not a smoker or drinker and wasn't on any kind of medication) and yet they didn't like something. But we both struggled till 5 month old. So speaking about bonding in bitween mother and child, it started just at the moment I started to give them formula from the bottle. Seems like all there problems disappiered at once.
Now my daughter gave a birth to her baby a month ago, and she's still struggling with breastfeeding. Her nipples are still on fire from the pain, the child cries on the top of her lungs everytime she has BM, but she affraid to stop this agony becouse of public opinion. I DO NOT appreciate what this opinion is doing to young mothers like my daughter. That is wrong!!!!!!!!!!! If YOU want to breastfeed your child and have a wonderfull time with it - it's great, but NOBODY HAS A RIGHT TO CRITISIZE MOTHERS FOR THERE CHOICE OF FEEDING THIER BABIES!
BTW none of the families in my daycare whose members were doctors were practicing the breastfeeding. Isn't that interesting?

28. Gale

Aug 10, 2007 02:07

The reality is that currently in our society, young mothers who breast feed in public are often the ones being judged for doing what is naturally their right. They really are more defensive about what they are doing than they are judgmental about those who feed their babies formula. Bottle-feeding moms aren't asked to leave public places.
I am 50 years old. My 83-year-old mother breast fed her babies in the 1950s and I breast fed my children in the 1980s. We had help to learn how to breastfeed. It takes patience and it helps to have a coach, especially a family member who has experience nursing a baby.
In my opinion, a compelling reason to breast feed is that it may keep you from being a victim of breast cancer. Every one of my mother's friends who died from breast cancer did not breast feed their babies back in the 1950s. When was the last time your mother was asked at her mammogram session if she breast fed her children? It seems that nobody keeps track of this.
But if you knew that breast feeding might be a factor in fightiing off this terrible cancer, wouldn't you be proactive and try to save a life by encouraging a young mom to breast feed her baby?

29. Tatyana Malyutin

Aug 13, 2007 10:24

I lived in Russia most of my life.
I don't know about current situation, but back in years when I had my kids absolute majority of former Soviet Union women were breastfeeding their children (Just because we didn't have any formula, and when it appeired in the stores around 1970s public opinion was not much in the favor on this product). I can't bring exect statistics about russian women, but I am sure the ratings of contracting the breast cancer are not much different from around the world. The reason I think so is because I always was awere of some of the friends or family member or somebody else who had it. It was and still is a big scare of Russian women. Though I do not argue that breastmilk IS the best natural food for the babies, I still do not see any harmfull effects of the formula either.

30. Erin deGraaf

Aug 23, 2007 22:12

You are seriously misinformed the safety of medications for nursing mothers and apparently don't understand the severity of the known risks of artificial feeding. You implied that you did your homework on the subject, but clearly you did not. Kudos to your doctor for attempting to give you decent medical advice. If you choose to smoke in your baby's presence, or while pregnant, you should expect the doctor to press you on the issue.

31. Carita Hroziencik

Sep 05, 2007 17:52

I'm actually shocked how defensive mothers are who formula fed. I breastfed my son for 22 months and currently expecting my second child. Although, I believe it is a personal decision on rather or not to breastfed or use formula I just believe there are numerous factors involved in making such an important decision. My mother used formula with all her children (she had eight kids) and when my husband and I decided to have kids I wanted to attempt breastfeeding because it is best. My husband is the most supportive man in the world and really encouraged me to do so despite all the ridicule I encountered from mothers who formula fed. Breastfeeding is such a wonderful experience (unlike any other) that I believe all women should want to experience. But, I believe in this day and age where the roles of women are completely altered women view it as a task in their already complicated life. Breastfeeding is a scarifice but one that I'm totally glad I made. One other point I wanted to bring up after reading a lot of the comments is what's up with ignoring all the health benefits for mom and baby that breastfeeding provides? Don't we argue which diet is best? How much organic food is better for you than processed food? Are women just pretending to be oxy morons? Of course breastfeeding is better than formula; despite all the research, it's plain old common sense too. Whatever your choice be comfortable with it. I don't think that Ms. Munn is an evil person for using formula. She had health concerns about her mental stability and I believe a healthy happy mommy equals a healthy happy baby. But, it does sadden me when women after infallible proofs (scientists can't even tell you all the components that breastmilk have) defend formula companies. Formula companies don't care about children, just making money.

32. Nancie

Oct 24, 2007 23:51

I always tell someone who's not sure what they're going to do to at least try breastfeeding first, since they can always switch to formula later, but you can never switch to breast later.

As for personal experience (I breastfed four kids and I'm currently breastfeeding the fifth), all of my kids didn't get sick much until they weaned, even if the others were passing around a bug. None of them are obese or have any serious health issues.

However, breastfeeding is just one piece to the health puzzle. If you breast feed and then plop the kid in front of the TV feeding them burger and fries, I'm sure their IQ and their health would not be so good. The same with bottle feeding. If you bottle feed but give them a strict diet and plenty of stimulation (such as music and art), They would turn out much better than the breastfed kid who watched TV and had a steady diet of junk food.

33. Amanda

Oct 27, 2007 11:58

Hmm ... so let me get this straight, you can be on the drugs while you're pregnant, which can pass through the placenta and harm the baby, but you don't want to be on them while you're breastfeeding. I think you just wanted an excuse to erase your guilt. Maybe you shouldn't have a baby if you're not ready. The fact that you're encouraging mothers to bottle feed is just disgusting. You can be a bad mother but don't ask others to be.

34. Amanda

Oct 27, 2007 12:11

Oh yeah, it is a FACT that breastmilk helps with a babies health. A mother's breastmilk is full of white bloodcells, million in each feeding. Does formula have while bloodcells? Exactly. Formula is bad for a child no matter what they add to it.

36. Amanda

Oct 28, 2007 22:06

Wow, you have a smart child, that doesn't mean anything. You can teach any monkey to be smart. Breastmilk is found to make a childs IQ smarter by about 10 points, that isn't the difference between genius and mentally retarded. Maybe you weren't breastfed as a child, you could have used that extra 10 points to make a smarter choice.

There is more that just smarts that go with breastfeeding. Take this for example: "Formula feeding is the longest lasting uncontrolled experiment lacking informed consent in the history of medicine."

Frank Oski, M.D., retired editor, Journal of Pediatrics

There are so many terrible things that can happen with formula feeding. So your child is intelligent, but does she have stomach issues? Did she have them when she was younger? Did she spitty up constantly? Have acid reflux? Thats just one major problem that formula babies have.

There are so many elements of breastmilk that formula can never live up to. Fats, protiens, carbohydrates, immune boosters, vitamins and minerals, enzymes and hormones, and cost... to name a few. Please find a list or even a few example where breastmilk is bad for the baby. You can't! A baby can't even be allergic to breastmilk! All there is to it. Do you research first.

37. Jen

Nov 02, 2007 19:45

As a mother, i try my hardest to not judge other moms because everyones situation is different. HOWEVER

If you want to formula feed, then do it. Its not as good, everyone knows that. If you choose to anyways then dont try to justify it, because there is really no reason for it. I had trouble breastfeeding everyday for a month, but i pushed through it for my baby. There are DHA and other various duplicated things in formulas, but its makes up less than 10% of the important fatty acids in breastmilk. The antibodies, is definitely proven, and sure having antibodies doesnt always protect you, just like the flu shot doesnt always stop the flu, it might its less likely and less severe if you get it... its just like that..

I mean really.. IF you want to formula feed, then go ahead. But dont try to make the breastfeed mothers or doctors or other people feel bad, for wanting you to breastfeed too, cause we all know its best... Sorry but its the one time i understand being a little pushy...

As for the Paxil issue, all literature that i have read has said that even IF minute amount did get into the milk, the milk would still be better for your baby... Now what does that tell you about formula, PAxil filled breastmilk is better than formula... sounds like formula cant be that great now eh?

