Category Archives: Humor

Men Are Warped in Their Own, Unique Way

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Men are warped in their own, unique way. That is not a newsflash. What never ceases to amaze me, however, is just how vast the crevasse that separates the sexes can be. Take monkeys for example. My husband, and father of our two children, couldn’t wait to tell me about the latest experiment he’d seen […]

Second Grade Political Correctness run Amok

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The other night I was reading a book about starfish to my youngest. As we counted the starfish’s fingers or whatever they are, he corrected me. “Mom, they’re not called starfish anymore. They are SEA STARS. Teacher said.” “Really?” “That’s what she said.” Hmm. I must have missed this. Who knew echinoderms would be the […]

My Preschooler Was Suspended for Having Explosive Poop

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My son recently earned himself a 48-hour suspension from preschool. It’s hard to imagine what sort of infraction an almost-two-year-old could commit that would merit such punishment. You’re probably mulling it over right about now and wondering what sort of hoodlum I’m raising. You’re probably wondering whether you should stop reading this right now, lest […]

Don’t Care That I Brought Sick Child to Play Date

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  Dear Play Date Parent, Good evening. If my watch is correct, by now you should be shin-deep in vomit and explosive diarrhea. Expect this to continue for another 8-12 hours before your child slips into a damp, angry, sticky stupor. If you are slightly suspicious of my ability to foreshadow your next 24 hours, […]

Toddler Calls Father by First Name

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Here is my quandary. My 3-year-old son has taken to calling me by my first name. I suspect he was up late one night and caught a viewing of To Kill a Mockingbird on AMC. But trust me, he’s no Scout. He doesn’t even own a pair of overalls, much less a giant papier-mâche ham. […]

Riding the School Bus

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Being a kid just isn’t easy. Ask any kid and learn the Class System is alive, well, and living within the school building walls. Despite parents and faculty desires otherwise, intelligence, wealth, athletic ability, and social status always seem to be the distinguishing factors in determining the stereotypical groups within the Class System. Everyone wants […]

An open letter from Blue Ivy Carter to her parents

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Dear Mom and Dad, Now that we have had some time to settle in and I have gotten to know you, I wanted to write you a letter to say thank you for a few things. First of all, I wanted to give you a huge THANK YOU for shelling out for the extra cash […]