Home -> Parenting -> General Parenting | ||
| Stage Dad | ||
| Page: 1 | 2 |
||
|
Britt seemed particularly amused by the green doggies that were on the blue pajamas they gave us. As I zipped him into the one piece outfit a woman started brushing powdered makeup on his cheeks then sprayed hair spray into her hand and smoothed down some of the fly-aways on the top of his head. Everything seemed to be coming together for the big shoot, but then Matthew couldn’t get his act together. When we walked into the loft I glanced at a list and saw kids of all ages would be filtered in and out through out the day. A three-year-old boy named Matthew was on the set, and Britt would be next. Getting Britt ready I could see the strobe of the flash pop every couple of seconds and listened to the commotion that was coming from the photography area. “Over here, Matthew! Right here! Hey, Matthew! Look over here!” This went on for about a half hour. I wanted jump in and say, “Look, Matthew either get with the program or start crying really hard so we can all get on with our day. Either way, you’re getting a Happy Meal out of all this.” Instead I sat there and waited, and became nervous this would happen with my baby. My hands started to become clammy as I thought about Britt pulling a Matthew when a stage grandmother said to me, “You don’t see many daddies at these.” She said it in baby talk, so I assumed she was talking to Britt. Since he can’t speak yet, I answered for him. She had come with her daughter and a beautiful 3-month-old granddaughter. Granny asked, “Is this your first booking?” This time in her grown up voice, so I knew she was addressing me. I wanted to answer like a smart ass and say something like, “Yes, this is his first. I’ve been booked a few times. Mainly for petty larceny, but once for grand theft.” Instead I just nodded my head, but it made me even more anxious being surrounded by people who knew the baby-modeling lingo. I began wiping my sweaty hands on Britt’s new PJs when another grandmotherly woman said, “It’s Britt’s turn!” My son was couldn’t have been happier to be ripped from his father’s arms by a complete stranger. Four moveable walls made up the set. The photographer’s gigantic camera was at one end mounted on a tall, thick pole so she could move it up and down to capture different angles and get a steady shot. There was only one light, and it wasn’t that hot or bright. The inside of the makeshift room was stark white with an ottoman covered by a piece of thick, white shag rug sitting in the center. The baby handler put Britt down on the ottoman and began a strange song and dance routine. I was told to stand where Britt couldn’t see me, because if babies see their parents they’ll get anxious to be with them, but I would be surprised if the boy could take his eyes off the 60-year-old woman singing a SpongeBob song while hitting herself in the head with a squeaky mallet. However, after only a few minutes of her antics Britt was uninterested. “Can we get dad in here?” I heard the photographer ask. Something was wrong. My hands began flop sweating again. Thankfully, Britt was not acting like Matthew, but he had become bored with the process. The last time he acted like this we were at a restaurant, and I took a menu and began fanning his face. He was giggling so much people thought we were sneaking him booze. I spotted a legal pad by the photographer and gave it to the babyhandler. “Wave this in his face,” I said and handed her the legal pad, and walked out. A few seconds later, he was laughing and smiling. “I wish they all could be as good as him,” the photographer told me as my baby was returned to me just a few minutes later. As I put his street clothes back on I was thinking about when I was going to tell him about our adventure. Maybe the first time will be on his 5th birthday. Then again when he turns ten. On the day he graduates high school and college, too. Walking back to the car, as he giggled as a truck carrying slabs of meat missed us by inches, I thought about his wedding day and how I could weave this into the speech I’ll give. I’d thank the bride’s family for such a lavish reception, and give praise to the minister for a lovely ceremony. I’d welcome Holly (a different one) to the family and say how her family is now our family. I’d then launch into Britt’s first job and how perfect he was. How I had never been so proud of someone so small, and how wonderful of a feeling that was. We’d drink and dance the night away, then Britt and Holly would be off to their honeymoon in Hawaii. But it might not happen like that. He could get married in a unification ceremony on a tree stump in the middle of Vermont to Bruce and they’d honeymoon at Fire Island. Either way, I’m telling the story of the stage dad and his son. |
||
Page: 1 | 2 |
||
|
||
1 Response to "Stage Dad"Leave a comment: | ||
|
||
Home -> Parenting -> General Parenting |
| ||
IMPERFECTION IN YOUR INBOX
 | ||
 | ||
| ||
POPULAR RIGHT NOW
Coffee or Tea, Which One is for Me? When I registered as an Independent, I did so because... read more » The Ides and Crooked Teeth of March According to the old saying, the month of March usually... read more » |
About The Imperfect Parent | Submission Guidelines | Press | Contact Us | Advertise on The Imperfect Parent | Privacy Policy | Terms of Use
All original content © 2002 - 2010 The Imperfect Parent™ and Tiny Tantrums Media. The Imperfect Parent and Mominatrix are trademarks of Prudentia Communications Group.
The views, opinions and information expressed in articles and blog posts published on imperfectparent.com and all subdomains are those of the authors alone. They do not represent the views or opinions of The Imperfect Parent or its staff, nor do they represent the views or opinions of any entity of, or affiliated with, The Imperfect Parent and Prudentia Communications Group. The Imperfect Parent is designed for entertainment purposes only and is not meant to be a substitute for medical, health, legal, or financial advice from a professional.
Reproduction of material from any of The Imperfect Parent's pages without written permission is strictly prohibited. The Imperfect Parent and Tiny Tantrums are trademarks of Prudentia Communications Group.
1. Tiger
Mar 08, 2007 08:52
Fabulous post!! Should be up for a perfect post award!!! You are a fantastic writer and I hope you save that post for your son to read someday.