39. Amanda

Nov 03, 2007 19:15

Here's a nice little bit of evidence that breastmilk is better: http://discovermagazine.com/1999/jun/featcancer/article_view?b_start:int=0&-C

I don't even feel like doing anymore research. People who formula feed, outside of those having an ACTUAL medical excuse, are just lazy. Since when did it become okay for a baby to be "fine". Just because they didn't die doesn't mean that they didn't miss out on so much more. Sure your baby maybe be "smart", that doesn't mean she couldn't have been smarter. She also probably could have been healthier. Not to mention the long lasting bond she would have gained from the breastfeeding relationship.

Your pills were just another excuse to pop a bottle in your baby's mouth and go out partying or doing whatever else you thought you deserved to do. I'm sure you were all sorts of happy when your baby learned to hold that bottle by herself, because then you could do whatever you wanted while your baby bonded with a bottle and a thick yellow substance trying to pass itself off as being half as good as breastmilk.

In all cases breastmilk is better. Obviously you, and people like you, shouldn't be having children. When you have a child it's no longer about you, it's about them. Breastmilk is better for your child hands down, it doesn't matter if you don't like doing it. Get over yourself. Anyone that can giver themselves to a man but not a child is just sick. I feel bad for your child, but hopefully your selfish traits don't rub off on her.

40. Brandy

Nov 09, 2007 15:38

Here ya go...

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/sites/entrez?cmd=Retrieve&db=pubmed&dopt=AbstractPlus&list_uids=15121986&query_hl=8&itool=pubmed_docsum

is death harmful enough for you?

You won't really find a study that states infants are "harmed" by being formula fed because it's impossible to do a true controlled study. Each infant is unique and since you can't both formula feed and breastfeed the same infant, you can't really know what "harm" was done to any particular child by choosing formula. But, study after study of large numbers of children have shown that breastfeeding can decrease the risks of practically any disease. So, as a mother, it's my goal (and duty, really) to know that I have given my children the advantages of being breastfed. One of the benefits I get out of the deal is that if they are afflicted by any illness/disease, I can know that it's not because they weren't breastfed. However, a formula feeding mother cannot have that same assurance... whether we're talking ear infections, tubes, asthma, diabetes, SIDS or cancer. Not something I'd want to live with.

41. Leona

Dec 02, 2007 16:16

i have to chuckle about the antidepressants... as 1 person pointed out, you're taking them while pregnant. you're baby is recieving those meds inutero and can experience that withdrawl after birth. and here's something else for ya... try weaning off of the antidepressants. i'm bipolar with a slew of anxiety issues and have managed to care for my mental health without meds (2 1/2 yrs now) starting with the pregnancy of my daughter and continuing through nursing and my current pregnancy . don't be lazy, make an effort to care for your mental health (and that means do a little research, change your diet, and train your brain). as for the other "problems" listed with breastfeeding - latching problems can be corrected with the help of a consultant and less than 5% of women truly have problems with supply. the rest is caused by the woman's lifestyle (diet, stress, etc) and can be corrected. (go look it up. you obviously don't care to do any research yourself). and supplementing only decreases the supply. the synthetic nutrients in formula aren't easily absorbed by infants and they aren't able to use all that they're being fed. it's called bioavailibility. look it up. as for "my kid's fine"... how old are your kids? are they grown yet? my fiance was bottlefed and though has an IQ of 152, he has severe chronic respitory issues, is obese, and has a slew of other medical problems (though was "healthy" as a child). despite my daughter being breastfed, her father has a great bond w/ our child because he spends a large amount of quality time with her. feeding isn't the only thing needed to care for a child. to the childcare worker: i've worked childcare, too (and gone to school for child-development, as well) & you aren't paying attention (or not doing your job). there really are differences. and this word "smart" is bs... just because your kid can recite knowledge doesn't mean they can apply their cognitive functions appropriately. educate yourselves people!! don't be lazy!

42. Leona

Dec 02, 2007 21:30

OH!! and breastfeeding being the cause of breast sagging is a total myth, too... here ya go.

http://www.pregnancy-bliss.co.uk/breastsize.html

http://www.beautynationpl.com/en/info_en.asp?pageID=breast-changes

http://www.007b.com/bra_sagging.php

http://www.4woman.gov/editor/2006/08/

http://www.mothernature.com/Library/Bookshelf/Books/32/16.cfm

43. Rachel

Dec 04, 2007 22:41

Here's an anecdotal fact: my son had a goopy oozy eyeball for five months. The pediatrician said that it'd go away once his nose grew (it was a blocked tear duct) and we spent the first five months of my son's life wiping his eye every twenty minutes. Sometimes he'd even wake up with his eye gooped shut, it was chronic.

I read that other mothers squirted breastmilk into the baby's eye and it cleared the gunk. Two applications later, my son's tear duct had cleared. I'd hate to see what would happen if I squirted formula in his eye!

I frequent a message board that had the Breastfeeding forum and the Formula Feeding forum side-by-side. The Breastfeeding forum is full of moms worried about supply, sore nipples, blocked milk ducts, breast infections, workplace pumping rituals, and other questions on how a mom might get through related issues.

The Formula forum is full of baby acid reflux and the medications they're on for it, moms spending all kinds of money trying to find the right formula that won't upset their child, horror reports of what is found in the baby's diaper, constipated babies, babies with stomach rumbles, and comments about the smell of formula, and how if it smells gross it must not taste all that swell either.

The Breastfeeding forums don't always make it sound like a lot of fun for the mom, but that's what moms do, they suffer if it means the best for their children. It's not supposed to be the other way around.

44. Michelle

Dec 07, 2007 14:33

After reading all of the posts, I'd like to address a few issues.

Chemicals in breastmilk: as another poster wrote, these same chemicals are also concentrated in the fatty tissues of cows, thereby being passed into their milk. So the chemicals or pesticides in breastmilk will also be in formula. However, a mother who follows a mostly organic diet and uses eco-friendly products in her house has much lower concentrations of many substances in her milk. Pesticides (not to mention genetically modified soy) is present in soy formula since almost all soy in the US is GM except for organic.

Obesity: the reasoning behind the statement that breastfeeding MAY help prevent obesity is that infants can self-regulate their appetites. There is no encouraging them to empty a bottle. Breastmilk has different fat amounts throughout the day, and the infant's sucking can also determine the amount and calorie/fat content of what's being drunk. The child learns to trust his own appetite.

Vitamin Supplements: Many doctors encourage these because they see the differences in iron and vitamin D in Breastmilk and Formula. However, what many of them do not take into consideration is BIOAVAILABILITY. Sure, breastmilk is much lower in iron, but the absorption rate is around 60%. The iron in formula is absorbed at a rate of between 4-10%. The rest is excreted in the feces. Vitamin D can be easily obtained by a few minutes of sunshine. Otherwise the amount in breastmilk is sufficient. If the child lives in a cold climate or is dark-skinned, supplementation may be necessary. But this is the exception, not the rule. As far as fluoride, systemic fluoride has its own problems. Fluoride is best applied directly to the tooth surface and then rinsed and spit out. Supplementation can very easily lead to even mild cases of dental fluorosis.

IQ: The study which supposedly established that breastfeeding raised IQ by an average of 8 points had a few flaws. It has been widely discredited in the scientific community, but the nursing community hasn't been so quick to accept the news. Flaw number one: the sample size was pitifully small. Flaw number two: researchers didn't account for the mothers' intelligence. It is a simple fact that smart parents have smart kids. Genetic issues may be at play here, or it may be that smart parents simply parent differently and have higher standards. Flaw number three: incomes were not considered. Families with higher incomes have more access to enrichment activities which have been shown to increase a child's intelligence. So they were not able to prove or even to find a direct association between breastmilk itself and intelligence.

Insufficient milk syndrome: it's not hereditary. And it's extremely rare. Usually not having enough milk is attributable to infrequent nursing and inadequate length of nursing sessions. The mother who expects her newborn to go 3 hours between feedings is the mother who discovers that she "just can't produce enough".

A woman who is put off by breastfeeding will feel even more animosity if she is pressured or forced to breastfeed. What do you think this will do to her ability to parent her child? Sure the mother who breastfeeds is saving money and resources, but for every mother she criticizes for making a different choice, she loses the right to say she is making any kind of difference.

