Author Archives: Kelley Cunningham

Kelley Cunningham

Kelley Cunningham is a writer, award-winning artist, weekend poet, and an art director in children's publishing. Her work has been published in Brain,Child, Mamalicious, and The Funny Times. She has illustrated five books for children. A sampling of her amazing art talent can be seen at her website. Kelley lives in Pennsyltucky with her three wonderful sons.

If you don’t finish your kelp, you can’t have any acidophilus!

Posted on in Parenting | 0 comments

Please save us from the earnest Organic Moms. You know the type. They show up at the preschool party with tofu and seaweed muffins while the best you could do is slice and bake chemical tube cookies. They have lots of instructions for playdates too. ‚ÄúPlease don’t give little Logan any juice because juice stunts […]

Into the abyss — fear and loathing on the road to preschool.

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Preschool. Ugh. What is merely supposed to be an opportunity for our little darlings to break free of their sequestered plastic bubbles and interact with other creatures of the same height and lingering smell, sharing bacteria and ancient blocks (oops, I mean manipulatives), has turned into yet another humorless migraine-inducing educational opportunity designed to take […]

Quality schmality.

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I read a study somewhere that working mothers spend more measurable, one-on-one quality time with their kids than stay-at-home moms do. I didn’t react as I suspect the experts would have liked. I guess I should have dropped everything, grabbed my kids away from the clutches of Nickelodeon, and started building a working model of […]

Beautiful People Make Better Mothers

Posted on in Humor Essays | 0 comments

Elizabeth Hurley lost her baby weight faster than YOU did. Look! Pamela Anderson can give birth and blow her husband at the same time! Cindy Crawford looked better pushing her baby out than you looked at your wedding! Sarah Jessica Parker walked out of the maternity ward wearing Manolo Blahniks! Listen up, People, Us, paparazzi […]