Author Archives: Prescott Carlson

Prescott Carlson

Prescott Carlson is the editor and co-creator of The Imperfect Parent. Prescott has a vague mistrust of robots.

Will having two children change me?

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The other day I received a phone call at the office. “Honey,” the voice said, “we did it. I’m pregnant.” Fortunately, the voice belonged to my wife. She had discovered while sitting at work that she had miscalculated her period date and was actually three days late. Rushing home for lunch, low and behold the […]

Toddler Calls Father by First Name

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Here is my quandary. My 3-year-old son has taken to calling me by my first name. I suspect he was up late one night and caught a viewing of To Kill a Mockingbird on AMC. But trust me, he’s no Scout. He doesn’t even own a pair of overalls, much less a giant papier-mâche ham. […]

How much is too much?

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I opened the newspaper the other day and the headline jumped out at me:   "Talks for Teachers Contract Have Intensified"   This, just months after our area put through a very large tax referendum because parents were threatened with draconian cuts in school programs such as completely eliminating sports, music, and foreign language. Every […]

Further erosion of my parental rights.

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Blogging has become more hazardous than we originally thought. Not only can blogging get you fired from your job, it can also screw up your entry into the college of your choice and hurt your chances of getting that job in the first place. Last week, in an action that may be the first in […]

“Co” is the new black.

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I saw a headline this morning that I found perplexing, from the Hattiesburg American: "Co-Parenting Doesn’t Have to Be Hard". Co-parenting? What the hell is that? Well, according to the article and copious Google results, it seems to refer to divorced parents and joint custody issues. What’s confusing is that in the haste to slap […]

Rockwell, I feel your pain.

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Hi, Mom — happy belated Mother’s Day! Sorry this is a couple of days late, and I would have called, but given that you’re now living in Afghanistan (I knew things were rough with you and dad, but running off to the Middle East with Ahmad? What were you thinking?), I didn’t want to give […]

Stay out of my kid’s lunchbox.

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Whew! You can’t believe the comfort I have knowing that Slick Willie is still in charge of raising my children. What a relief! That takes a lot of pressure off of me — maybe now I can finish writing that novel. In case you haven’t heard, former president (and self-proclaimed "former fat kid") Bill Clinton […]

Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dad

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Al Gore’s Internet™ has become a dizzying array of shorthand and acronyms, and my inner grumpy old man can’t stand it. Emails, blogs and forums are littered with them — BTW, KWIM, STFU, KFC. I knew people had already given up learning how to spell now that spellcheckers are ubiquitous. The only people who care […]

The immigration movement needs a new PR agent.

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This recent report from the Associated Press is sure to get the Minutemen’s panties further into a bunch: Mexican pop diva Gloria Trevi, Puerto Rican reggaeton Ivy Queen and Tito El Bambino and other Latino artists are recording a Spanish-language version of the U.S. national anthem in a show of support for migrants in the […]

We did it!

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Even the most novice of parents knows that the experience of raising a child is full of milestones. First steps, first birthday, first day of school, first date, first husband. The nurturing of a website also has milestones — at The Imperfect Parent, they were creating our first web page, reaching the 1000th post in […]