Who among us is perfect? Who among us eats only whole grains and organic produce and never lets an ounce of saturated fat touch our lips? Who never forgets to recycle? Who never occasionally yells at the kids? It's easy to say what YOU would do in a situation, but walk a mile in someone else's shoes.

The game of parenting is a tough one. You do what you can to make it through and come out alive. You make tough choices and hope that you can look back one day and hope they were the right ones. Having people judge you and insult you for doing it differently than they did is like a slap in the face when all you want is for your child to be healthy and happy and for you yourself to enjoy a little piece of life along the way.

Now I'm a little bit of a boob nazi myself. But all of this bickering and back-biting may be one reason why women aren't taken as seriously as we should be. We're too busy kicking each other in the teeth.

This is HER baby. SHE is the one who has to get up in the middle of the night with him/her. SHE has to pay to put braces on the kid's teeth. SHE has to drive him/her to school and pay for college and clothes and poisonous toys from China. ;-)

Give the woman a friggin' break.

Oh and congratulations on your baby.

45. Michelle

Dec 07, 2007 14:52

Just wanted to add that with a few meds, sometimes they may be present in minute amounts in mom's milk and undetectable in baby's bloodstream.

I do hope everything went ok with the pregnancy. Everything I've read about Paxil gave me the impression that the risk was greater during pregnancy. There are even a few lawsuits and FDA investigations. Maybe it's just sensationalized?

I did want to mention the antibiotics and potential hormone traces in cow's milk. I guess the same reason people steer clear of conventional milk would be the same reason I would be concerned about cow's milk formula. These companies need to make formulas safer and purer. Regardless of the reason they are used. A mother who chooses to formula feed shouldn't have to worry about antibiotic resistance and hormone exposure.

46. Tina Schamp

Jan 23, 2008 15:34

thank you for your comments they helped me alot i felt so be littled when the nurses asked me if i was going to breastfeed and i said no you should of saw there face they looked at me as if i were a bad mother i felt so embaressed and upset

47. Franchon

Feb 05, 2008 01:03

wow....... point blank although breast is best a mother who chooses to feed her baby formula is still a good mom who are you to judge her? she chose to keep herself sane for the sake of her child!!!!!!!!!! Any person in their right mind would say she did the right thing, but calling her selfish and saying she is making excuses is childish and ridiculous.

48. AnaBanana

Feb 12, 2008 01:20

I'm surprised the concept of human milk banks hasn't even come up. If it's really so dangerous to be on Paxil while nursing (odd that it wasn't so dangerous it needed to be discontinued during pregnancy) and *your* milk isn't good enough, then milk banks are the answer. They need to be far more widely available to everyone who truly needs them.

By the way, artificial feeding (chemical formula) is the *fourth* best according to the American Academy of Pediatrics, not the second best. First is nursing, second is mother's milk pumped and bottle fed, third is human milk from a donor/milk bank and chemical formula is fourth. "Breastmilk is best" is far from a mantra, it's simply the truth. What do you say, "Hey, fourth best is good enough for me!"

Oh, and that DHA and ARA (only two of the latest things they've found that are superior in breastmilk which was never BEFORE in formula) - the DHA and ARA in formula are extracted from fermented algae and fungus with the synthetic solvent Hexane, a neurotoxic chemical, and mixed with safflower oil, diglycerides and nonsaponifiable materials. Chemicals do not approximate mother's milk, I'm sorry.

When I nursed my babies, I have to say that the prejudice then was *against* nursing, and I got plenty of hell from people FOR nursing. You ought to be glad the situation has turned around; it's bad enough the prejudices that still exist for nursing mothers (such as being kicked out of restaurants, given poor advice from doctors who really don't have a clue, etc.)

"A formula fed infant may not get the ease of digestion that an infant drinking breastmilk does, but they definitely get the same amount of nutrients."

Er...basic biology here. He may *take in* the same amount of nutrients (except totally not) but because they are not properly *digested* he does not actually *get* the same nutrients. You see, if you really understood digestion this would be obvious to you from your own statement. If I take a calcium tablet and it passes through undigested, it, er, doesn't help me, you see?

Gah, I'm not saying anyone is a bad mother, but jeez, at least let's be honest about this. You didn't want to do it, fine. Own it.

49. Rachel Burrell

Feb 12, 2008 13:01

WOW!! I can't believe how judgemental some people are. I truly believe to each their own. Do I think breast milk should be your first choice? Yes. But never would I say some of the awful things to people that some of you are saying. As a mom who breast fed for only the first few months, I know how difficult it can be. From the get go, I had a very very hard time. But I was lucky. The nurses at out local hospital were more than happy to help me. I had a lactation consultant come in, and then they even sent one to my house for me. And despite all of that, I still had a very hard time. But at least I tried. For that, I can be very proud. My husband and i tried so many different ways of getting breast milk into our daughter. I would pump and finger feed (using a seringe filled with breast milk, she would try to latch onto my finger and then we would insert the seringe throught he side of her mouth)we also tried pumping and feeding with a tube that had a long thin hose attched to it, then we would attach it to our finger again and try to get her to latch properly. eventually I was given a nipple shield from my lactation consultant. Which you attach to your nipple, it makes it easier for baby to latch on by "extending" your nipple. It worked pretty well, but was still very frusterating, if she moved wrong it would fall off. If she sucked to hard, she would suck it right off...etc. So, I pumped as much as possible and ended up substituting with formula. She is now 10 months old and has been exclusively formula fed for the last 8 months. My daughter has never been sick a day in her life...yet, but i knwo it will come, it always does. where I know strictly breast fed babies who have had mulitple colds and ear infectins by the time the were 4 months old. Is it luck? who knows...all i can says is formula worked just fine for my daughter and we need to stop judging. if you want to pull your boob out in public and feed, you should be allowed to do so. same goes, if you want to pull a bottle out to feed, you should not be looked down upon.
its sad how people say that weak minded women fall into a trap...or that formula companies are "evil" because of commercials portraying formula as equivilant or better. i have never seen a commercial that made me believe that formula was better. it's all in how you interpret that information.
with that being said, i'm sure some women will have nice things to say to me, and other, not so much. Just please don't attack me for my decision. You can respond, and state your beliefs, just be kind to each other please. we are all parents and love our children more than anything in this world.

50. AnaBanana

Feb 12, 2008 18:52

Ms. Burrell, can we please refrain from the "pull out your boob" mantra? That's not what nursing women do, and it's a derogatory thing to say. The fact is that nursing women are kicked out of restaurants and stores, whereas NO ONE is kicked out of anywhere for bottle feeding. So let's not compare the real and acted-upon prejudice against nursing with some perceived prejudice against bottle feeding. Unless you'd like to point me to a story of someone being arrested, kicked out of somewhere, etc. for bottle feeding.

51. prescott

Feb 12, 2008 19:17

Here's one, and it's deliciously ironic:

http://thelactivist.blogspot.com/2007/07/mother-who-bottle-feeds-booted-from.html

52. AnaBanana

Feb 13, 2008 16:25

Haha - it actually happened; the exception to the rule. A breastfeeding cafe?? That's a new one, all right. At least, as you can see, even the lactivists thought it was dead wrong to ask someone to leave for bottle feeding. Don't worry, it was a freak occurrence in a freak location and the discrimination will continue to fall, as it always has, on breastfeeding moms.

However, it's still time that people stopped thinking "breast is best" is just a mantra. Chemical feeding is still fourth on the list of ways to feed a baby, and it's way past time to start making human milk banks a viable possibility for those women who *truly* can not nurse. There is nothing wrong with trying to discourage bottle feeding as much as possible, given all that we know now about infant nutrition.

