Author Archives: Kelley Cunningham

Kelley Cunningham

Kelley Cunningham is a writer, award-winning artist, weekend poet, and an art director in children's publishing. Her work has been published in Brain,Child, Mamalicious, and The Funny Times. She has illustrated five books for children. A sampling of her amazing art talent can be seen at her website. Kelley lives in Pennsyltucky with her three wonderful sons.

How to Be Friends with a Working Mother

Posted on in Controversy/Debate, Stay At Home/Working Mothers | 1 comment

I have a lot of friends who are wonderful mothers who freely admit that staying home would make them crazy. I never know quite how to respond. They look at me and I know they are thinking. “How the hell does she do it? Why the hell does she do it?” Hmmm. To this I […]

The Tournament of Moms: A Jeopardy Game Show Parody

Posted on in General Parenting, Humor Essays | 0 comments

  Alex: Welcome to the special “Tournament of Moms” on Jeopardy this week. Well, at least we hope it can run all week . . . we didn’t find too many Moms who had any brain cells left, and of those who did, only a few could find someone to watch the kids for a […]

Mom’s Taste of Freedom: Kids Away at Sleepaway Camp

Posted on in Parenting | 0 comments

I recently found myself living the dream that kept me alive all those years when my children were small and ever-present. Those days when I couldn’t even sit on the toilet without a note passed under the door…“Mom can i hav gum e bears? Chooze 1 yes no.” Those days when I had to hire […]

Second Grade Political Correctness run Amok

Posted on in Humor Essays | 0 comments

The other night I was reading a book about starfish to my youngest. As we counted the starfish’s fingers or whatever they are, he corrected me. “Mom, they’re not called starfish anymore. They are SEA STARS. Teacher said.” “Really?” “That’s what she said.” Hmm. I must have missed this. Who knew echinoderms would be the […]

The Ten Parenting Commandments, Turned Up to Eleven

Posted on in Parenting | 0 comments

1. Thou Shall Not Judge Thou shall not make hasty judgments of other people’s kids’ transgressions, lest the Parenting Gods hear you and instantly smite you with a child who develops an obsessive fascination with eating his nose nuggets. 2. Keep Thy Perspective Do you know any adults who are not potty-trained or do not […]

Dear your name here, Happy Holidays!

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Have you ever tried to write a family newsletter at holiday time? Did you look back on the year and the only positive thing you could say about it is that you got through it? Never fear! This Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwaanza use our helpful guide. You, too, can carpet-bomb the western world with an obnoxious form letter […]

The New BoobTube

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Welcome to BoobTube! Television that’s all about YOU! Print out this handy schedule of the daily program lineup. Tape to the inside of the cleaning supplies closet where your kids wouldn’t dream of looking for it. 12am-1am: The Cracked Nipples Power Hour Why stay up alone during middle-of-the-night feedings? Our hostess, N. Gorge McLetdown, will […]

Helicopter Parent Magazine

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Never out of sight, nor out of mind. “OK, listen up everyone. We’re here to plan the next issue. What have you got?” “I’ve got this submission. Should be a good one. It’s from a ‘family bed’ mom who is agonizing about not being able to sleep in her daughter’s college dorm room bed.” “Does […]

Furry? Curry? What Rhymes With Worry?

Posted on in Parenting | 0 comments

Enjoy the winning entries in the “Thirteen Ways of Looking at Motherhood” poetry contest. The contest was open to moms everywhere, in all stages of motherhood. Explore the wonder of motherhood through the magic of poetry! Farmhouse in the Middle of Nowhere with a New Baby By Roberta Frosty New England. Woods. Snowy evenings. Fences. […]

Existential Housekeeping, or L’ennui de l’hiver.

Posted on in Parenting | 0 comments

It’s the kids’ eighth snow day of the year, and it’s only February. I think I may be going slightly mad. I find myself pondering things I’ve never noticed. Wrestling with demons heretofore unseen. And wondering why a mere 10 hours of dim daylight feels like 1000. I suppose it’s because in winter, everything moves […]