53. Rachel Burrell

Feb 13, 2008 18:15

Anabanana, I am very sorry if that came accross in a derogatory way. I truly never meant that. I guess if you knew me, you'd know that. I am just a light hearted person. When I was pregant, i used to refer to myself as "knocked-up" sometimes. So I am truly sorry.
Secondly, I wasn't comparing breast feeding mothers to bottle feeding mothers. What I was tryingt o say is that a breast feeding mother should have the exact same rights as a bottle feeding mother. Its a beautiful thing, and I don't think any mother should be told not to breast feed in public. For goodness sakes, it's leagal for a woman to walk around topless in Ontario! If thats legal, no mother should ever be told not to breast feed!
With that being said, you cannot tell me that there is only a "preceived" prejudice against bottle feeding mothers. Read some of the other comments, and you will see that there are real prejudices against bottle feeding mothers.

54. AnaBanana

Feb 14, 2008 06:02

No need to apologize; and I see nothing wrong with the term "knocked-up." I do agree that nursing mom's rights should be protected.

As to the prejudice, this is a hot-button issue, and since only 20% of mothers are exclusively nursing at 6 months (and only a third before that) you're hearing the prejudice from the most vocal advocates of nursing; it's not exactly the dominant paradigm. It was only a few years ago that a woman was *arrested* for nursing in her car in a parking lot. Years ago one of Charles Manson's gang was arrested for "felonious breastfeeding in a ditch." Felonious.

My children are grown now, and my perceptions are of course colored by the almost universal negative reaction I got (as well as the almost universal BAD advice both in the hospital and out) about nursing. So I will agree there is prejudice, but there is absolutely still a great deal of prejudice nursing mothers face as well (that I know because I still read the accounts, and the causes of nurse-ins, etc.) Consider the ridiculous reaction that Parents magazine cover got just, what, a year and a half ago? People get completely squicked seeing nursing babies, even in these "enlightened" times, even though chemical formula is only fourth on the list and the WHO recommends nursing for a minimum of 2 years. It's hard not to get at least slightly irritated, with all that we know now, that someone just didn't want to bother, or didn't want her breasts to sag (which, of course, they will, no matter what you do or don't do.) But yes, I do agree you will face some prejudice from nursing advocates, but it's not hard to comprehend considering all the crap they have to face even now, and the militant nursing advocates are way outnumbered. It's kind of like fat people who face prejudice and discrimination only to hear skinny people say, "People make fun of us too!" when the reality is the world is still slanted far in favor of the skinnies. But I do recognize it exists...and those avid nursers are more than likely to come out when faced with an article like this. Just how it works, I guess.

55. Charley

Mar 08, 2008 22:19

I am breastfeeding my daughter (second child) almost all the time, except when leaving home for a couple of hours. I was determined to breastfeed her and I'm doing just that. Breastfeeding is going great.

My son (first child)wasn't so lucky. I had a c-section, and could not be fully awakened for an hour after delivery, so my son's first feeding was formula. When I attempted breastfeeding, I had a hard time, and it hurt my soul--I cried daily because I couldn't get it right. I had a husband who was yelling at me because the baby "wasn't getting full" from my milk, and was suffering from extreme post partum depression. By the time we arrived home, I was only breastfeeding once per day, and by the time he was 3 months old, only twice per week (despite the lactation consulants and breastfeeding class I attended). It didnt make me a lazy, bad mom who didn't need children. I was a 1st time mom who didn't have all the support she needed, and didn't know what to do. This is to the people who are so judgemental and rude, that think people who don't breastfeed are neccessarily lazy. Yes, some are, but others just don't know what else to do.

Other babies just take naturally to the breast (my mother breastfed me not by choice, but because I would not accept the bottle at all, so she had to quit her job and stayed home breastfeeding me for 1 and a half year), and I am a strong believer that you should at least try your hardest to breastfeed, but if you can't, it's better for your baby to receive formula than to drive yourself into depression becasue you can't get the breastfeeding right.

56. Michelle

Mar 19, 2008 14:11

I'm not here to push the old blog or anything, but I did write a little ranting addressing the issue of the "evil formula."

I have known more than a few women who were so high-and-mighty that they couldn't stand to be in the same room with a woman who formula-fed her baby, for whatever reason. There was always SOME reason why they could have done it better themselves. Self-righteous twits they were, I assure you.

I do not direct my comments at anyone on this board, but there are women in the world who are so full of venom toward other women that they only pretend to have a concern for the human race, when in reality it's nothing but contempt disguised as caring.

http://motheringwithballs.blogspot.com/search/label/Breastfeeding

57. Caitlin

Mar 20, 2008 22:50

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!
Ive made the choice not to breastfeed and the only one that supports me is my Boyfriend. I hate it. Im looked down upon because of my choice. And my OB asked me if im going to breastfeed and i said no and then he told me that hes gonna try to change my mind.

Im glad im not the only one that knows that breastfeeding isnt the best thing for your child, LOVE IS!

58. Milk Maker

Mar 22, 2008 16:57

Doesn't loving your child mean doing what's best for them as much as you possibly can? You are choosing to not even try to do the best thing for your child... Loving someone doesn't mean it's ok to provide substandard care for or treatment of them, but hey, that's just my opinion!

59. Leona

Mar 24, 2008 11:32

"This is to the people who are so judgemental and rude, that think people who don't breastfeed are neccessarily lazy."

thought i'd clear things up a bit.... my reference to lazy was to the people who don't bother to take the time educate themselves - too many people don't. i felt that this article as well as many of the comments posted demonstrated that fact rather well.

my prejudices don't lie necessarily with bottle feeding mothers themselves (though i will certainly have my opinions as any person does) but with the EXCUSES and RATIONALIZATIONS that so many mothers fall on.

i was also referencing the laziness behind people relying on medications for "mental health". medications do NOT make one mentally "healthy", they only mask the symptoms.

there have been studies, by the way, that have proven that mothers who take dha supplements during and after pregnancy are less likely to develop post partum depression. there are also studies that have shown that a large number of mothers who do suffer from ppd have copper balances that did not normalize properly after birth.... these things are corrections that are made without drugs!!

as for the safety of psychtropic medications.... there are NO long term research studies on the effects of BRAIN CHEMISTRY ALTERRING medications on developing brains (unborn children and infants). it is considered unethical to test on pregnant women and children, and no study has been conducted on the possible links between learning disabilities and other aspects of cognitive function and these medications... an infant does not come "out of the box" prepared for life... an infant is not able to use logic, reason, able to read, hold a pencil properly, etc... these are things that though are developed later in life, the foundations are laid in the brain quite early.

safety of any brain chemistry altering drugs are only ASSUMED due to lack of evidence otherwise.

60. Rachel

Mar 31, 2008 12:22

Leona:
Let's get this straight, you are prejudice towards a woman who formula feeds, AND makes excuses for it, right? But I would bet if you asked a mother why she formula feeds her baby and all she said was "because I wanted to", you would still hold a prejudice against her. She isn't making any excuses, she's telling you the honest truth. I believe you would still think she's doing the "wrong" thing. And that is the reason why some women feel the need to rationalize why they formula feed. They feel if they come up with a good reason, they will be more readily excepted.
Who are you to say that medications don't make one mentally healthy? Are you a scientist? Not likely. You probably read reports and get out of them what you want. You could have 10 reports infront of you, 3 that say medication does not help mental health and 7 that say medication does, and you will still believe the 3 reports because thats what worked for you. Everyone is different! Just because diet and lifestyle works for you does not mean it will work for some one else.
Your fiancee may have been formula fed and has some health issues, but I bet you could find people who were breast fed and have the same and sometimes worse issues. Personally, I was formula fed, I am 24 and prefectly healthy. I have never had any major illness. I rarely get sick and when I do, it lasts all of a week. Compared to my sister who was breast fed, has problems with depression and asthma. When she was a baby, she had to be on a monitor because she would just stop breathing sometimes.
It's impossible to do a true accurate study on whether or not brest fed babies will grow up to be healthier than formula fed. You can't do a prefectly controlled study. Everybody has different pre-dispositions for certain disorders and diseases. We are all different in so many ways it would just end up being a matter of interpritation. Who knows, your fiancee could have been breast fed, and still have respiratory problems. You don't nor will you ever know that formula is what caused those issues.

61. Bridget

Apr 24, 2008 17:10

I'm so glad I found this article and website. I usually go on the Mothering Forum, but became tired of reading post after post of self-righteous mothers who condemn mothers of use formula. When I was pregnant I couldn't wait to breastfeed, and didn't understand those who didn't. In the hospital after my daughter was born I met with many lactation consultants. My nipples and areolas were bleeding and bruised. Latch-on was the second most painful experienve after birth. My daughter would not open her mouth enough for proper latch. We saw lactation consultants for weeks. They eventually told us we had to supplement with formula. She was not gaining and lost way to much weight. I was also pumping after each feeding, drinking tons of water, taking nursing supplements, and following a breastfeeding diet. I then had to attach a tube to my nipple (SNS) in which daughter could take the formula and breastmilk at the same time thus increasing her sucking ability. Nothing worked. Now I bottlefeed after I nurse her. Feeding has consumed our days. When I tell people about this and even posted this on the Mothering Forum, people always think that they can give suggestions, or (from the Mothering Forum) I should nurse her all day long to get my milk going. Not everybody can breastfeed exclusively. I cried and cried because I couldn't feed my child like "a mother should". To make matters worse people would give me advice or had that look on their face when they found out we use formula. People need to learn how to keep opinions to themselves. I needed to give my daughter formula for her health and well-being. It is not poison, and should not be looked down upon.

62. tiehea

Apr 27, 2008 13:13

I know I am late to be posting on this, but what the heck. I was one of the many women made to feel that if I did not go through labor without medication, or did not choose to breastfeed, I was commiting child abuse. So I endured 23 hours of induced labor,19 hours with no meds, the most horrible experience I have ever had. then when my doctor insisted I have an epideral, it failed to help. after that I had to have a c-section. I was breastfeeding my beautiful new son, and pow, was hit with post-partum OCD. I was sleep deprived, 2 hours a night at the most, and afraid I was going to KILL my baby. Not once did anyone suggest that I supplement with formula, so I could get rest. I was told better that I suffer for my baby than the other way around. (Does this sound familier). So at 8 weeks post-partum, I found myself in the psych unit at a mental health facility for a week. I was put on anti-psychotics, anti-depressents and taken away from my son for this time period. I could no longer breastfeed, I cried for weeks. It took me almost 18 months to feel like myself, 6 different med combinations etc. I could go on.Would formula feeding have prevented all this, maybe not, but it would have helped my situation. I treasure the time I spent breastfeeding my son, he is now a happy healthy 7 year old. I would never look down on a woman who decided to use formula so she could get some well needed sleep, each person's situation is different. Being a parent is the most wonderful, frightening, joyous, fear inducing, important, amazing thing you will ever do. So do what you need to make both you and your baby happy and healthy.

63. Jennifer

May 20, 2008 13:46

I too was given the strange look by my ob-gyn when I said no, I will be using formula. My doctor wanted to know why and that main reason was because I was currently going to school full time. After having my daughter, I went back to school exactly 2 weeks from having her. I think when you weigh the odds and the benefits, there really is no difference between breast milk and formula.

64. Brenda

May 20, 2008 15:34

Jennifer, what are you going to school for... trolling or bad parenting?

65. Rachel

May 27, 2008 12:44

What is wrong with all you women? How can you all be so judgemental? We need to help each other. Stop putting other people down because they don't share your opinion, we need to support each other. Becoming a mother is hard enough, and we always second guess every decision we make regarding our children. So why don't we try to encourage the good choices made instead of lecture the ones that you may see as bad or wrong? This forum is really sad.

66. Monica

Jun 14, 2008 00:35

I just knew I was going to breastfeed. I went to three classes during my pregnancy. I made my husband promise not to let me give up. Well when my baby was handed to me, it was not as easy or natural as all the books had said. It was painful, very painful. I saw two different lactation consultants while still in the hospital and made NINE visits to a lactation consultant during the first three weeks. My nipples were flat and his latch was awful. My nipples cracked and bled, even with shields. So I did the next best thing. I pumped. I still do. I'm surprised that all the women who have mentioned throwing in the towel because of pain did not try pumping. As a previous poster mentioned, it is the second best thing to breastfeeding. I sure hope those posters who stopped breastfeeding for latch issues at least pumped. I'm darn proud of myself. I pumped 10 times a day (getting up every two hours), then gradually dropped a session. My LO is almost nine months old and since he's eating solids now I pump only three times a day. I must say, it's not easy. In fact, if I could go back, I'd try a few different things before I went to pumping. I have to lug the pump to work, and despite the name "pump in style", it's a clunky old backpack. I'm constantly washing parts and I lose almost all of my lunch break. But it's worth it. I have no empathy (because that is what they want.. someone to say "it's ok") for those who throw in the towel for "latch" issues without pumping. If it was really important to you, you'd find a way. Breast(milk) is best. Pumping mammas of the world UNITE!!

To the author,

In just a short time on the internet, I found SEVERAL articles about why women should NOT take Paxil while pregnant, including some from tort lawyers. Here is one from baby center that states that the American College of Obstetrics and Gynocology no longer recommend taking Paxil while pregant: http://www.babycenter.com/404_is-it-safe-to-take-antidepressants-during-pregnancy_2343.bc

I also found several articles about Paxil being safe for breastfeeding. Here is one: http://www.kellymom.com/health/meds/antidepressants-hale10-02.html This article quotes a respected study published in the Journal of Psychiatry that found that in 7 out of 8 infants, the Paxil did not even get into the breastmilk in any testable quantities, if at all!

In my opinion (and it is just that, an opinion), you made two wrong choices. It appears that by taking Paxil during your pregnancy but not breastfeeding because of fear that the Paxil would harm your baby, you exposed your baby to the GREATEST level of harm. I'm glad to know that he/she is ok. I think your intentions were good, hopefully next time you will be more informed.

67. Lauren

Aug 29, 2008 01:29

Wow! Quite the debate...my two cents,
First, Victoria, good for you for being a responsible, informed parent. For doing research and making the best decision for your family and child. Everyone is obviously thriving and happy, way to go:)

And I must say, Amanda, I worry much more about the child being raised by a mother who could say to someone that 'they are disgusting and should never have children' b/c they made a well thought out decision in the raising of their child (or for any reason, really). Breast is best, but there sure is a heck of a lot more that goes into raising a child...it's never ok to treat someone the way you have and obviously do.

I am absolutely pro-breastfeeding. The overwhelming LONG-TERM research that shows the benefits of breastfeeding is enough to convince me...this isn't some fad idea, but how we were created to feed our children, have been since 'the beginning of time' and it cannot be duplicated. There are vast resources that support that, ppl trying to refute it (to support their own ideas/decisions) haven't done the research. I breastfed my daughter for over a year, and loved it. It was very special and I'm thankful to have been able to have that experience. It honestly does upset me when I read/hear about mothers who have CHOSEN not to breastfeed because it INCONVENIENCES them. Having children is not about the parent, it is about the child, and I would hope that every parent would want to do the best by their children. And I just have to say, if you FF and your children 'aren't sick/un-intelligent/overweight' etc. that doesn't mean that breastfeeding doesn't protect against those things. Having unprotected sex doesn't get ya pregnant everytime...does that mean you never will?

Having said that, I have witnessed close friends of mine who had great difficulty breastfeeding and ended up formula feeding. That was the best decision for their child...will they be at a disadvantage in any way? Possibly. Research does back that up, but that doesn't matter, we each do the best with what we have, and that's what is important. My friends are amazing parents, and their children are amazing as well!

In the end, we each have to make the decision that we feel is best for our child.

68. Lindy Nelsen

Sep 14, 2008 01:06

YIKES... You mean to say you truly feel that formula is exactly the same as breastmilk? This article frustrated me in that your facts are incorrect. I encourage you to do some more research...and Google research doesn't count.
And by the way..."FDA Approved" is usually a good reason to stay away from something.

69. Tatiana

Oct 23, 2008 14:39

WOW! I do not understand your reasoning behing formula feeding your child.

I agree completely with Monica, in that you should have researched the drugs you were using-yes DRUGS. As a mother you make sacrifices for your child. Our society is so screwed up that everything has become medicalized. Dr.'s will prescribe a med for just about anything- Look we all deal with depression, sadness or unhappiness at some point in our lives, but using drugs is not the way to treat it, and in my opinion that is a weak minded thing to do. If there were no drugs, you would have to deal with your feelings. Stop taking the easy way out! You ultimately chose to be "high" off drugs over the well being of your child. Yes, you are a bad mom in that respect. I have a very demanding job, and I am still able to breastfeed my child.

And for everyone's info formula is not even remotely close to breastmilk. Breastmilk is what our body produces in response to having a child--why would you forego that?

70. jessa

Oct 24, 2008 11:50

first of all u arent a bad mother but you are apparently uneducated on the dangers of formula. breast milk has an acid in it which promotes cognitive brain developement. formula lacks this and it is proven. just get any medical book. formula babies are 20% more likely to die of sids, cancers and diabetes is also common among formula fed babies. my son was breastfed for 2 years and he is smarter and healtier than his formula fed friends. so please dont make other women think its ok not to breastfeed when you dont know what your talking about, and remember this, only women with aids cannot breastfeed. even some women who have had breast reductions can still breastfeed. only 1% of women in the us cannot breastfeed. theres no reason to endanger your babies life.

71. Leona

Nov 14, 2008 09:54

i know this is long off from my other posts, but i only think to stop in from time to time (obviously not often)...

rachel... you seem to misunderstand the meaning of the word "healthy". just because one FEELS better, does NOT make one "healthy". by the time my aunt was diagnosed with cancer, she was already in stage 3. does that sound like she was healthy up to the day of her tests?

as far as "Just because diet and lifestyle works for you does not mean it will work for some one else"... the problem with this statement is that i'm absolutely certain that too many people who supposedly try through diet and lifestyle either a) use only one or two approaches before giving up (there are hundreds)... as i pointed out in a previous post, there are multiple approaches (if dha doesn't work, copper balance correction might. could be something else, too) or b) are too impatient to allow for the amount of time needed for your body to balance itself back out... ex: my mother shoots down any treatment that doesn't have visible signs of progress within 30 days... um. many meds don't even work that fast! sometimes it's a food allergy (wheat, dairy, gluten, food coloring, the list goes on) and pinpointing allergies can take time as well.

check out the pfeiffer treatment center: http://www.hriptc.org/

they have a higher success rate than any psychotropic medication.

and there's always therapy! another PROVEN treatment for many mental illnesses!

as for my prejudice... if a mother is on medication for a serious heart condition or kidney condition, then she has no choice. i feel bad for her and her child's misfortune. but i have never met a formula feeding mom who simply said "i just wanted to". there's usually atleast a "breastfeeding's gross" or other type comment (or mindset) attatched. that is a sad excuse to not breastfeed. that's like saying "i won't feed my children vegetables cuz they're gross".

oh. and long ago in these comments someone made the comment about love being the most important thing.... love is important, but love will not heal an infection or prevent an illness or rehydrate a dehydrated child. don't be silly.

72. Sherry

Dec 06, 2008 10:47

I completely agree. I am the mother of a 7 week old that has been breastfeeding. I will be going back to work in four weeks and the decision to switch to formula has left me with this weight of guilt. Reading this has alleviated some of that guilt. We are inundated with literature telling us breast milk is best and it is, but we also need to respect mothers choices for switching to formula.

73. C&C's Mom

Mar 02, 2009 21:10

This is one of many exapmles of women attacking each other instead of supporting each other. Why does it make some people feel better about themselves to cut others down? Motherhood is challenging enough without people telling you that you are a bad mother. People need to do whatever makes them the best MOM THEY CAN BE. That means alot of different things for different people... If that is breastfeeding, formula feeding, staying home, going back to work etc.
I am surprised at how cruel some people have been on this blog. Does it really make you feel better about yourself? Do you honestly think anyone of these people is not doing the best they can for their family? You don't live their life. Stop passing judgement and support your fellow mother! We ALL love our children.

74. Rebecca Fawcett

Mar 05, 2009 09:53

It makes me really sad to see the attacks...surprisingly mostly from the women who have breast fed their little bundles.
I am a registered nurse and I am very well educated about the benefits of breast milk. I will not argue that formula is equal to breast milk, it isn't. We all know that breast milk is the "optimal" method for infant feeding.
When I was pregnant with my first child, it never occurred to me that I would have trouble with breast feeding or would be unable to get the support I required, living in a Northern Canadian community.
Unfortunately, my baby could not latch when my milk came in & there was literally no one willing to help. I decided to pump as my screaming, hungry baby needed to eat but I couldn't facilitate this. I decided 5 weeks later to switch to formula.
I'm sure there is a fanatical breast feeding mom out there dying to tell me how selfish I am & make attacks at my character. I'm okay with that as I am a secure individual & I am a good mother.
I would definitely encourage women to try to breast feed. But if they don't want to...or can't...or only do it for 3 days...Leave them alone! All you breast feeding moms that feel good about yourselves...Great! You should. You are doing a wonderful thing for your babies. Please just stop villainizing mothers who do not do as you do, you are not helping...if that ever was your intent?

75. Samantha

Mar 12, 2009 20:45

I am a breastfeeding mother with a 6 month old son. I do not agree with your take on formula. Do you actually trust that the FDA provides "safe guidelines" for formula..? The FDA approves countless drugs every year that later are taken off the shelves with a black box warning. I, for one, do not entirely trust the FDA.

It is ignorant to assume that the nutrients found in breastmilk can be duplicated. They cannot. Every antibody, nutrient, hormone, etc. that is secreted from breast milk that is designed to benefit baby cannot be duplicated to be made into formula- which is cow milk.

100 years ago, if you decided "I'm not going to breast feed. It's a personal choice." - Your baby would starve to death. Formula was created for mothers who physically were UNABLE to breastfeed. You do not fall in this category. You take a medication that not only would not effect your baby, but it certainly would not give your baby withdrawal symptoms. Wow, I am still in shock that you actually believe that!

On to the daddy feeding time... I have a Medela electric pump that I use to pump about 5 Oz or so of milk when I leave the house. My spouse then uses that milk, in a bottle, to feed our son. He gets his "daddy feeding time"- just as other breastfed babies do. Nursed babies get bottle fed, just not with that chalky powdered cows milk. I'm pretty sure babies enjoy breastfeeding hands down over formula. Formula is gross and it doesn't even come close to supplying your baby with the necessary nutrients they need. You can argue about how breastmilk is as good as formula, or how they are comparable, but they just aren't. Listen to your doctor, read a book, stop writing self righteous articles about formula feeding because you don't want to feel guilty about choosing not to breastfeed.

76. parmoose

Mar 14, 2009 04:19

My wife started out breasfeeding our first child and was loving every minute of it. But then he started losing weight (a lot more than was normal). Gina felt the responsibility was solely on her shoulders, and breastfeeding quickly degenerated into a burden. She was disengaging from the baby, not talking to him at each feeding. I finally said enough. We have been bottlefeeding for four days now and are much happier for it. The benefits of breastfeeding are outweighed if a mother is not engaged with her child.

Matt (Moose)
thematernalmoose.com

77. jacki

Mar 18, 2009 20:42

This whole discourse reeks of upper middle class women alternately feeling superior to each other. The idea that there is one "superior" or perfect way to parent or be a mother is revolting. In spite of all the "backlash" that breast feeding mothers claim to have experienced I have found that amongst certain circles if one doesn't breast feed it is akin to child abuse. Bourgeois women will always judge one another. Pity the woman who does not or cannot breast feed in this society. God help those poor children who are adopted and can't experience the glory of breast milk. God knows they are doomed to a horrific childhood of manifest diseases and will never live to their true potential. Judge away ladies! Doesn't it feel great!

78. Randi

Apr 03, 2009 22:27

We're still waiting for the data on the full range of environmental pollutants in breast milk. The research hasn't been done because no one wants to rock to boat of 'breast is best'. We may well figure out, down the line, that human breast milk passes real risks to the baby. As to the benefits of breast feeding, studies are generally flawed by the fact that better educated, more attentive mothers are the ones who breast-feed. I'm underwhelmed by the evidence.

79. Jessica

Apr 15, 2009 14:42

Contrary to most beliefs, infant formula is not the end of mother-child bonds or a child's nutrition.

I have twin boys and they were formula fed from the start.
I wasn't aware I was having twins until late in the pregnancy and although I was extremely excited, I was worried about my finances.
Though most would say that breast feeding is free, it is not.
Time is money. With twin boys I would constantly be feeding them with no time to myself and much less my career.

So I went to work, was able to afford formula, my children, my house, my car, college funds, etc. And I'm not ashamed to say that I didn't feed them breast milk.

My husband supported my choice, despite his mother's disgust, and here I am today.

I'm still a healthy career woman with two wonderful twin boys who are healthy, bright, and the best things in my life with another little boy on the way.

Whether you feed your child breast milk or formula does not put a bearing on how much of a mother you are. I love my children just as much as the next mother, formula and all.

80. leigh anne kao

Apr 28, 2009 12:09

Your article is true to a certain point. Dads do get to enjoy feeding,and formula is mostly safe and adequate, but your facts on nutrition are way off. Breast milk composition changes with each feeding to meet the nutritional needs of the growing baby. One feeding may have more fat, the next feeding may have more carbs, etc. You get the point. So when I say formula is adequate, it is only just that, adequate.
Drugs ? I delivered a two month early premie. I was on a slew of medications, including magnesium sulfate, apresoline, procardia,and percocet.I was still cleared to breastfeed , pumped, and my daughter received the milk via feeding tube. My daughter was fine then, and she is fine now.
Moms, don't let these defensive posts scare you.
1) babies will nurse, they are born with the instinct. Nature is tough.
2) Babies always lose weight in the first days of life. That is not a time to panic and switch to formula.
3) As risky as malpractice is to OB docs, believe me, that doctor was very careful before he or she told you it was okay to breastfeed.
Personally, I could care less what method a mother chooses when she feeds her child. I only care when facts are skewed, or just plain wrong. It doesn't give moms to be out there the correct information. How fair is that ?
One more thing. I nursed my daughter for ten months, and was on blood pressure lowering drugs the entire time.

81. suzie

May 22, 2009 01:28

Victoria, your article made me so sad. Please Please I urge you to get educated on this topic. This was a VERY poorly researched article, your facts are so wrong. Where are your references to the claims you make? There are millions of references actually in opposition to what you are saying. Your 4th paragraph from the bottom on is just PLAIN wrong! sweetheart, do you really truly think we KNOW EVERY LAST component that is in breastmilk? We dont even know all the nutrients that is in an orange! Its like saying, hey! we've isolated vitamin c in an orange, there's some sugar, and water....voila, lets make a manmade orange! NOT THE SAME THING. there is sooooo much to tell you. i know you are only 20 something, you have a lot to learn, and you will, just keep growing and learning. we all realize our mistakes sooner or later, you are only human. dont kid yourself - even the fda is not infallible. formula doesnt even have to be fda approved. also, the formula companies have a LOT to lose if breastfeeding takes over. even they know and have to admit, there is NO substitute on par with breastfeeding. formula was originally intended as an ALTERNATIVE if Breastfeeding was NOT POSSIBLE- like maternal death, a real medical problem that prevented breastfeeding. IT SHOULD NOT BE VIEWED AS A CASUAL substitute! formula should be used when breastfeeding was absolutely not possible. WHY Dont you trust that nature knows what it was doing??

82. Melissa

Aug 22, 2009 01:11

Formula, is what is says it is- A Formula. If I were you I would definitely consider the qualities in the name when contending your point. I would also advise you to investigate further inside the FDA. Your article suggests you are anchored to your opinion, hence personal expression I realize. However, it seems you are upset that so many have given you ill advisement toward your decision. It seems as though you are defensive. What and how much antibody's ect you have in yourself to give a child, is up to you and is the reason, as is written "antibodies and future protective properties that are so touted by breast milk advocates are also not exactly a proven fact" as to the strength and quality that is produced is your personal responsibility. whether or not a person becomes obese is entirely environmental. Obesity is an epidemic of advertising and marketing, that is entirely approved by the FDA and is legal. You may want to check out PETA if you are interested in evolving.{www.peta.org} Also, if you plan on sending your child to public school I would highly recommend educating yourself (again with the personal responsibility)on the process by which The National School Lunch Program obtains and processes its food. {http://www.reason.com/news/show/29706.html}(all legally through standards in which the FDA has also approved.) Also, what biological test did you take that came out testing positive for depression? I would self educate as follows {www.cchr.org.} As well, prior to that, what birth control were you taking and what are the (non-FDA listed) related side effects (IE forums, off beat med journals,) {www.mysticwicks.com/archive/index.php/t-4344.html.}
It is all a matter of personal responsibility. It is not the doctors to make you be well, nor the dentists to keep your mouth clean, nor the schools to educate your child, nor the daycare to see to every need of your child, nor your work to see to it you get your raise, nor the article to see to it you maintain your own body levels to aid in milk production, nor the company that makes the formula to inspect every can, ....nor is it the responsibility of the powers that be to educate you on it.

83. Julie

Sep 06, 2009 17:58

I am a mother who breast and bottle feeds my baby. I do not think that mothers who choose to formula feed are bad mothers, I do however feel breast is best. It is the way are bodies were designed to work, it is natural. For that reason alone it must be better. If you read a formula can, it says right on the can that breastmilk is better. So although I do not feel that mothers who formula feed are bad mothers. I do think mothers should only decide to bottle feed after getting all the facts.

84. jenny baddeley

Oct 13, 2009 06:26

I breast fed for 6 months, but i hated it most of the time. i completely respect your choice to bottle feed - breast feeding is extremely difficult for a lot of women. In my case, I'm sure it contributed to (non-diagnosed!) post natal depression - the moment i stopped, a huge cloud lifted. Not that it was easy - i did always intend to stop after 6 months but in the event wanted to stop after 3 or 4 - but my baby (now 19 months) wouldn't take a bottle. We perservered for months with expressed milk that she wouldn't have (and as a result I think I overproduced. my breasts are like empty bags after using an electric expresser every day. Not sure if that's the reason but it feels like it was).

I wish I had given her one bottle a day from the beginning, so she'd been used to it - but we were told by the health visitor not to try it until 6 weeks 'in case they prefer the bottle'.

You know what? I'll take this chance next time!

Some of the comments posted on here are disgraceful. It's your body and NO ONE can tell you what to do with it. your baby will be fine.

85. Elizabeth Mills

Oct 19, 2009 19:39

Thank you!! I am trying to breastfeed my second child and it is just not working. I have not been able to produce enough milk for my son and he is now at the point of being frustrated at the breast. Trying to find time to pump extra seems to add extra stress that I know my two sons and husband feel. I feel like I need to switch to formula but I have two concerns: One, these bugs going around, and two, the flak I'm going to get from those who get almost nasty about being against mother's fomula feeding. We need to do what we feel is best for our children. Case closed!!!

86. Beth

Nov 04, 2009 13:01

I am so disappointed by all of this. I read the entire article, and I don't think she says anywhere that breastmilk is NOT the best. We know it is, there are studies, etc. She chose to bottlefeed based on her best judgment.

I agree that breastfeeding is best, and I agree that there are great breastfeeding resources and advocates out there. There are lactation consultants, support groups, and positive advocates out there.

What I find here is that some of the pro-breastfeeders are taking the self - righteous approach, condemning bottle feeders, attacking them. This does NOTHING for the cause of breastfeeding; it makes the attackers look like self righteous loonies, which is pretty easy to dismiss. (This lady is obnoxious and crazy; I'm not listening to her.)

This is about the baby; if you want to counsel people on the benefits of breastfeeding, and encourage them to try, don't break them down and treat them badly. Offer to talk them through it, help them, encourage them. The same thing you'd hopefully do for your child if you thought they were about to make a bad decision.

Encouragement and support constitute a much better approach. No one is perfect, and with limited exceptions, everyone wants the best for their baby. I'd ask these questions to the more rude commenters -
Do you drive a car with your children in it? More children die in car accidents every year than from bad formula. Do you let your children watch tv before 2 years old? Because that's now proven to be unsafe. Do you work outside of the home? Because it might be better for the family if a parent was with the kids all day. Do your kids eat organically? It may be safer than non-organic.

I don't need you to answer these questions, because it's not my business. I would hope that you're so fervent on this board because you care, in which case, on the issues above, you'd chose what's best for your particular family and situation. I won't tell you what's right or wrong, because they're your children. If I feel something you're doing is blatantly dangerous, I'd offer my advice and encouragement, not beat you down. Because I care.

If you're beating others down, you don't really care.

87. Tricia Simmons

Jan 15, 2010 12:55

I am sorry but as a breastfeeding mother in 2009 - 2010 this article is way off base. You get more of a negative reaction from people that you ARE breastfeeding then bottle feeding. Breastfeeding so out of style. I have felt more judged about breastfeeding than other mom's who bottle feed. Heaven forbid I do something right and selfless for my children. That is so old fashion! I have had a mother even tell me "I can't believe people still breastfeed, I just don't get it?" I think most bottle feeding mothers feel SO judged because they feel guilt about not breastfeeding. Don't put your guilt on me!

88. New Father

Jan 15, 2010 23:17

Breastfeeding is definitely much better than formula. I am a Biochemist and I have been privy to the manufacturing processes of making formula. When a mother eats food the body acts like a refinery and separates out the vital nutrients and compounds and removes impurities. This process is so efficient in a healthy body that no man made process can duplicate. For example the ARA and DHA Omega-3 fatty acids made by Mertec are extracted from Fungus and Algae using a chemical called Hexane (A Synthetic Neurotoxin)and is only 40 to 50 % they add Sunflower Oil, diglycerdes, and nonsaponifiable materials, these are not found in breast milk and is new to the human diet. Babies can Live and grow seemingly healthy on formula but consider this: Bone density is on the decline in children, obesity in on the rise in children, cancer is on the rise in children, heart desease is on the rise in children (Yes Children !!), respiratory infections and allergies and on the rise in children, and nobody knows why; MAYBE WE ARE WHAT WE EAT !!

89. caroly

Feb 19, 2010 23:44

Been reading here... I'm older. No babies on my hands. But I do have a 12- and 8-year-old and I formula-fed both of them from the get-go. My choice. I'm well-educated, substantially employed. My children are straight A students, high testers and brightest in their respective classes.
My point? I could care less if you breast or formula feed. I'm not judgmental, nor do I feel one person is superior. I also feel there is a lack of time perspective going on. I remember how myopic life with a newborn was, where everything you did you analyzed, no matter how minor. Flash forward and trust me, none of those choices really end up making that big of a difference. It's how you nurture, tend, COMMUNICATE with, and raise these kids.
This debate over how you feed is ridiculous. It is. Wake up. Be thankful for the joy of children and focus on raising them and forming them, not on whether breast vs. formula makes you a GOOD or BAD mother.

90. Georgie

Feb 25, 2010 14:22

caroly:

AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

91. Nicole

Mar 02, 2010 08:32

I came to this site in hopes to no longer feel guilty about the fact that I cannot breastfeed. My baby is over 6 months old and I still feel guilty that I formula feed. THere are days when I still cry and I get depressed whenever I hear of others breastfeeding. I am happy for them but I feel like I've failed somewhere as a mother already. I wish I could get over this fact. Yes he is doing well, has not been sick and is very alert and intelligent, but I still can't get over the guilt. I think it has to do with how much society pushed breastfeeding and saying that it's the best and doesn't every mother want the best for her child? I've also always admired mothers who could breastfeed and hoped to share that same bond and experience with my son. I can honestly say I tried my best and it hurts to read comments that it's selfish to formula feed and with perseverence anyone can breastfeed. . I really wanted to breastfeed and I feel I stuck to it for as long as I could without losing my sanity. I had a traumatic emergency c-section and lost a ton of blood. I did not even get to bond with my child immediately after birth and the hospital gave him formula initially because I could not feed him and he was hungry. He had to have supplements most of the first week because my milk didn't come in for 8 days due to my loss of blood and severe anemia. I pumped every 2-3 hours to try to get it to come but only got less than an ounce at a time. I tried to breastfeed him for 5 weeks and visited 3 different lactation consultants to get help. He would scream and cry and fight me the whole time I tried to nurse. (Maybe he sensed that I was ill from my surgery or maybe he got used to the flow of the bottle and supplements, who knows??) I would have a team of people, husband, mother, lactation consulatant holding him in positon to assist me and trying to get him to latch on and feed. He would scrape at my breasts, face birght red and pull away each time screaming. It was as if he was being tortured. THere were a few instances when he finally latched on and once he started sucking he would immediately start crying again after a couple seconds. I would try and try for 30min-hour at a time with no luck and same response each time. He for some reason totally rejected my right breast and never latched on to that one at all-so I would have to pump that one while trying to get him to feed off the other one. I bought all the Medela products that I thought would help and none of them worked for me. I would feel my heart tearing out of my chest with each nursing experience because all I wanted to do was feel a special bond with my baby like most breastfeeding mothers and give him the best. Days went on and I kept trying because that was what was best but the more I failed the more I could feel my spirit breaking and confidence as a mother dwindling. Babies are only babies for a short time and all I wanted was for him to be happy and share a special relationship. I became consumed with the fact that I was failing at breastfeeding. I felt like a terrible mother beacuse I couldn't do what was best for him. I started pumping all the time to be able to give my baby breastmilk but he developed colic and GERD and was crying most of the day which made it difficult for me to pump and attend to his needs. I felt guilty pumping while he was crying and soon started becomming engorged and developing mastitis because I couldn't release my milk when needed. At that point I started using formula exclusively and he immediately responded successfully. He was happy and I could feed him and feel a close bond because he wasn't hysterical. It was like a huge weight was lifted. I just want to feel like a good mother and at the time seeing my baby happy and feeling at ease made me feel like I was doing the right thing. When I talk to other people and tell them about my choice I get a lot of responses like " I had trouble with my baby also but I still breastfed and never gave them a drop of formula. I feel like people look down on me as a mother and it hurts all the time. The ironic thing is from my experience with other mothers and their kids and I work with kids, I do not see a difference between the kids that are formula fed vs breastfed. My friends who have breastfed their children get ear infections and have colds. SOme women I know who have formula fed have had no issues with their children being sick. I also look at the formul labels and see all the nutrients that are packed in and I can clearly say that I don't feel I eat that many nutrients a day that I would pass to my child. There are days I wonder if maybe breastfeeding might be a little over-rated due to the fact that if a mother eats poorly, drinks alcohol, smokes, takes meds, etc how is it really significantly better than formula to the point where others have to make formula fed mothers feel guilty? I know in my heart and gut that what I did for my son was the right thing because he is so happy and a doctor once told me a happy baby is a healty baby, so I'm wishing that one of these days I will be able to overcome my pain and move on. I look forward to reading more comments in hopes that I can heal from my loss at not being able to breastfeed. Thanks for your support.

92. Confused teen

Mar 15, 2010 03:54

Umm... one day i want a baby, and i do NOT want to breastfeed because the thought of someone sucking on that just makes me feel uncomfortable, but who knows? maybe i'll change my mind when the times right :) but i will never point the finger and mothers that ff their children, i think it's completly up to them. Has anyone got some kind advise for me?? i don't want to make the wrong desision, have an unhealthy baby but i also don't want to feel uncomfortable and tired or what ever simptoms breast feeding can give.oh and btw I was a ff baby, and i LOVE my mum alot, she's the greatest Mother in the universe i couldn't possibly love her more so i don't think brestfeeding would make a difference as to how much of a bond they have. anyway H.E.L.P???